Schizophrenia.com

Accidentally Told My Sister Some Personal Things (Long)

I was playing Monopoly with my sister, last night. I was in a weird mood all day, and I got stuck in my other brain. When I’m in my other brain, it’s the same as if I just had a lot of pot or alcohol. I get weird and someties hullucinate.
Well, I was being really weird, loud, laughing too much, talking really loud, fast and uncontrollably. She asked me why, and I just said, "I’m sorry, I’m just stuck in my other brain right now. I feel really f%#king weird and I’m kind of tripping out right now!“
She was really confused, so I explained a little.
I told her about the voices, how I often get stuck on my other brain, about my invisible friends, Whit the tree man, who’s face is like God and the other demon-like unamed man.
I tol her about some of my hullucinations like the time I went inside a Christmas light and it was warm and nice and I fell asleep in there. About the time that I went to my brother’s house (that I have never actually even seen before) and made breakfast oatmeal with my friends.
I probably told her so much more that I don’t remember. I was talking really fast, the whole time and trying to stop myself, but couldn’t. I don’t know if she even understood most of what I was saying.I really didn’t want her to know all of that, and now I hate myself for it. I try to keep my mental issues a secret from my family, especially.
She said to me, " Man, you even crazier than Angie (my brother’s Bipolar gf)! You need to go to a f#%cking doctor! I’m going to get you a number.” Then I told her why I can’t see a doctor, why they don’t help me that I’m not crazy and she just said nothing.
Now I’m afraid if what she’ll do. I wish I never said anything, but I couldn’t control it. I feel terrible and can’t stop thinking about it, today. I’m scared she’s going to be afraid of me, or try and have me locked up or convince me I’m crazy.
I’m afraid to talk to her today.

hah bipolar folks… what a trip. The softer insanity.

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First of all, the family category is for family members, not for us to post about family issues, it’s a common mistake no worries.

Second, I think you do need help and it’s a good thing you told your sister, maybe you’ll get the help you need. I know you don’t like the crazy label, but it’s better to get treated than to live as a crazy person and deserving of the label.

Third, you’re lucky you’re not in some third world country where we would be treated lower than trash and you are able to have a family that is there for you if you need it.

And you need it.
Rant over.

Lol
I have seen her have her have episodes though, I don’t think people realize how serious they actually are.

I changed the category.

I was hospitalized before. Did no help, if anything, made things worse. Not going there again…
I left my pdoc and therapist for good reason, trust me.

No I know its a real condition. I hang out/talk to three or so BP people… they don’t have a clue though what SZ is like. It’d just be funny though to give them a glimpse.

Yeah, it’s entirely different. Hard for an outsider to grasp, unless they’ve experienced it themsleves.

I know one girl who champs it… is totally normal for most of the time.

Then the rest are all highly dependent on substances/alcohol and basically cry every other time I’m tlaking with them…

Nonsense. It hurts that bad to be inside your brain eh? Yeah fucken right. At least your thoughts are your own. At least you can interact with people without thinking they are reading your mind and what not.

■■■■ both of the illness though. I’m almost recovered from this crap. Maybe another year.

Well, she’s been sober for a year now. She’s actually doing really well.

And I know, the struggle is much different! Impossible to function, sometimes I just want to rip out my brain.
Glad you’re doing well.

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Thanks bunny. Goddamned telekawhatsit powers aint got ■■■■ on me HAR HAR…

But yeah maybe some people have it worse than the others.

The girl who handles it the best is purdy fucken amazing. I’m glad she is BP otherwise she might have never wanted anything to do with me. That said I’m glad she can manage it so well or has a more mild case of it that she isn’t like the other girls I know who have it.

Constant body image issues and crap like that. Daddy/Mommy issues. Money issues…

It’s like GD you’re in a hole alright. Start climbing the ■■■■ out of it or you’re always going to feel that way.

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Well, you have to undertlstand how hard it really is for some people to start “climbing out of it”.

I know it’s tough… I have SZ… it is possible though.

My metaphor for my psychosis is like falling into a psychotic well… you can grip the stones and start climbing out, but the entire human species seems to be waiting with pitch forks and snide words to push you back into the prison/well of psychotic dimentia.

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Well, lose weight, quit drinking, save money… in whatever order…

The girl I’m specifically talking about wound up giving me her credit card to keep her from spending it/…

She’s making progress, but her life style is crap. Alcoholism runs her every day.

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I like your metaphor.

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That’s very sad to hear. I hope she gets better.

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You’re a sweet and rational person bunny.

She’ll figure it out sometime. I can kind of see into her madness but its all just really “pathetic” and “girly” stuff that I can’t relate too.

That’s not my story nor right to tell it.

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Well, it seems like you really care. She’s lucky to have you.

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It does tend to be difficult for some. But once you start finding alternatives to you problems (assuming you know what they are) it becomes a matter of just doing it.

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