When I had these thoughts the Matrix came on the TV in the mental hospital I was staying in an hour later. There are a lot of coincidences in life, but I’ve gotten past this somewhat narcissistic thinking. Not saying it makes you a narcissist but the thinking itself is narcissistic. But it’s all part of the illness.
I don’t think schizophrenia is a disease of vanity, more like a disease of confusion.
In my case, in the worst moments I felt myself like a hell; nowadays I feel better than those moments.
Tolteca
It’s just a way to personally justify treating other [real life] human beings as “irrelevant.”
Not if you think you’re Jesus and attempt to gain empathy for people and understanding and become more “jesuslike”. Everyone is different. There’s some narcissism. But then again humans are narcissistic. Schizophrenics are just the confused ones. Just because you haven’t experienced this belief doesn’t mean you have to go bad mouthing those who have. Idk. I’m done with this forum it’s starting to make me paranoid. Until later tonight folks!
Really? Because I still treat people kindly… What exactly is it I am justifying? You however, I would like to treat as irrelevant.
This is so true - never really thought about it in this way, but this illness is very self centered.
So is bipolar - another self centered illness
**Maybe not self-centered as much as self-focused.
My son has to concentrate pretty hard on what he is doing almost every minute-or he would fall apart. He lives day to day…
Samples–hope you are feeling better 
**
You may or may not take an interest in this:
“According to Freud, Schizophrenics are individuals whose egos are not strong enough to cope effectively with unacceptable ID impulses, overwhelmed with anxiety and regress to the early oral stage…This regression to an ego-less phase accounts for Schizophrenic’s break with reality, since it is the ego that mediates between the self and the identity”. - Bootzin, Richard R, Abnormal Psychology, Fourth Edition, Page: 362.
if it is i’m the doorman…!?!..lol
take care from the 
and the snuggly 
bunny.
this has been my theory for quite some time now. damn it freud, stealing my theories. there is hope for us though.
I will certainly try my best, Madame 
(I’ll admit, it takes much for me to comprehend such things in one spin, also, so I have to read and re-read many times over).
What I had quoted above is the Psycho-dynamic Perspective; Sigmund Freud followed more on the Psycho-dynamic theory when it comes to Schizophrenia. He and other scientists were unsure if they should consider Schizophrenia as having one mental disorder or if it is many mental disorders collided into one.
Regardless however, Freud had considered regression to be a defense mechanism in Schizophrenic patients. Meaning, when trauma is experienced by the Schizophrenic, they regress into a different stage, or reality as a defense mechanism to escape what is perceived as intolerable or unbearable to them.
This typically means Schizophrenics have the ability to escape reality through an earlier phase before trauma existed and that phase is often times - childhood. If you’re lucky, even teen year mentality. Children and teens do have self-centered mentalities, but the point ultimately was to mean, even Sigmund Freud considered Schizophrenia to be … a disease of unconscious disorientation. (Aka, a disorder that is made to confuse the brain so it will refuse to grasp the struggles of reality it finds itself currently living in to avoid further damage, distraught, or distress. Hence allowing the brain to go to the time before trauma was experienced so the brain believes its not actually being harmed, convinced, or tricked).
I hope this makes sense to you. This is typically a long to write lecture that could result in boredom and really, no one wants to read on forever, ha. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it shorter.
Yes! That I can believe! That makes sense!
My theory at one point is when your real ego goes like this __________ and your false ego goes up high. and you have a separation of real ego and false ego. so there is some narcissism, through fantasy. but in reality we are very much the opposite of narcissistic. so it fools people to not understanding us. I hope this makes sense.
I am hoping that I understand correctly so if I am by any means wrong - please, do not hesitate to tell me so.
What I gather from this is - when I, for example, think and perceive through my false ego, I have a sense of narcissism in relation to an over-exaggerated sense of self importance - as I’m wanting to be important, famous, adored, cherished, etc (Which, I do believe I have my own life purpose as I’m hoping others do as well). This perception of what my false ego feels is differing from my real ego, in that when I am conscious to the reality I am living in, I do not live as someone with much self importance, famous, important, adored, cherished, etc…
On the inside - Narcissism
On the outside - Loathing (perhaps?) - Seeking average lifestyle
This just made me think of why they consider Schizophrenia to mean “Split Mind”.
