There’s a lot of layers to what very much kind of went down in my personal life last night but I really hit a point of no return regarding me devoting so much to fixing others and neglecting myself, noting it got so bad that I had to realize I was developing alcoholic tendencies.
I think the worst parts about it were that I had to come to terms with the fact I was basically being helpless, on purpose, knowing there were better ways of dealing with ■■■■ I have going on (not just likely-schizoaffective disorder) but also the fact it definitely affected the person I’m living with even if indirectly. Point of no return, like I said.
I at least curbed it. Never making that mistake again.
Hugs, dude. I also had one of those moments. I realized with perfect clarity that I was going to end up dead within months if I didn’t stop immediately. Next, I realized I did not want to die. I just wanted things to be better. There were a few bumps in the road here and there after that moment, but that was when my mindset truly shifted and I put real effort into recovery.
lovely words + Very Agreeing with your general sentiment here, not gonna lie. i think i just was really elaborately not ready to grow up about my stuff that i think i talk to way too many people about. i’d rather keep to forums like this one about that sorta stuff, seems to be the move for me.
it was fun making all my friends go “WHOA” that i can drink it straight and just be like “lol” but no that is definitely not really a good thing that i could do that. Dangerous stuff. hahaha
i’d rather just be talkative and not extremely walled off from other people just sort of in a normal way instead of needing to rely on a substance like that that could Very Easily poison the heck out of me. the hangover this morning wasn’t even a super bad one but it was bad enough to make me want to kick that habit for good.
I love the taste of almost all hard licquor. But, very fortunately for me, I can get no buzz from any of it no matter how much I drink, so it’s just a waste of time. That’s because I am on so many AP’s.
job i am trying to land has health insurance. i’d benefit greatly from medications for generalized anxiety disorder, overall. feels like my #1 weakness.