My new therapist was discussing anger and self talk. He said no one makes you angry but yourself. I get that people can only anger us if we let them, but this seemed like not holding people who are cruel accountable. It felt really like he was saying im all to blame.
I believe in justice, im not vengeful. If someone is being abusive its not right to just settle for this is 100% on me
Do you agree/disagree or atleast how he specifically explained it
It takes two to tango.
What someone says to you combines with how you interpret their words and your existing opinion on them. Like two chemical elements forming a reaction.
Example
If a stranger repeatedly asked me for money, I’d get a bit angry.
If a family member did the same I would accept without a second’s thought.
Example
If a stranger told me “you’re fat” I wouldn’t care.
If my mom did the same I would resent her, because she’s the one forcing me to eat a lot, lol.
I agree with you, not the therapist.
From what you have described in your previous posts, I would say you are clearly in a toxic relationship with your parents.
How can one heal fully if trapped in an unhealthy environment?
It is true that you need to stay on your meds and work on getting and remaining stable with this illness, but some of this is coming from your family.
Would you be able to move out of your parents’ home, at least for awhile?
Both of my sons moved out from our home in their 20’s and I think that was healing for both of them. They rent an apartment together and choose not to interact with us. I am not upset by this and I know that both of them need space to be themselves without critical parents and step-parents commenting on their every thought.
I truly believe that when my sons are ready, that they will be able to have a relationship with us again.
What I am saying is maybe it is time for you to put distance between yourself and your parents.
But please do that in a healthy way.
My relationship with my parents got much better when I moved out and live alone
Thats a significant part of my treatment plan, a lot of my severity is related to this environment. Theres just no option to get away, ive been on apartment lists and the nearest group home charges 90% of my disability payment
The only temporary way of leaving is a hospital stay, which is looking more and more like an option
That’s actually not bad if they meet 100% of your needs for food, lodging, and care.
Moved to DX’d - Sz/SzA. A reminder that The Lounge is not a dumping ground for everything, it is for the topics that do not fit into other categories.
v.