That is a good attitude. Foe or Friend?
I like to say, iām in a wheelchair of the mind.
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It is my personal opinion that having Schizophrenia is a disability. With the constant distractions in my head, the noise from the voices, the concentration issues because Iām not sure what to focus onā¦it all prevents me from functioning in a job. And to me that is disability. It is mental yes, it is emotional yes, it may not be physical as someone can not see m hallucinating. They can see me reacting to a hallucination, but the cannot see the hallucinations going on in my head.
I donāt care what anyone else thinks, to me Schizophrenia is as much of a disability as if someone didnāt have function with one or any of their limbsā¦
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You have came up with a good definition of (mental) disability.
I can remember one particularly dark time of my life. I was even working a full time job at the time but even the job itās self was dark and depressing thankless third shift work in the belly of an industrial beast that ironically kept all the lights on for everybody.
But anyway during this time in my life I remember having the thought that I might as well put myself in a wheelchairā¦smash my own body somehow. Maybe then people could actually visibly see the damaged and disabled state I felt I was in.
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I am shocked by reading what you intended to do.
Perhaps the surrounding people will never know you were mentally sick before. Chances are you will recover one day.
hey donāt worry about me.
I am well along the path of recovery. Symptom free %99 percent of the time. Sure thereās still some scars and psychological booboos from all Iāve been through. But as far as anything as dark as that such things are far, far in my past.
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It would make work more stressful. Iāve worked and it was ok. Iām depressed because I think Iām disabled, and Iām not. But having a label will make people think Iām disabled even if Iām not sure if I am. Whatās crippling me right now is depression and helplessness. I donāt mind it. Itās the very thought that Iām not completely lucid or that I canāt always be who I want to be. In school I get overwhelmed over time because itās hard to keep up. I used to be faster. The more I push myself to succeed the more I have to stress my symptoms.
You really canāt understand anyone elseās whole situation. Canāt walk a schizo mile in someone elseās moccasins as US natives put it, right?
Social problems: Some cities have a lot of people who are angry about a person getting a disability check. Some cities have a LOT of part-time psychotics who verbally harass strangers (gang stalk/cause stalking/thought broadcasting) so FEW get a govt disability check as it is local office which handles these decisions. These places are VERY hostile to someone getting a disability check, even if you are new to townā¦Also, some schizo victims feel forced into minimum wage jobs in some citiesā¦Other places are great with anyone who is working in anything. Some little towns in US are filled with hate-mongers and even the deaf buy and mentally handicap ones work. Some churches have taken up harassing people on disability checks too so it can be really bad in some places ā¦Some of the college instructors will even bully mentally ill people out of the class which can cause a financial crisis if person got loans to pay for it as they are now dueā¦This whole education system is broken & filled with abuse opportunities in US so best to sign up for 2-3 classes and pay cash before locking into an educational loan. Also need to get your current pdoctor to sign off that āyou are disabledā if you are having any social harassment from strangersā¦this is only way to handle a professor who bullies people. It is best to never even own mental care or a diagnosis, in personal life or work. (This is a topic of public smear campaign if you ever get in legal trouble & use this excuse as some people who follow orders from voices will tryā¦)
How bad is the mental care locally? I mean, in my state the mental care is so bad most of the well employed people were ruined by the mental care because we had good insurance. Forced from our jobs due to temporary problem with performance (which is big bragging rights amongst managers locally to ruin workers leaving on a medical leave & even topic of management workshops) and pdoctors signing people up for permanent mental care & disability checks is normal. However, the mental care is now nagging some long-term disability cases to work which has gotten people ruined if they have been unemployed for a long time or failed some work attempts due to badly managed fields of employment. Local educational retraining options are slim for anyone with any degree (even 30s / 40s & able to handle it) but someone 65 with a college education can get retrained after a layoff and sit on his arse with a new hobbyā¦
There is ALWAYS a problem adjusting to functioning with the psychosis symptoms & this can take a while to learn to ignore. Some of the fortunate people will get assistance in US after 1-2 year wait & applying 2+ times for benefits. But unfortunately, most of the who were barely supporting a family or self were ruined by the onset of symptoms for a while & had to take any kind of job to be okay. The only people who get disability payments in the US usually had some money in savings and could handle a ton of medical bills plus no employment long enough to get a disability payment.
The social problems in victimās city really determine function (okay dysfunction) & sometimes victims are run inside by all the gang stalkers & disability check haters. Support system, closeness or dysfunction of family and friends is huge.
Oh gosh, some people do experience cognitive problems & little memory hiccups too all the way to full blown PTSD. Local psych doctors wonāt even help some PTSD cases so you are on your ownā¦Worse, victim is told they have false memories and need to go back to cause of the memory losses & got hurt.
I would just keep quiet and work on your functioningā¦I so understand your complaints about living in a hostile cityā¦Iām 300 lb lady and more than half the men wonāt make eye contact eitherā¦I donāt let this bother meā¦ Strangers bad-mouthing me bothers me but Iām getting used to them. (I guess it is the fat-kid with belligerent parents who finally grew up and didnāt have to take this for a long time until the nervous breakdownā¦Life isnāt fair. Itās fairly nice to know you donāt have to let it bother you & eventually know who to avoid.)
In the beginning, you are lucky to follow the whole tv show, read magazine or play video gameā¦Try getting some sleep help as the insomnia GREATLY reduces patience and function. Exercising (even with headphones) is great to get sun exposure. I think you could find some nice people & screen out the nasties by trying online dating. Dating4disabled.net may be good place to start as it is intāl & disability is listed if you are concernedā¦Match.com was best in US in my opinion but there is a fee.
According to the Americans with Disabilities Act, I am disabled. According to Social Security, I am also disabled
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