I don’t like myself sometimes. TW alcohol

2 liters Of processed hand sanitizer, I’m guessing I made a 92% shine. The chemist in me is raging, but the drunk in me is satisfied.

Been a week or so without anyone catching on, I don’t like myself sometimes.

Dumped the bottle, can’t handle any more. The booze goblin is screaming for more.

Just being honest. A BS in chemical engineering, and a stupid drunk, the perfect combination.

sigh thank you and good morning.

I’m sorry….



Ah geez. That doesn’t sound good. I’m sorry.

I couldn’t quit booze on my own. I had to get help. Maybe it’s time to reach out.


Slip-ups happen. Relapse is a part of recovery. Just get back on that soba wagon and YOURE good

I couldn’t for the life of me understand why people choose alcohol to relapse with. Over some other (unnamed) substances. But to eaches own my good dear sir. I guess they don’t know any better (or worse…more like equivalent….nah better).

Lol and good luck with your path

Love your posts. Keep the updates coming if you like :+1:!! We’re here for you!!


Im been in between MFT’s, have an appointment with one who specializes in addiction and psychosis. Need to get on it. Make moves towards a good place.

Thank you E.H.


I’m sorry, llama friend. Can you substitute with a different “drink”? I mean, I know alcohol has a certain affect on you, but is there a really yummy SAFE drink that you can consume, instead? Like, to put in it’s place? That way, you’re still drinking something, but it’s not harmful.

I like Zevia sodas. They’re really yummy. I also like coffee. And Gatorade Zero. I drink those things a lot.

Is there something like that that you can get some satisfaction from? Just a flavor satisfaction and not a mind altering satisfaction?

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Soda stream, and tea.

I’m sober this morning, but hurting.

Sometimes I don’t like that I’m precarious.

Thank you kitty.

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It’s time to get another therapist, I had three years sober and messed up. Haven’t seen one since COVID started.

You’re right, it’s time for another one.

Thank you dude.


Thank you dude.

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We’re here for you, Llama. :llama:

Can you do something to try and take your mind off of it? Like a shower with music playing, or a walk while listening to music, or something else like that?

Just throwing out ideas. I hope you feel more at peace soon.

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I’m doing well enough to tattle on myself, and I’ve got my dog. I’m not in a bad place, just hurting from the past few nights.

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Be safe kitty.


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Sorry you’re feeling bad, @Ooorgle.

I use cannabis to stay way from my drug of choice,

It super helps me,

But I can’t recommend it for others.

I hope you start liking yourself again soon.

You’re a good guy and your insight has helped a lot of people on this forum.

We all screw up, but you can’t hate yourself for it,

Just have to move forward with some better coping skills,

Like restarting therapy like others have mentioned.

Thank you Mr. Gabel, It’s just a risk of mine. I’m off the booze.

Between you and I, I vape THC every day, it helps me in low concentrations. I agree with you that a percentage of SZ can smoke it.

Tbh it helps me deal with RL.

Just another day. Lol, thank you Mr. Gabel.


Can I ask what your DOC (drug of choice) is if you don’t mind??

Mine was alcohol for the longest time

Can attest cannabis helps me here too but maybe I Shouldn’t mention it here

Now it’s all naltrexone though which helps but, cannabis definitely helps too

Oh and today is cannabis night for me I’m so excited :laughing: lol

Hallucinogen’s and opioids.

The lsd taught me how to handle the positives, heroin made me numb too deal with the positives.

I self medicated for years, heroin, lsd, dmt, molly. You name it and I was doing it.

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Careful, @Jonnybegood, we wouldn’t want Llama’s thread to get locked. Just saying.

Just worried. Don’t want to cross any rules.

It’s cool, I’m asking for help, and venting my truth with reverence for positive responses.

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Lots and lots of opioids.

Went to rehab for it, but it didn’t help.

I quit on my own about a year afterwards.

But I thought about using everyday until I got pregnant.

Really changed my brain.

I valued myself more and didn’t think about them constantly anymore.

Now I just keep pretty stoned to keep myself entertained and away from temptation.


Okie dokie. Just looking out for your support thread, is all. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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I used to crave opioids too. Despite never doing them. Never even thought about it since naltrexone though. Helped a great deal with my alcoholism too. It’s certainly an option if you’re truly struggling and the docs willing to prescribe, just something to think about

Hallucinogens are a bit easier to get off of then depressants and stimulants in my experience

You CAN get addicted. But many report anti-addictive properties

Someone (a therapist) once said to my group “a bad trip causes people to wanna drink More not less. But a good trip may help with addiction”.

She wasn’t a advocate but she definitely did like me :+1:

Ps there’s probably no science on her theory but it resonated with me a bit