Yeah this forum is awesome because I’ve wanted to be famous on the inside but deep down don’t want that lifestyle. Don’t enjoy confrontations and whatnot, but I’ve wanted to be loved. So it makes me know I’m not alone. I can relate with your post 100%. I’ve been diagnosed schizoaffective and avoidant personality disorder which just means low self-asteem. I believe I love myself but hate myself too. And that split causes madness. Hmmm. I sometimes wish my doctors would nominate me for studies to be done on me so I can feel important since I think I have good self-awareness on it all. Lol!
i’ve had something similar. it was very confused at the time and not clear in my head but basically the universe was a virtual reality reality of some sort and the only way out of it was to kill myself…(how very convenient for my attackers) oh and kill my kids of course as we were the only ones who could do it, who would wake up on this wonderful flying saucer. none of it made any bloody sense. not that i would’ve taken the risk of killing myself anyway and what bloody mother even not in her right mind would kill her kids? it was a nice way for them to get rid of three witnesses at once if i’d have fallen for it and actually had the belief to go through with it…myself i mean…never my kids. try as they might they could never destroy my survival instinct or my love for my kids. they based it on a true scientific theory which is that the universe or multiverse is a hologram. there will be proof either way in the next two years. can’t believe they actually expected that i would go through with it and kill myself or my babies but they tried anyway. so anyway, we may well be living in a hologram but neither you nor i will ever experience the outside of it as we are not players…we are sims. this is our reality until we die. so yes you are real, your children are real, as is your husband until proven otherwise by science. look up the holographic principle when you’re a bit better. don’t do it now as it will only make you worse but it makes for interesting reading. if it is true, i for one would love to know who’s running the show as i would have some serious words with him. it has to be a guy or you wouldn’t have rape and murder or peadophilea, not that women don’t do that but they are generally taught by bad men. not saying all men are like this either so don’t take it the wrong way but hell, if god exists, he needs a good talking to…no offense god. anyway, i digress, you are real, your kids are real and everyone else is real. talk to your pdoc and get your meds upped or changed until you feel more comfortable. good luck.
I haven’t so much as wanted to be famous, exactly, but I do want to build a secure, stable life in the interest of what I want as a career or title as opposed to merely just working a minimum wage job resulting in a next-to-no-one my whole life.
I used to have wide-set goals. I wanted to begin as an asylum doctor studying psychopathology, forensics, and even act as a Schizophrenia Specialist. After this, I wanted to turn into acquiring my own office and staff where I could build the funds to set up my own Asylum bar. Oddly, the two don’t seem to go together well, but I wanted to own a Bar & Grill where our drinks were similar to Psychology (i.e. The brain hemorrhage shot, shots taken out of fake medication bottles, and even a beer label that looked like a Brain Jar label.) Have the inside look like walking into a mental hospital where the staff could wear nursing attire or hospital gowns.
I don’t think I will personally make it this far, however. Things I dream of just don’t seem to be suitable for the world and the world’s interest. My husband and I want to move to Germany in the next two years after his degree is completed; The Germans love Psychology related things and I feel the bar would do excellent there, but it simply wouldn’t make it here in the US.
Ha, maybe if I ever make it into being a Doctor, I can conduct you for studies so your name can be published in books as Psychology’s History progresses. 
I wanted to be a rapper, a writer, a singer…only one I’m good at/confident about is writing but I don’t have the commitment to write a book. I’ve wanted to be a priest, a journalist, a therapist, a psychic (which I’m not), a healer/shaman. Lol I’ve had lots of goals, i’ll probably just work menial jobs the rest of my life though. which I’ve come to accept I’m not great at anything.
Couldn’t hurt to give it a try anyways, could it?
I enjoy writing, but I don’t have the ability to stay consistent with it, so what I do is just work on a page a day. So far, its been well. If you’d like, I can even link you to one of my short stories so you could have a peek. Believe me, they’re not great.
Have you tried keeping a journal that’s based around fiction of whatever topic you’d like a book to be based on and just write only a page a day?