Schizophrenia.com

Another conversation with voices


#1

Hey, give me a break, there is nothing to do.

“You think that guy was not a witch mike? Either he was one with a “familiar spirit” or he was sitting there was some device in the room making you have a vision, or a hallucination as the science nuts say these days. And he blatantly yelled at you after doing this to you that “im a black witch!” It just does not get anymore obvious than that.” They say.

“Could have been technology though.” I say in retort.

“It’s true, technology is getting better, couldn’t really tell the difference could you these days. Let’s put it like this, what would people using technology look and sound like, at least usually?. Would faeries be jumping out during your psychosis, and it looked entirely physical also, half of a goat man, “pan” himself. Would he appear if it were only people and their technology?” They say.

“Sure, people would do stuff like that.” I say.

“True, then why have shaman and others always seen them throughout the ages and different places? Tell me that smart guy. You aren’t the only one to have seen that guy you know, scores and scores of human beings have seen that guy over the years. So, whats your opinion on that one?” They say.

“It does appear that way yes, and i don’t think that we are alone in this existance at all, but it’s just safe to leave it alone for now because of all of this human technology, they can make people hear voices and who knows maybe even cause visions also. And yes, they would love making some people think they were a god or whoever.” I say.

“So, fine, leave it alone then. But know that there are others and that they to have their own technology, not only people. It must be maddening not knowing.” They say.

“You are gonna get smacked for that little comment.” I say.

“Yep, we are getting smacked for alot of things, we already told you we know that. But once your in your in and you have to live that way for awhile, we couldn’t bloody likely just stop only because we were going to get the same in return. Thats not anywhere near good.” They say.

“Okay. You know to be honest i wish you’d just leave, whoever you are, not that i care anymore who you are. So full of yourself aren’t you, me me me, this is who i am! Who cares, just leave. If you didn’t have us you’d probably have nothing at all. Losers.” I say.

“True.” They say.

“This never goes anywhere. could you just knock something over or something, so i would know at least.” I ask.

“We could yes, but will we, no. We aren’t going to give you all of the facts, and yes we are bastards like that. Keep you guessing, suspended animation, leave you hanging. It’s like sugar to us, it simply just tastes sweet, our bodies give us dopamine when it happens.” They say.

“Listen, you know both are real, us and our technology and humans and their technology. Why drive yourself crazy thinking about which you are doing right now? And do you find it odd at all how human technology has mimicked what we have always done? For all you know we may be feeding them information at different times, we can even do this when they don’t know it, they just think it’s them. Just sayin, a bit odd how what we have always done is being mimicked in certain ways thats all.” They say.

“Like voices for instance. yes they can induce sounds and voices in people now, among other things we have always done. But i think you know when you look back at that time when you were alone in the kitchen and we grabbed you on your shoulder that it wasn’t people. But hey, maybe they are that advanced now who knows right, perhaps they can induce something in the brain that feels like a hand on your shoulder. But we can tell you though it can always be both at this point.” They say.

“AAAhhhhhhh, urgh, frustrating fuqing ■■■■■■■■!” I answer.

“yeah.” They say.

End convo. This is the ■■■■ i put up with sometimes, i can’t wait to be done with this life.


#2

I don’t want to sound preachy - like - life is beautiful, god damn it, start loving it now! But maybe u can still find ways of enjoying this life by adopting - for example - a whole new outlook and/or self image. Like - u can be this cool arrogant loner who walks around observing life from the point of view of somebody who knows that there is more to it.


#3

Maybe i could adopt a new outlook, i used to have that outlook though, and then every single last piece of ■■■■ was thrown into my fan, and it went all over me and my home.

Seriously, i was very very happy with life.

My legs hurt.


#4

legs hurt - bad - my sympathies
I do agree that voices are bastards and do seem to be able to spoil just about everything.
I find myself super jelly of ‘normal’ people and of pre-voices myself.
My voices are sometimes abusive to the extent of being childish - like - are you seriously? what are you, freaking five years old?
so - yes - saying things like - all you need to do is to change your outlook - comes through as a flat generic slogan - like - thank you very much - why wouldn’t you try my head on and see where your outlook goes