19 years ago I left America

Lounge
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I took a flight from Miami to Brussels.

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There are many reasons why I left America, but I think I made a right choice.

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Stop thinking about the past man!

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I started writing my diary entries in Feb 1999 when I was in America, but I stopped recently. I do think about the future too. Maybe I should write a book about my experiences in the past 22 years.

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Or perhaps you need to start doing new things. You can write a book when you reach your pension.

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I want to leave America one day

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Where would you like to go?

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I have tens of paper notebooks that I have written. There could be good stories about my life in my auto in America.

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Well keep them for old age. Now your mission is to think about the present and how you are going to experience new things.

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I haven’t decided. Maybe canada

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Every day I experience new things. Since returning from America over 50 people whom I have known have died. Some people have committed suicide, some have had cancer, some have died because they have consumed too much alcohol and so on. But still I experience new things every day.

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I meant getting experience from taking some kind of personal action.

People that die, that’s not in our control.

I can speak for myself. I had my psychosis which made me lose everything in the most humiliating way. At that time, I had to bury both of my grandfathers and I wasn’t present at all at the funeral. I mean I was there but not mentally. I still am angry that I couldn’t say goodbye. My x gf treated me like ■■■■ when we broke up. I have been behaving in the most weird ways. People pass me in the street and say, “there is that mentally ill guy. There’s that psycho etc.” I lost my studies. I mean, my biggest dream was to study. I loved being in school. Now I can’t focus at all.

What I’m trying to say is stop dwelling in the past. And let go of the fact that people have died. I understand if you are depressed about it. But you are not too old to say life has ended. Try to live.

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Life goes on. Once I cut my wrist with a razor blade, but I survived. Now looking back I can say I am happy I survived. Once we had a social gathering with one young man and he seemed very peaceful and calm, but next day he had committed suicide. I am happy that I live.

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I had shipped my auto one month earlier to Antwerp Belgium, but when I was in Brussels I had to reship it to Helsinki. I was happy to reunite with my car later in May 2002. In my car I had my desktop that contained all the information I had collected in the USA. I still have this computer with me.

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I left USA 8 years ago. I regret ever moving there in the first place.

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There were good times when I lived in America. I travelled a lot and visited different nations. After my divorce I lived over two years in my auto, mostly in Miami, but also elsewhere. I have many good memories.

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I would leave but I can’t take my doctor with me

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Sorry to hear you tried to commit suicide but glad you are glad to still be alive.

Good you don’t regret moving.

Regret sucks.:slightly_smiling_face:

You enjoy your bike :bike: rides in beautiful nature.

I used to ride my bike everywhere before I got my license and changed location.

Do you have anyone to hang out with or are you alone most of the time?

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I see often people when I ride my bicycle. But I do like to be alone and so I am not feeling lonely. I often see also people when I go to the grocery store. I do not regret moving.

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You sound content and that is so very good.

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