I’m just full of anger and bitterness and bad moods all the time it seems. I can’t get out of my own head.
I go from being displeased about everything to being angry. And even if things change it doesn’t feel like what I wanted. There’s just so much negativity around me it’s toxic and spreading. My entire body is filled with toxic ■■■■. I’m just doomed to be miserable and unbearable to be around forever.
@StripedShirtBoy, sounds like your mood is elevated and irritable. You should probably report this to your pdoc.
Thanks Gina. I’m going to. I don’t see any of my docs until the 20something but I’m riding it out. I feel like nothing can make it better.
In the past two weeks I have screamed at my husband, told him I wished I was dead and that I wasted my life with him (all because he didn’t give me credit with our work…like I’m that volitile rn), I put holes in my bedroom walls, I’ve broken so many things. I’ve thrown away so much of our stuff recently, I have hardly touched food in the past two weeks I lost 13 lbs, I just sit and stare off for hours being angry about everything or I cry and blame things or people and then even my husband tries to fix it and I just don’t want it. I don’t want to feel good maybe. Maybe I want to be this way. It’s so hard.
Yes, it sounds like your mood is a little hyper and elevated right now. You might want to try meditation to calm yourself in the meantime before your pdoc appointment. I go to the www.InsightTimer.com app on my smartphone. They have thousands of totally free meditations to choose from. You can learn how to meditate there. Meditation calms me.
Thank you I will try that. 
️
You are most welcome @StripedShirtBoy. Best wishes.
In my area there is a mental health line open 24 hours that you can call. Perhaps you could see if there is one in your area or nationally? It’s totally confidential so you can talk about what you want. I do this sometimes and find it can help just to talk to someone impartial.
Thank you Scott. I appreciate your reply. I appreciate all of the replies I get on this forum. I care for each of you. And I find it uncomplicated to write on this forum about how I am doing. I’m just not sure what I would say if I called someone. It’s like I don’t know what’s wrong. Or where to begin.
When I called before I didn’t know what to say, and they said they get that a lot. Perhaps if you did do it, you could read them your original post?
Just a suggestion. As you say this forum helps a lot also.
I am just beyond angry with things at the moment personally. I hope you find a way to deal with this. How long has this been going on for?
I have never had anger issues, but when ill I have gone through times, I feel everyone hated me and I was useless, abilify seems to have taken all that away, it might work for anger, just a guess though
You’re right. I have walked into countless doctors offices not knowing what to say and it doesn’t always take long for me to start word vomiting everywhere.
I think I will try and get some sleep now and if I feel this way tomorrow (likely) I will call A helpline. 
I don’t know how long it’s been. It’s been really bad since June 1st weekend. I know that.
Yes, you’re right. Maybe ability would help. i definitely need to be placed on some type of mood stabilizer. I went off of mine when I was placed on latuda and we left it at that. It’s been a rocky road since.
I can sleep now. Goodnight everyone 
This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.