Hygiene is a major problem for me. I haven’t had a bath for months. Mainly because I don’t like my bath-too narrow and shallow,thank you not council. I do strip wash but there can be several days between doing so. Clothes are an issue I tend to stay in the same clothes for a long time. I think a large part of that is a fixation with the washing machine breaking down if I use it too much. That really stems from a bout of extreme anxiety/akathisia when first on Consta. I got really obsessed about the washing machine breaking down and what I would do if it did. I even went as far as avoiding using it for a few weeks and washing my clothes in the bath. Even though I now know Currys would fit a new machine and take away the old machine I still have a fixation about overusing the machine.
I don’t think I smell much overall but after a while I can smell pissy in the underwear area. However do we always know how much we smell to others?
Knowing these things and having the motivation to be more proactive with them is a hard nut to crack.
I’ve seen several people on this site who have problems with taking a shower. As long as you’re not going to any parties or socializing I guess you can afford to be a little lax.
I’m NOT trying to flame, but this is my non-professional view on poor hygiene: It has to do with either laziness and/or low self-esteem. I know people who are moderate-functioning, but are totally on top of their hygiene. I’ve always been a HUGE believer in personal hygiene. This topic seems to come up quite a bit. I think if you care about yourself and how you present to others (i.e., are socially conscious), you will take care of yourself. I’ve had my episodes of depression to be sure. I’ve been on a respirator because of a suicide attempt that almost succeeded. As soon as I was out of that bed, I wanted to jump in the shower. I don’t like the “dirty” feeling. I’ve forgotten deodorant before, or I’ve missed shaving, and I get upset. I just like to be clean and fresh. Don’t take offense anyone, this is just how I think it works psychologically in my non-professional but personal experience.
I think it is more complex than that and can incorporates negative symptoms, paranoia, distorted thinking, cognitive difficulties etc . I think if I could get into a routine it would help but although I do better with a degree of routine I struggle with implementing the routine, Something like setting a time to at least strip wash daily. Changing into sleep wear at bedtime instead of sleeping in clothes. Having clean underwear/socks readily at hand . Not obsessing about using the washing machine(difficult one)
This makes me want to go off on a tangent (not the hysterical yelling kind - more like a derailing one). The following is WHAT I HAVE ENCOUNTERED in my OWN EXPERIENCES. These are not universal, by any means. Please bear that in mind.
I had a year’s worth of negative symptoms, and they sucked ass. Having said that, once I dragged my ass out of bed, I went straight to the bathroom and shat, showered, and shaved. I still believe it matters to people on a personal level, not an illness’. My ilnness evolved to what is now a purely positive symptom illness, and I continue to conduct thorough hygiene.
Next up: Paranoia. This might be the only room for movement in my mind. If you’re afraid of being attacked in the shower, I could see that as feasible. But you could still change clothes, brush teeth, shave, etc.
Now for distorted thinking/cognitive difficulties: I do not know how a cognitive difficulty could be an option unless you forget how to operate a shower and handles.
That is MY take on it. I think you have to WANT to take care of yourself. In your case, @firemonkey, I know you have said repeatedly on here that you have poor self-esteem. Perhaps getting this treated and not just waiting on a Risperdal injection could be of benefit.
I know I have been a little “hot” today on the forum. Stepping back for a bit (actually with @firemonkey 's assistance) , I can see that my agitation is about the “helpless victimhood” so often expressed here. Believe me, I do understand why this happens. I was utterly trapped and locked in a cage of that s##t from 1994 to 2003. And I understand that it took time to for me see where the keys to the lock were.
BUT. They were not (hint, hint) in the medicine cabinet.
The last time a professional mentioned poor self esteem they then proceeded to tell me how wrong I was about so many things which didn’t help the poor self esteem.
So it sounds like that, for you, one rotten apple spoils the bunch? I think you need to read more about the people on here who benefit from counseling/therapy. @mortimermouse, comes to mind. But you probably already knew that.
That’s what I heard them doing as well. But they weren’t. They were just frustrated after weeks or months (or years) of trying to get through to me. Not saying you were (or are) “wrong” here. Just that I definitely was and needed all the REBT they could jam down my gullet to get me up out of my self-victimizing.
Been down the therapy route. Involved 2 trained therapists who preferred to moralise(you can be a good person if) than acknowledge or help me with any psychological difficulties. Finally saw an untrained person from the day centre who was assigned to me who turned out to be a member of a small religious sect, and cut me off when I inadvertently offended her religious sensibilities.
Since then because I didn’t persevere with bad therapy with the first two, and got ditched by the untrained one, I’ve been labelled as unsuitable for therapy. It would have been nice to have had a constructive/supportive therapist but it didn’t happen.
Hmm. Definitely don’t blame you. I had some good ones, some not so good ones, and some plain awful ones. After a while, I ditched therapists per se and went straight to the workbooks.
Which, btw, is the direction a lot of Psy.D.s (Ph.D.-level “meta therapists”) want to go. “Most therapists aren’t worth the time wasted with them,” say some of the Psy.D.s now (tho not all). “We’ll make more headway for the patients if we fire the incompetent therapists and use the ones we keep on board just to lead the pts through the workbooks.”
I have tried reading a few workbooks but struggle to get to grips with them.
On the hygiene front. Have set myself the routine of strip washing/bathing before bed and changing into lounge wear. Changing my underwear every day and my t shirt/trousers every couple of days. Took the first steps this evening. Hoping it gets an easier thing to do and I can get over the neurotic/obsessional/irrational anxiety over overusing the washing machine in time.
Having said that about the washing machine. It is over 10 years old and maybe due for a replacement. Took a look at washing machines and thought "wow they look so technical now compared to the one I use " Felt like I’d need to go on a training course to be able to use one . I guess I’m phobic when it comes to coping with technological/product changes.
Just had a shower this morning without being prompted to by a cell phone. Proud of myself. It’s not that I’m phobic about hygiene, I just forget to go through the steps. Annoying how I can basically memorize the Windows Registry yet not remember when I need to change my skivvies.
Being a child of divorce, I grew up in therapy. I lucked out and had a good therapist to start with. I have been on the business end of a bad therapist though (she the student therapist, sat through hours of my paranoid ramblings and never contacted her supervisors or a Pdoc).
You don’t have to do the therapy route, if you are proactive enough by yourself. The motivation and will to succeed is something that you can tap into. You can guide your obsessiveness like a river and turn it in on yourself. I have a problem that I can’t handle on my own, but I have to push through it. I don’t have a qualified therapist on hand (my old one was “meh”). I will focus on my goals and the little changes that will get me there.
If you make a large high goal to reach it will improve your chances of success.