I can figure out stuff sometimes. Just give me a week or preferrably ten years and I can figure out what was REALLY going on

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I wrote last week about the sexy woman soldier at work who made me feel terrible about myself. I was emptying her wastebasket last week and she picked up on something about me (that was about her) and she just stared at me and used her beauty (in my opinion) to make me feel bad. I thought it was a shame because I actually liked her and I had nothing against her and I think she’s nice and I thought we were on good terms.

I’ll be blunt. I thought it was a sexual or sex related issue. She’s gorgeous and about once a month she does the whole army reserve base a huge favor by dressing in sexy dresses and fixing her hair and making herself up really nice. I think she’s only 27 or 28 so I have to be careful on those days about staring, lol. (I’m 56) But I definitely look.

But last week I thought I had offended her somehow by maybe checking her out. And I definitely do check her out. But I thought I might have been unknowingly rude or too obvious about it and offended her about it. I work alone a lot and sometimes while I’m vacuuming empty hallways or large rooms my mind wanders and I think how nice she looked today or how nice a few of the other women looked today or something. And to paraphrase Bruce Springsteen, “You can’t kill someone because of the thoughts in their head”. (in most cases).

But today, it dawned on me that the whole issue might have been about maybe I was acting like I could kick her ass. It sounds like a stupid thing or a stupid way to say it maybe because she’s a beautiful woman, but at work three days a week when I’m working if I don’t put out a little aggression both the men AND the woman soldiers (who’s job description is learning how to kill by the way) will over run me like a steam roller no matter how friendly I am. These are the facts.

But I am actually hugely relieved to figure out that it was a physical problem and not a sex thing. I can handle people wanting to beat me up. I can understand that. But I definitely don’t want ANY woman looking at me like a creep no matter how old I get. And, usually it doesn’t happen, thank god.

I have no plans or schemes (for the most part, lol) for bedding any woman. I have no plans.
But you know what I do have? I have EYES. And there’s no charge for using them to look. So the problem is over. I want to be comfortable at my job and not cause too many people to dislike me.

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How did she use her beauty to make you feel bad? It seems like you put a lot of thought into this.

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Well, it happened last week and I don’t sit around thinking about it. It was just that I was reading a post ten minutes ago that made me see the situation clearer. And I’ve semi-known this woman for almost three years now. I do analyze stuff too much sometimes though.

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Ahh so you didn’t think about it until a post reminded you of it.

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It might have crossed my mind but yeah, basically, the post made me think of it.

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Women are more perceptive than men. And I would assume in the military that sky rockets. I would not let her think she’s cool or tough or whatever by acting like that. It just shows her weaknesses (being whatever it is she picked up on from you about her)

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Ah, you and @Azley are giving away tips on women for free. I will not let you guys down.

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@77nick77 In my opinion, what makes someone ‘creepy’ is lying, deceiving, manipulating, and hurting or bullying. Both men and women, especially when someone is vulnerable, it is stupid but people do it.

Just ignore and avoid people who trigger your issues. She is probably used to men looking at her. It is not nice though.
I have caught a bunch of men starring at my friends, me etc, etc. But not at work in any way.

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