I’ve been suicidal for the past 48 hours.
My life has no meaning.
Someone made a big mistake.
I guess if I can last another 48 hours, I might be ok.
I get like this every once in a while and it has been happening since the day after I took my first acid trip at the age of 15.
I’m afraid to leave the house because I want to go to my tree and hang from it. So, I’m just staying in my bedroom and hoping it will pass.
I hate these feelings.
I see a very dismal future and everything I believed in up to now has been a big mistake.
Every time I feel this way, I have to hold on and that’s what my life has been about, holding on.
One day I will presumably have to leave go. I don’t know when. But this has been going on for so many years that I’m pretty sure one day suicide will win.
And so will schizophrenia.
I’m sorry, I know how you feel. I wish I could do something but the only thing i can tell you is that it gets better. maybe try calling a suicide hotline.
Who says? Isn’t this an attribution? Isn’t this a judgment? Isn’t this a conclusion? Isn’t this just another thought that enters our minds?
Why is the The Whole Truth and Nothing But…?
Please. Get some CBT (see Cognitive behavioral therapy - Wikipedia).
And in line with @firemonkey 's comments elsewhere, I should add this: When I began to see all my thoughts as just thoughts – as just strings of words – passing through my mind like railroad cars full of ideas passing in front of my car at a train track crossing, I began to be able to break out of these moments of delusional and self-destructive thinking. No one else loads those words with emotions. I am the one who does that.
I can almost guarantee this: If you will look, listen and feel your way straight into the thoughts from outside the box of the supposed “reality” of them, the thoughts – and their emotional horsepower – will dissolve in time. This is totally research-verified reality in the operation of the neo-cortex and autonomic nervous system.
I learned to do exactly this after years of “talking myself into hell” with eleven hospitalizations and two suicide attempts from 1994-2003. I haven’t been a pt in psych ward ever since learning how to do this.
I agree. this helps alot.
notmoses, never say “please.” to someone in this situation. they could take it the wrong way…
Yes; I get that. (Now.)
We probably all face suicidal feelings at one time or another. And yes, it’s a fight we have to win. Many of us feel hopeless too. I have a part-time job I’ve been at for 4 years, I just moved into a room I’m renting from a young couple, my car is running good, and I’m sitting here drinking a Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper. But I’ve said this before: my life feels like it’s over about 5 times a day. Where it seems impossible to live and go on. But I keep going on because other people with my disease keep going on against all odds.
Don’t let the negativity and misery on here fool you. Some of us have been where you’re at but we keep going. A lot of us are doing interesting things like meeting girls/guys, going to school, socializing, working, etc. Nobody handed it to us, we either got lucky or got help but it took some effort on our part.
“When you’re going through hell, keep going”. Winston Churchill.
Acid triggered my disease when I was 19 I ended up in the psyche ward and a year later I spent 8 months in a locked psychiatric hospital. I suffered greatly and I was very scared to be in that hospital. I felt hopeless and screwed up but with the help of my family I am where I’m at today.
Even if you can’t do anything else at least try to reach out to someone in your life and make that connection. We all need people, you shouldn’t suffer alone. I am sorry you’re life is not the best but we all struggle. Some of us are luckier than others. Suffering isn’t permanent. Things change.
“Don’t quit ten minutes before the miracle happens”. An old AA saying.
I wish you good luck. And remember, people aren’t all bad.
CALL THE NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE
1 (800) 273-8255
They CAN help you. I’ve called them before. Go to your doctor, or heck ANY doctor if they are open once you get stable enough to go outside. This sounds like something that needs serious attention.
Please at least call. 
Please
Molto fab. 15 15 15
What does “molto fab” mean, notmoses???
Extremely fabulous. (And I clicked on the heart / like button, as well.)
I’m sorry for your struggles. I often feel this way but it eventually always dissipates over time. It’s part of being Schizo-affective I think I’m not quite sure what to say to make you feel better, I can tell you do this, do that…but you’ve probably heard these things in the past and have tried by this point in time. I could suggest therapy but that would take a long time to sink in and isn’t always an immediate solution…or affordable in some cases.
What I can tell you is everyone has a purpose in life. We may not always see our purpose, especially in desperate times but this is when we need to sit back and really think on what our lives mean. Think of everyone in our lives, and how we affect them even if it’s a small amount. You matter. Your life matters.
I don’t know what else to say and keep it sounding sincere.
last night my head was exploding…i wanted to suicide aswell.
if you are feeling that way please ring a crisis line, like i did.
i have been sz a long time, and it has its ups and downs, but you can have a life…make a life for yourself.
know someone cares . 
take care 
Been awhile since you posted. I’m hoping you’re asleep by now and will better in the morning. Please keep us informed with how you are.
consider a suicide hotline or going to the mental hospital. I got to a point about a year ago, or was it two years ago? That I had to go to a mental hospital because I wanted to commit suicide. I just got to the point where I really wanted to do it, and was just set on it. I thought about God being mad and about how it would hurt my family, and decided to get help. Even while I was going to the outpatient program and taking the subway to get to the hospital, I often thought about jumping out in front of the train. Just remember that life is short, and it won’t last forever, so you might as well live it.
Sorry to hear you were feeling suicidal darksith. But you must be feeling better now.
I hope those feelings pass for you. I fight those thoughts and feelings as much as I can.
The urges will pass. I have learned that myself that suicidal feelings seem to be impulse urge feelings that pass with time.
Hope you feel better