So I’m vacuuming the gym and this really cute girl comes in. About 23 or 24 years old. I don’t want to stare but she was wearing skin tight sweats and a little t-shirt. So I looked a little and then IDK what happened but she was kind of stretching to warm up and man, she started acting real sexy. Showing off her body and me and her were the only ones in the gym.
After a few minutes it stopped and I’m thinking how lucky I was. I mean these women soldiers aren’t innocent kids. Almost all of them are married and have a rug rat or two. But I was thankful for the show and I let her alone. I knew what to do, I should have just vacuuming and let her work out. Then she started putting big weights on a bar and I knew I should have kept my mouth shut and be thankful for the little show at my age.
But I opened my big mouth and laughed and said. “You’re going to lift all that?”. I knew I blew it and she just acted like I wasn’t there. So I repeated it and got the cold shoulder. Things were cool until I opened my big mouth. A rookie mistake. You don’t talk to girls after something like that, it might embarrass them or spoil the mood, I knew better.
Women wear the tight spandex stuff to move freely. It helps. I went from wearing leggings and a huge t-shirt to spandex leggings and tank top because I could move better.
Women can’t seem to do anything without it being considered a tease.
I used to get accused of being a tease or a flirt all the time back when I looked like a woman. Since I was age 12, which is just gross to think about. Now that I look like a boy, nobody ever accuses me of that, even though I act exactly the same.
I left a friend because he was a pervert everywhere and kept talking to me about prostitutes. His dad was a pervert too and talked to me about prostitutes when I was 14 y.o. Glad that I don’t have them in my life anymore. Made better and smarter friends.
Well, you’re usually a fair person. How do you figure I harassed her? All I did was check out a grown woman who was showing off and then I asked her an innocent question.
If anything, she harassed my eyes! (but I’m not complaining).
You know @anon4362788, if you’re going to leap on every iota or bit of mistreatment of woman, then could you do it fairly and not come across as belligerent towards men? Women sticking up for women is great, I have two great sisters and loved my mom. And they are successful and independent and don’t let themselves get pushed around or mistreated which is good. But they don’t make a big deal about it. I’m not saying women shouldn’t be treat equally and fairly or stick up for themselves and other women. Woman like to tease, and why not? They may be proud of their bodies and may throw a little charity to the old janitor by showing off. What did I do wrong?
I know that is how it appears to you. You almost never say things to the pretty girls you see. You figured, it’s just one time, what could it hurt? You were trying to be friendly. But I have been the pretty girl in the gym. I actually had to stop going to a traditional gym specifically because of the sheer number of guys who would make comments like that. It was only one time for you. For her, it may have been her tenth comment that day. Women, especially conventionally attractive women, are always aware when there is a man watching them. Especially when the room is completely empty except the two of you. By making the comment, you brought that awareness into sharp relief.
You say she was being intentionally sexy. But I wonder if you would have thought the same thing had she been a woman you weren’t personally attracted to. It is good form to stretch out before a workout. It is easier to work out in tight clothes, because they support our curvier bodies better and don’t snag on things. She clearly went at a time when she thought nobody else would be there. I can almost guarantee she did that on purpose because she didn’t want anyone staring at her as she worked out. It is very hard to work out in a co-ed gym as a woman without being stared at.
As for the content of what you said, I know you meant it as a way to show that you were impressed. But, without the context of knowing you, it could have easily been interpreted as you scoffing at the idea that a woman is capable of lifting heavy weights. Which is something a military woman has likely been told her whole life by random men. Heck, we have even seen people say women don’t belong in the military on this site. The person got suspended for it, but that should tell you how prevalent that mindset is, and why this woman may have interpreted your comment in this way.
It’s actually kind of a paradox I have noticed. When a thin, young woman wears tight clothes, she is called a tease, and if she doesn’t graciously accept all comments, she is called a stuck up ■■■■■. She is said to be inviting such comments. When a fat or older woman wears the same clothes, she is called revolting and told to cover up because “nobody wants to see that.” And yet, almost all female workout clothes are tight. So women can either be called a tease, be called revolting, or choose to shop exclusively in the men’s section.
I can see both sides of the argument. But I personally think this is being blown way out of proportion based on the comments he made. Like he said it probably was a “bone head move.” but he didn’t mean anything by it and I think he’s taking a little bit too much grief for an offhand remark. He said something and probably made them both uncomfortable.
The fact that you saw this woman stretching in the gym and interpreted it as not only a sexy show intended just for you but also an invitation for engagement is problematic.
You were ogling her while she was trying to work out. I’m sure she was well aware and it’s the reason why she ignored your comments. If you were making her feel uncomfortable, she could complain to management. I would watch out in situations like these and be more mindful.
All he said was “Youre gonna lift all that?” How is that harrassment? Maybe his thinking was a little off. I doubt she was showing off just for him but all he did was say a simple five word sentence.