To get rid of the voices I have to do the same thing as I do when I get rid of the telepathy, it was working for a while there but for some reason the sound of the fan just gives the voices space to fill. My tactics have fallen apart. Really don’t want to lay here and listen to this ■■■■. They are trying to get my attention as we speak, doing new freaky things. I know if I want them to go away I have to block them out of my focus.
■■■■ I hate hearing voices.
Did God design this illness, tailored to my psyche? Or is it just neurological bs. I wonder sometimes.
It seems perfect in a way yet totally illogical, I always do better psychologically when I have a break from my symptoms, they just keep me spinning in the same bs.
Well I’m still learning to cope better with this ■■■■.
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I get music at random times with the fan on. Last week it was relaxing with some sort of gospel organ music. Last night however was just plain creepy. Some sort of goth/punk Temperature was about 26oC (79oF) at a high humidity. So was a case of melt or try and sleep with fan on and put up with the auditory hallucinations. Struggled to get much sleep and even upped my meds. Didn’t wake till about 11am when I did get to sleep…Just so many layers to this illness.
Yeah there are certain sounds I know are going to induce some voices.
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It seems some people do get voices or music from fans or ACs running. I get songs, even radio stations.
I have a theory that the rapid spinning of the fan bearing creates a vibration conducive to either creating music or tuning in to music that’s in the atmosphere, like radio waves, maybe even peoples singing and playing.
This phenomenon is not just experienced by people with SZ…
http://hearinglosshelp.com/weblog/musical-ear-syndrome-in-people-with-normal-hearing.php
A continuous sound such as a fan running in the background—it could be a furnace, air conditioner, fridge, bedroom fan, etc.—seems to cause numbers of people to hear phantom music.
Somehow the brain takes this constant background sound and modulates it into music. Some people have specifically noticed they hear phantom music whenever their furnace/air conditioner comes on and goes away when their furnace/air conditioner cycles off. Your noise generator is doing much the same thing for you. This is a special kind of MES that is relatively common in people with normal hearing.
Stories:
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Can-Hear-Music-In-My-Head/606099
Yeah, it’s like a continuous one two punch to the face all day long. The voices, the secondary thought form, or apparent telepathy.
I might have it bad but at least I have control for the most part. I can keep up in discussions and am finding myself having more to say. I don’t have depression or anxiety. Well maybe brief instances of anxiety, just enough to put pressure on the mind and cause me to have a sort of judgemental case of mental Tourette’s. I’m really trying to work on that now, maybe other people can’t hear it, but I sure can. I’ve already made progress in eliminating this, and I won’t be happy until I do.
It’s just a different perspective on the self, I don’t know if it can be undone. I’d have to get amnesia coinciding with a magical disappearance of the illness.
Well when things are quiet I can keep my voices from getting loud. If I really want to I can stir the pot, but it just goes nowhere.
If it wasn’t God maybe I did this to myself. It seems like the perfect trap and cage. I can’t forget about my hallucinations, they are one of the more interesting things that has happend to me. They are mysterious, although I think I’ve explored the potentials pretty thoroughly. Still every few days though, I just get confused and it’s like what the hell is this ■■■■.
Well whatever another day, time for some coffee, thanks for reading.
Oh and that’s an interesting find lunaseer, I think I will just try to leave the fan off for now.