I took a flight from Miami to Brussels.
There are many reasons why I left America, but I think I made a right choice.
Stop thinking about the past man!
I started writing my diary entries in Feb 1999 when I was in America, but I stopped recently. I do think about the future too. Maybe I should write a book about my experiences in the past 22 years.
Or perhaps you need to start doing new things. You can write a book when you reach your pension.
I want to leave America one day
Where would you like to go?
I have tens of paper notebooks that I have written. There could be good stories about my life in my auto in America.
Well keep them for old age. Now your mission is to think about the present and how you are going to experience new things.
I haven’t decided. Maybe canada
Every day I experience new things. Since returning from America over 50 people whom I have known have died. Some people have committed suicide, some have had cancer, some have died because they have consumed too much alcohol and so on. But still I experience new things every day.
I meant getting experience from taking some kind of personal action.
People that die, that’s not in our control.
I can speak for myself. I had my psychosis which made me lose everything in the most humiliating way. At that time, I had to bury both of my grandfathers and I wasn’t present at all at the funeral. I mean I was there but not mentally. I still am angry that I couldn’t say goodbye. My x gf treated me like ■■■■ when we broke up. I have been behaving in the most weird ways. People pass me in the street and say, “there is that mentally ill guy. There’s that psycho etc.” I lost my studies. I mean, my biggest dream was to study. I loved being in school. Now I can’t focus at all.
What I’m trying to say is stop dwelling in the past. And let go of the fact that people have died. I understand if you are depressed about it. But you are not too old to say life has ended. Try to live.
Life goes on. Once I cut my wrist with a razor blade, but I survived. Now looking back I can say I am happy I survived. Once we had a social gathering with one young man and he seemed very peaceful and calm, but next day he had committed suicide. I am happy that I live.
I had shipped my auto one month earlier to Antwerp Belgium, but when I was in Brussels I had to reship it to Helsinki. I was happy to reunite with my car later in May 2002. In my car I had my desktop that contained all the information I had collected in the USA. I still have this computer with me.
I left USA 8 years ago. I regret ever moving there in the first place.
There were good times when I lived in America. I travelled a lot and visited different nations. After my divorce I lived over two years in my auto, mostly in Miami, but also elsewhere. I have many good memories.
I would leave but I can’t take my doctor with me
Sorry to hear you tried to commit suicide but glad you are glad to still be alive.
Good you don’t regret moving.
You enjoy your bike rides in beautiful nature.
I used to ride my bike everywhere before I got my license and changed location.
Do you have anyone to hang out with or are you alone most of the time?
I see often people when I ride my bicycle. But I do like to be alone and so I am not feeling lonely. I often see also people when I go to the grocery store. I do not regret moving.
You sound content and that is so very good.