Advice on therapy

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Hi ! I made a post a while ago (a year now) asking tips on what I should do. Well, I’m back, and always more unwell than ever ! After people told me to get a diagnosis, I saw psychiatrists, I thought I’d have a better chance at diagnosis than psychologists and maybe if needed appropriate therapy and medication.

Atm I’m in therapy with a psychiatrist, who is going to treat me for spd. Which is okay, I guess, since apparently I have spd, but I have had no diagnosis whatsoever. I think that mental health professionals take my case and sufferings lightly. (I mean, another psychiatrist I saw told me I couldn’t be schizophrenic-which I suggested since my cousin is and we’re very similar in our delusions- since if apparently if I were, I would’ve ‘taken a gun and shot a the voice since you wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference’. Is that true???)

Meanwhile, the voices in my head have gotten stronger, and now dictate my life. I cannot eat, shower, go to the toilets on my own. I run to school and back home, I frequently have panic attacks and talk to the voices, telling them to shut up. My head constantly hurts, I cannot concentrate, take decisions, but i cannot stop thinking about my worst fears. My grades have been sorely affected : I’m in a competitive school and I went from 10th out of 174 to 60th. I’m on spring break, one week has gone by, and I have done nothing productive except cry. I cannot sleep, I cannot not sleep, I’m stuck in a limbo where I’m scared to live and scared to die. My bae is super worried, and works extra hard to cheer me up and get me to do things,… But most of the time I just lay in bed and cry, and when I try to do something the voices scream in my head not to, they make all my body hurt until I go back to bed and cry myself to numbness. Bae tries to make the voices stop, and most of the time, he manages, but we’ve just went through a tough time (between school and mhealth pros) and I think I’ve just…broken. Given up. It’s been getting worse for 3 weeks. I can’t enjoy any of the things that gave me joy. I don’t have sex, I can barely watch 2 animated series, only if I pause the episodes, I feel no enjoyment listening to music, food makes me want to puke, hobbies and work leave me dispassionate, I don’t read, I only play games because my bae wants to. The last real joy I have is interacting with people.

What am I even supposed to do ? I don’t even have the energy to restructure this post, my head just burns.
So this how I feel.
Now, I don’t see how this can get much worse, except I’m pretty sure it can if I don’t do anything.
What do I do ?
I have an appointment monday. Do I try to talk to the psychiatrist ? And if I do, what do I tell her ? My bae suggests going for ‘depression’ because my mental health has obviously gotten me depressed. I’m scared that if I get help for that, my other problems (epecially the voices) will continue to be ignored. How do I get the point across ? Because I need to do it quickly and efficiently or the voices take back control to prevent anything that threatens them, or anything that could make me feel good. No one ever listens. I’m at the point where I’m considering trashing her office to get attention. I AM FED UP with people telling me that I ‘don’t necessarily have a mental illness, and honey why do you want a diagnosis’ because I swear I think I can’t do this much longer. I’m done. So freaking done.

Thanks to anybody who takes the time read and answer this !

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is difficult. I hope you get out and can still build a reasonable life. I can not give you advice because I have no experience with that level of psychiatric problems. Sorry

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You don’t need a diagnosis, but what does your psychiatrist say about your voices, aren’t they interested in treating your symptoms?

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I think it’s important you tell the psych about your voices and how much they impact your life.
Make sure the psych knows that you’re not fishing for a diagnosis, but that you need help and it has to be now.
Describe all your symptoms, and don’t be afraid to cry or get emotional.

I’m sorry you’re going through these things, it sounds really hard.

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Thanks anyway :slight_smile: It seems to be the general opinion even of my therapists so I don’t blame you, and I do hope it gets better…

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Voices usually indicate some problems for psydocs. I’d say be honest and tell them how that is interfering with function.

Therapy is usually an adjunct to medications. It can help some people but most people with schizophrenia need meds. I’d suggest you point out how your losing function because of voices.

Go from there.

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No, and most of the psychs I’ve seen don’t seem to care. The only one that let me speak long enough that I managed to tell them in great detail a psychotic epsiode referred me immediately telling me I needed ‘appropriate help’. That was 2 years ago. I’ve repeatedly tried to tell the current one about it but they don’t let me speak long enough, they keep interrupting me and after the third time being ignored and voices screaming I let it drop. I wrote her a mail before the first session, and she read it, and she told me ‘so you have hallucinations’ and I was so happy I went YES! THAT! PLEASE! LISTEN! Aaaand she changed the subject, never to speak of it again. :confused:

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I read everything you have to say. I think you are a really nice person. And you really care about yourself. What do you think can be done to manage your symptoms better?

