I did a bad thing

Health and Recovery
1

On my way home from the dentist I stopped and got a pint of vodka, I don’t know why. I don’t want to drink but everything is telling me it will be ok. I’ve been sober since February of 2018. Hate addictions and my weaknesses. I’m just watching the bottle right now. They want me to drink, they always want me to drink, they want to see me weak and vulnerable. I can’t stand it? Why not! Jesus drank and you test me on the same lines?!? I don’t want to be!

My Pdoc can’t figure what’s wrong with me. Maybe they’re real, she doesn’t know, she doesn’t understand, she’s a sheep.

Tired of all this, my soul is tired, Worn thin, maybe I am just a worthless crazy addict, but ■■■■ them, I don’t care anymore

2

You should pour it out. Drinking never turns out good. The temporary relief is not worth it. :frog::frog::frog:

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3

You havent given in yet. Theres still time to tell those voices to go ■■■■ themselves

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4

and in the end when you look back on your life, you have to wonder why did we ever let others influence our thinking so much, especially when it was only good for them and not us.

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5

You should just pour it in the sink,

Don’t think about it, just do it.

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6

Do as @anon54386108 said. Don’t think. Just pour it down the sink.

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7

I just want them to go away, I’m not the chosen one, I’m not a ■■■■■■■ bodhisattva. I just want to be normal, right now I know if I chug this bottle it will put me to sleep and stop the voices, why would I want to stay in this world, oblivion calls, I just want to sleep

8

Do you have a PRN?

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9

And I’m sorry, I’m sorry to put all of this here, I just need to get over it and man up, like my family would say. Pay for everything, sure you’re rich, but that doesn’t make you a good person! Sorry, sorry

10

My Pdoc doesn’t trust me with them because I’m an addict

11

I would walk through fire to get a Xanax right now

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12

It will probably kill you. If you’ve been off booze for ages then your tolerance is back to zero.

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13

I can’t kill myself, the angels would never let me join them if I did, they’re just testing me I think. They planned all this. Set me up and just watch me fail, to pass I have to toss the bottle. They don’t expect me, I may not be like them, but I can sure as hell show them how strong I can be!

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14

That’s the spirit. Be strong and dump out. :blush::blush::blush:

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15

Toss the bottle. Pour it down the sink. Drinking a pint of vodka with no tolerance to it will kill you.

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16

Liquor is a really bad combo with meds.
It’s so potent and will just make you more depressed in the end.
Not to mention your liver hates it.
It’s already trying to process medication, it doesn’t need poisoning on top of that.

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17

Tired, I poured it out, I’m sorry to be a bother, thank you everyone, I’m worried they’ll never stop testing me

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18

Awesome good for you. Don’t need to apologize. :rabbit2::rabbit2::rabbit2:

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19

Can anyone answer why they do this to me? Why does it have to be me? I’m not even sure any of you are real

20

You did the right thing getting rid of that. Are there any AA meetings that you might be able to attend ? Something to think about anyway.

On the medical side I’d let your psychiatrist know that you’re having all these thoughts.

Well done on your decision. :trophy:

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