Sounds like your mom is self centered and doesn’t express unconditional love. Sounds like she only loves you if you do what she approves. I understand your mom flipping out. Most people don’t want to be judged. When you judge others they retaliate by judging back as a defense mechanism. Your mom sounds like she has immature coping mechanisms. Part of being an adult is having healthy coping mechanisms. I don’t know the full scheme of things only what you write about so I might be partially right. Most people drink because they have immature coping mechanisms. Your mom might always be defensive with you because you might be a constant reminder of what she is not. You hang in there. Life is a marathon don’t be scared to be alone. Time flies. It goes quicker the older you get. Part of growing up is learning how to be content with your own company and not spending money constantly trying to buy happiness. Good things.
I think you have to accept the fact that your mom is controlling and unsupportive, so when she says that you’re a failure it’s a reflection of her, not you.
I am sorry you are going through this
Since Covid I have noticed that a lot of people are being horrible to their own family members
so sorry things have gone that far in your situation
If you want to keep contact maybe do it in neutral places like coffee shops
I’m sorry you are having such a hard time with your family @anon92236671
I would cut ties for a few months if you can and take a time out from the chaos and drama for a while.
Reassess the situation in a couple of months.
I know from experience what parent does when he’s drunk.. I only want to say do your work and endure.
Once you reach your dreams,all will be good. One thing I never would allow my parent is blackmail me by sending me to mental institution…
sorry to hear that.. sounds like a tough ordeal. you doing ok now?
Yeah I think you should go no contact for awhile.
id agree.. idk if your parents are abusive like..i know disagreements happen and stuff and ultimately its an argument but.. either way it doesnt seem healthy for you to endure such insults and put downs, especially if they get into your mind and bother you.
That is really sad that she is unable to see a daughter who loves her and would let her superficial priorities ruin a loving family. Some day when it’s too late, she’ll probably regret it.
@anon92236671 for all you shared about your life. I see you in a victory now. I’m really proud of you and inspired by you. Everything you mentioned is so true to me and makes sense to me.
At this moment, I’m praising myself in my mind. Not everyone would have made it this far! And I didn’t even become an addict (even though my brother really tried to drag me that way, and the environment pushed me toward it too). I’ve found myself, and at 25, I’m fully independent — living alone, strong, receptive… Maybe a future doctor! Yes, all this experience has taught me to defend myself, to create stories in my mind that don’t always come true (a kind of distrust). I’m very strong — but, sadly, sometimes as lonely as a finger. @Trooper 
For me love keeps me from feeling lonely. I think I do have a love for myself. I think I am loved by my God. I am loved by others. I love doing my hobbies. But yes I have loneliness. And with my loneliness I find myself and I find out why I’m feeling lonely. A lot of it is because I’m a competitive person. But if I’m not finding the love from others that I desire and the mercy and compassion. Then I find a way to provide it for myself. I have a relationship with my God. When I’m lonely I’m not suicidal I’m not really suffering deeply. But I still think healthily. What is healthy for me internally and physically. The more I’m lonely I find myself focusing on what I consider healthy for me. What’s healthy for my faith. In my Outlook on the rest of my life and the time when it comes and how it comes when I die. I like to think deeply. I’m not complaining and people tell me to get married saying I’ll be happy telling me like I’m not happy. I mean if I die now I’m very happy with myself. I’m very impressed with how I reason about my life. If being lonely means keeping the healthy love I have towards myself I’m fine with it. But if having friends and companions expands the healthy love in my life then I am very welcome to it. But I have found a love for myself that I am still lonely in a way with but it is very preserving to my values and my faith in my reasoning. People tell me they don’t want to see me lonely because they love me and just throw marriage at me every opportunity they can. But there’s a relationship I’m looking for and I know it’s out there. And it does have the deal with love. I mean for me life’s already easy enough to deal with and make it through. But the relationship I’m looking for his mutual and I also wonder what I would offer somebody else as a friend or a companion. This is just me personally. And it’s like I got so much relationship with myself and my faith that I’ve developed I’ve got a lot to lose to commit to a marriage or something. I mean how would it benefit both of us mutually. And make our lives better in all ways and even easier in all ways and to a point where we’re not lonely in any way. I mean I could go on reasoning with myself about this what is loneliness.
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