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Okay, I’ll try. It is hard when the person in front of you is intent on ignoring you. And also to @zeno , it’s hard to stay calm when I know I could benefit from a diagnosis. Maybe not go to my school and go ‘here, LOOK!’ but at least have something I could use to explain why I’m absent, because a regular doctor won’t, and we are also graded on our capacity to go to class. There are exceptions for people who have problems, but I can’t benefit from that as a result I have to work twice as hard, with half capacity which is probably why I’m spent right now. But thank for the support, it means a lot! :slight_smile:

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(your username is epic sorry this unrelated) Okay. Idk if it’s schizophrenia, but seeing the amount of therapy I’ve gone through it definitely can’t go away like that. I’ve already tried telling her that going and coming back from school gave me panic attacks, but she only seemed to care about the fact I still went. Maybe I need to be more insistent. I think most are reluctant to believe me because of their own stigma and the fact I seem totally in control (which is absolutely false).

@anon1571434 (ah I forgot there was the group reply function)
Thank you, it means a lot :slight_smile: I have no clue, otherwise I’d be a far better adjusted person. I used to cope only by powering through and using my voices to make me do stuff (aka they’re mean but they don’t want to disappear) also indulging a lot, but nothing works anymore. I don’t care about myself per se, but I know people who do :slight_smile:

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For schizophrenia and a lot of the psychotic disorders therapy isn’t too much to hang a hat upon. Medications make more of a difference if it’s voices. Voices are positives but it’s certainly easy to present well to shrinks and stuff. Personally I wouldn’t put too much faith in a therapist for diagnosis. Psychiatrists see a lot of shite and they are more capable in my opinion.

It’s all about function. If your not living properly and having problems you need to find out why. Especially with voices or command hallucinations and stuff. It is complicated and it is an industry under economic pressure but you do what you need to do!

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Thanks!

Sorry if I wasn’t clear, the one I’m seeing right now is a psychiatrist. I’ve seen a total of 3, who’ve been ‘I don’t have time for you you’re too much of a mess’, one who was ‘okay, take this referral’ and the current one.

Yes. I don’t really know what that is anymore, but I’ll try my best.

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I know a person who recovered by treating their voices kindly. Maybe they are tired? Can you give them and yourself a break?

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Nope. When I say voices, it’s pretty broad. Some are nice, some are neutral, some are childlike bullies. The bullies are not, never, ever nice. I can manipulate them, and that’s the extent of what I can do. My bae tries to be nice with them and they do not like it at all. It’s like part of my brain rotted away/corrupted? And sure we’re tired, but I can never take a break. We have a lot of work, and I’m behind on everything. There’s an online course and I have to hand in papers today. There’s the bills, that kind of stuff…If I don’t my family is going to tell me off/pity me. They’re my main source of income since I’m a student, I can’t afford to lose their favour. And on my breaks the bullies won’t let me relax soo… Yeah not an ideal time, we’re not exactly in a world that allows people like me to be tired. Thanks for the suggestion though. :upside_down_face:

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Sounds like you have a lot of responsibility.

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What kind of therapy are you currently doing?

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Aha yes! This is getting a bit off topic, but I could also add I’m responsible for my younger sibling who, probably due to being pretty intelligent, is easily lost, bored or depressed? And my parents won’t take care of him, so I do, but it’s tough. I’m in a place where I can’t afford to fail, but if it continues this way it’s going to be inevitable lol

@Noise Right now? I don’t really know. If I’ve gotten it right, I’m supposed to start hypnosis to help with sensory processing disorder. I say I don’t really know because I need things to be very straightforwards or I get lost or overwhelmed very fast and the mental health pros are never straightforward. In the past… I don’t know with certitude either, but from what I’ve read I’ve had psychotherapies, CBT and counselling.

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Quite honestly if I were you I’d switch therapists. Cause this one obviously doesn’t communicate with you. And genuinely doesn’t seem to take you seriously at all. Especially with your life being disrupted as much as it is.

You said you’ve been talked over and not allowed to explain yourself which is very shitty of this so called professional.

You need someone who’s going to take you seriously.

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Okay. It’s so hard to get appointments though… Between each therapist I have to wait at least 3 months with no support. (As I said, I tried seeing psychiatrists after my last post, that was a year ago). All professionals I’ve seen have talked over me. 7 of them. One in the bunch listened, after 2 years of going nowhere (I’m not complaining, being able to vent did help and it was free). I don’t know who will take me seriously at that point, which is probably why I’m so depressed. I suppose it’s hard for them too because I have a bunch of issues that don’t act up at the same frequencies (trauma, voices, sensory issues, social issues…).
In my experience they’re all shitty though :’)

I was admitted to the ER once, left for 4 hours on my own, and after my parents complained they released me with a ‘we did the bloodtests, despite him raving he’s fine bye!’

…A friend recommended one, the waiting list is long, but I can always continue seeing the current, try to make her listen (at least I’ll not be totally unsupported) and book an appointment with the other one? And ditch her once I see the other one if they’re better I guess.

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This sounds like a good idea. I hope the one your friend recommends helps you!!

I know it’s easy to get discouraged but once you find a good one that’s when things will really be able to get better!!

I myself went through 13 different therapists before I found one that met my needs. You just gotta keep on trying. And eventually you’ll get there!

We’re here to support you too in any way you need!!

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