I always envy those people who have bad tempers and fly into rages at other people. I don’t have a bad temper but I always wish I did. But then I talk to these people with bad tempers and a lot of them say their biggest regret in life was losing their temper so much. I guess I need to find a balance between passivity and appropriate anger.
My dad had a horrible temper which I did not inherit. He could hold his temper but when you pushed him too far and he finally lost it he didn’t care who you were or how big you were, he would say nasty sh*t to deliberately make you hit him first and then he would go crazy on you. He was doing this even in his sixties and seventies but only if someone provoked or tried to scare him or intimidate him.
But he told me once that his biggest regret was losing his temper so much during his life. He told me some stories that I just thought, " I wish I could do that". Maybe I should just accept that I’m a mellow guy and I always will be. I was somewhat aggressive when I was a teen-ager believe it or not but I always envied the mellow, laid back guys. You can’t please us humans.
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My dad was a Vietnam veteran. An Engineer in the Australian army. Very much a ticking time bomb we all tip toed around. Wasn’t really a violent man but was so obvious of the demons he was trying to protect us all from. Worked with temperamental chefs, Almost psychotic farmers. Always feared my father the most. Mostly from what he didn’t show us.
Always envied my dad on his workaholicness. He was always building, repairing, tinkering. Just wished he had the patience to teach me half the things he knew also to make it fun. Seemed to drain the life out of everything. Humour was not encouraged one bit or was extremely limited.
Main thing most people said when they saw my dad and I together. Was that dad was the source of all my issues. Extremely wrong though.
Seemed to have inherited some of his ptsd traits. Not on my diagnosis but one of my tdocs who worked mostly with the vets. Would love picking me up on traits from combat solders. Things like preferring to sit with my back to a wall etc.
No idea what he did face over there he never really talked about it. Did start talking a bit more about it after therapy though. In the end I think he’s had more physic hospital stays then I have. No ones really talking about though.
He had always thought I was faking it all before he was diagnosed with ptsd after I left home. . Had always thought it would bring us closer. Far from it.
Honor the dead fight like hell for the living!
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Yeah, my dad hid his demons well too. My dad was a veteran too, from the Korean war He was in the Navy, he saw action but only when his ship was sailing along the coast shelling the mainland and the Koreans returned fire.
Whenever me or my sisters would cry about some stupid thing like if we broke each others toys or we stubbed our toe or got stung by a bee he would always say, “What are you crying for? When I was in the Navy, the guy standing next to me got his head blown off and he didn’t even say a word”. Military humor.
Your father sounded like a practical man with some issues. Sounds like he was a fair provider for your family. I wish my dad had taught me more too.
Haven’t looked into it but bound to be problems with children of the Korean war veterans. As there has been with the children of Vietnam war veterans. Have been thinking of starting a support site for children of vets that have faced armed conflict. But the children are such a small minority. Many have ended up with mental illness or suffer from mental distress.
I’m glad I don’t have a temper… I don’t even know what’s real. There be a lot of me lashing out at people for saying ■■■■ they didn’t actually say.