Makes me torture myself with self hatred and mean words to lower my self-image to make the neurotypicals happy. I do things like burning my graduation pictures or punching a hole on my photos of my face.
I believe by doing so I can prove the neurotypicals that I’m not dangerous and by doing so my pain will give them some satisfaction. I feel like they take joy in stigma.
I’m a little triggered right now so I’m currently suffering a lot right now. I’ve got an exam tomorrow and I’m not studying well enough.
I feel like all the achievements and good grades I made after my recovery is nonexistent because I have psychosis. It will never be good enough.
I just wanna crawl out of my skin. I feel so ashamed.