I feel ashamed for having sz 
I watched a beautiful mind and he got sick and i felt ashamed for having sz, couldn’t help it still feel ashamed, i dont want this disease
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I feel bad about how bad I’ve regressed, some of the activities I take part in (or fail to) make me feel guilty or ashamed. Some of my intrusive thoughts cause extreme guilt, but not necessarily shame.
How can you feel comfortable or proud of yourself when your symptoms make you unable to take care of your self or do the necessary things which need to be done?
Also, having bad thought processes and obsessions stresses me out. I should actually be more unsettled by this, but apathy seems to take the edge off. I would say, not caring about anything has been the most adaptive symptom for me. Because I can have all these terrible thoughts and feelings from the positive symptoms and simply not care, or only feel them halfway. If I weren’t emotionally numb from apathy or the antipsychotics I would be in pain all the time, from my mind constantly assaulting me.
No I don’t feel ashamed about it. I feel slightly ashamed about getting side effects from antipsychotics. I don’t know why. It’s weird.
I wish I could just tolerate huge doses of any and all antipsychotics, but I just can’t. I feel guilty a bit when I have to report side effects I get.
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