Not a good situation to be in. I’m ok now that I know her wish.
not a nice thing to say about anybody
She didn’t say it. She just hated me and herself. It was the reason I hurt myself so badly. I didn’t really know she didn’t want me around.
This is triggering 
Now that you know, you can go your seperate ways and not be involved in what sounds like a damaging friendship. Hope you’re okay and best wishes !