Are you happy?

Hi, my friendship circle is getting smaller and my family are distant. I rely on nhs support and feel odd and alone. So, after googling why don’t people want to know you if you are mentally ill an article appeared written by a mental health professional who says nobody wants to know a schizophrenic for many listed reasons. I feel so depressed about that. I believed my parents would love me no matter what but this article may explain why my mother has had enough. She moved four hours away and although she calls for ten minutes each day she won’t go near discussing how I feel. If I start to tell her she winds the conversation down. My dad is working every day. My sister has a superior opinion of herself despite not showing or feeling any charity… we don’t even talk. My husband is the most loving and supportive but is at work during the day so I’m alone. My longest friendship of 38 years has ended because I’m not happy with how she has treated me. Other friendships are few and scarce. And all I can see now is stigma and all I feel is embarrassment and social anxiety. I had a therapist but I felt even more let down because he never seemed to listen… I just got spoken to. At one point I could distinguish that hallucinations weren’t real. Now, I feel lost, weird, on my own. Does anyone else identify? What cheers you up?

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Hang in there and don’t get discouraged, i don’t have any friends, coworkers but i never tell anyone about this part of my life because i learned to keep quiet years ago, my wife also is my closest friend, our daughter and three granddaughters also, we moved here to be near them, this is for me the reason to live, music and art make me happy and my family, while its easy to fall prey to negativity, i hope you stay encouraged

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Thank you for taking the time to respond for me. I know I should look on the bright side or I may end up being treated for depression at the same time but I can’t hack these distressing feelings around real life events. I too want a family of my own but concern myself over whether I will manage with just my husband’s help. I feel like a social outcast and I’m witnessing what feels like cruel behaviour…

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Am I happy? In some ways I am fortunate. In other ways I am unfortunate. Sometimes I think I would almost rather live on the street than take all the med’s I have to take, but I’m sure that would get old in time. The street is a real predatory environment. It sounds to me like you have quite a bit going for you in your life - a mother who loves you, a husband who loves you, a place to live. I understand that you can always get down. Have you tried antidepressants? Maybe a change in routine, or in your environment. Maybe you could get your husband to take you out some night. Maybe to the theatre, if that’s available. Go for walks with a friend. If you don’t have a friend, make one.

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I’m happy when I’m alone with nature, though spots for that are hard to find where I live now. Someone who lives here told me she lives up on the 5th floor where she can see the mountains + the crows fly. I’m thinking about moving up there.

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Hi Crimby, I would like an antidepressant but my psychiatrist doesn’t think that’s the solution and I think he’s probably right… I feel unmotivated towards new friendships. It’s just who on earth will be up for befriending someone who suffers from schizophrenia and lives in a neighbouring reality. I have a social worker who visits me but she’s paid to and even then I hear her persecute me. Yes, I should count my blessings but I also fear losing them profoundly…

Hi Pob, I’m a nature lover too and I go walking alone. Yes, the fifth floor sounds better for you! Think of the view…

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When I’m in a “zone” of focusing on sz, either because I’m deep into delusions/hearing and seeing hallucinations etc., or just thinking about the past, present, future with sz, I have repeatedly experienced even people who I know love me back away. It hurts. But I’m trying to keep in mind that they sincerely can’t handle it. They don’t know what to say or do. I’m happy with my husband. He’s a really gentle and kind person. I feel hurt and disappointed sometimes because he never wants to talk about my experiences. He just doesn’t know what to do with the information. I’m most happy when I accept life and the people around me just as is.

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If you can find a doc who is interested enough to get you on the right (doses of), antidepressant, your attitude toward the things in your life that bother you might turn your life around. It took me time and trial + error, but I’ve been depression-free for I-d say maybe 35 years. You’re ok in spite of all those things. And this may seem a little unrealistic, but you choose - depressed for life or a little unreal and able to live more freely and up to par.

Drs like to think things can be cured by therapy, by sorting out problems, and that maybe true - but where are the results? How long will it take - Where’s the truth that if you spend 20 years unhappy working on your life that you’ll come out fixed in the end. Where are some other patients who have successfully done this. I know - confidentiality -

My last brother to have some time to spend with me might be close to getting married. He’s not going to have as much time for me . I’m beginning to think about living more on my own psychologically though still needing help dealing with some things in the world - not being so needy, which means being more lonely too, which can be character-building if not too severe.

And your life, too. Whatever you do. Finding the antidepressant might take some time + or you might be lucky + hit it off with one right away. Were you depressed before the changes in life events?

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Peace18 wrote…"…music and art make me happy and my family…"

Nice thoughts! I agree. These are the 3 areas that keep me ticking as well! :wink:

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no I think about suicide everyday. I avoid drinking alcohol, but I’ve been tempted to become an alcoholic because my dad keeps bringing home vodka all of the time, and i’m tempted to just chug it and forget all of my problems. I know if I do I will lose my job working for my dad and probably drop out of school, but what difference does it make? Maybe then I could handle life. I probably won’t do either, but I think about doing it all of the time. I’d rather fail because I became an alcoholic than because I couldn’t do it. I don’t really want to put my family through either me becoming an alcoholic, or committing suicide, but i can’t handle life. I’m too fragile and brittle and I broke a long time ago.

I was sitting on my futon about an hour ago, thinking “damn, I haven’t felt like this since I was probably 11.” It was just a general feeling of contentment I had, I guess, not sure. I’m not overly knowledgeable in emotions really. I’ve been getting happy with life again though, since my really good friend died not even a year ago, then I unintentionally proved to myself my marriage was a giant lie. I was content with life before my friend died, but it was kinda shallow I guess. On a side note, I’ve never had anything most people try to achieve to become happy, and still don’t.

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Hi Hedgehog, I know precisely how you feel. Nobody wants to continually be drained from constant talk of psychosis and when you can’t help it it’s not only humiliating but it also hurts… My husband is also really kind so that’s good fortune.

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Hi Pob, I felt depressed frequently in my childhood and constantly as a teenager. I suffered some misfortune outside of the family for a long period of time and was left to cope alone…

Sounds like antidepressants might be good to try. If your doc doesn’t much believe in them? he might not be a lot of help? All I did was try one - if it made me feel better I worked on the dose a bit. I finally settled on a particular one after upping it to the highest possible dose I could take. That did the trick. Maybe he would let you do this.

Hi, sounds like you have it worse than me… what a nightmare. Please keep positive. Give school your best shot. At least you will then know you’ve tried your best even if the grades don’t match the effort, you will have fulfilled your duty. As schizophrenia progresses it is sometimes easier to handle and so if you work hard now you might not be so behind in life later on… and then, even if you don’t want to start work you could look forward to taking off a couple of years to get yourself together… think towards a positive time in the future…

Sounds tough but I’m glad you feel a bit better. I am happier married and as such will do almost anything to hold on to the relationship. I fear losing it on a massive level.

I guess it’s something to think about. I would rather be med free though! Thanks for your help with this…

Me, too
15151515

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Yes? I think im happy. It’s sort of like when a freinds ask me if I’m alright and i almost feel like I’m lying by sayings yes. No matter how the day went.

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