2 weeks of hell are over

[Leaf]

My daughter stole money from me. It’s not the first time. We’ve been struggling with her stealing habit for years and she’s had lots of consequences thrown her way over it. Including juvenile detention. But nothing seems to teach her a lesson. This time it was in such a manner that I felt that my bank account was actually unsafe because she got into my paypal and stole $20. But she didn’t send the money to herself and denies knowing the person she sent it to. She wouldn’t admit to it. I told her she wasn’t welcomed in my house until she admitted it and went into counseling for this stealing problem.

Since this ultimatum she has sent me nasty facebook messages highlighting all MY short comings as a parent and a human in general. She made outlandish claims of abuse by people who were barely in her life let alone ever being left alone with her. She has squirmed and wiggled and done everything to place blame on other people rather than just admit she has a problem.

It has been a living hell not knowing when I would get to see her or my granddaughter. I have devoted all my time in therapy to just handling the stress that this has been putting on me to finally stand up to her and give her a real consequence while all the time reassuring her that she is worthy of my love but not my trust. My family has been giving their time and effort into supporting me and helping to keep me strong in my resolve. It’s honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

Today my daughter stopped by outside to pick something up but I had to get help with something somewhat urgently in the house, afterwards I thanked her but told her I was sorry that she would have to leave. To my total surprise she admitted to the theft and has agreed to go to counseling with me. She said she just missed me so much. I never thought I would win this battle, not once. I thought my daughter would never be welcome in my home again. I was feeling sad for the holidays. But it looks like Christmas came early.

Now we have to get down to the hard work of rewiring that brain of hers into not taking what doesn’t belong to her since she never learned that as a child.

[anon39009011]

it takes time but is well worth it.

i wish i had a parent that was on top if it like you are.

i was stealing $20 every 2 or 3 days from parents growing up in high school, they didn’t catch on for a long time as they thought it was another child, their faulty memory or something else. even then i just got warnings but i shortly stopped on my own. i didn’t want to be that kind of person.

i came to learn on my own it was my brain trying to tell itself i was wanting a way to make money but my condition wasn’t interpreting it right. this might not be the case for you and yours but just relating it’s as much trouble on the child as it is for the adult sometimes.

nipping it in the bud like you did has done both of you a big favor.

[Leaf]

Thank you for saying that. Everyone kept telling me that I’m doing what’s best for her. It’s hard when you feel like you’re hurting your child even though in the long run it benefits them.

[Mountainman]

Glad some progress has been made, we all have to set boundries and demand respect from those around us, friends or family, even if it means cutting them off till they can do that. Keep up the good work

[anon39009011]

your most welcome.

i’m no parent and never will be but kids aint easy. no rule or guide book for getting those lil people on track to be better bigger people.

hat’s off to you.

[jukebox]

I am so happy for you and your daughter !! yayyy…

[FatMama]

I’m glad your daughter sees the problem. I hope you and her can work through this and you can set boundaries.

[Wave]

It’s a good start @Leaf.
I wish you all the best.

[VanDam]

Good relations between parents and children are indeed a blessing. May it stay that way for you!

[disciple]

That’s good news @Leaf! Glad to hear things are going well for you and your daughter.