Things are a tough battle, but I refuse to be governed by chemicals.
My schizo was induced by drugs. I had experienced a nasty case of hypoglycemia which is the opposite to diabetes.
This reduction in glucose levels led to dementia. Eventually I no longer could know which was my left hand nor my right hand. I was no longer able to know which hand held the fork nor which hand held the knife. I no longer knew the names of people that I had been working with for 5 years. I eventually could not read sentences without having to read them over and over and over before I could grasp there meaning. Later on I could no longer recognize some words without having to read them letter by letter.
Once having found the cause of all this, and beginning a reversal of it, It took me 8 years to relearn a whole lot of this, including how to write. But the recovery was not complete. So the docs gave me a cat scan and could see that neural brain activity was still below the norm. So they gave me dopamine enhancer drugs.
This caused schizophrenia symptoms to appear. So they said, donāt worry, we will take you off the drugs and you will be back to your old self in 2 weeks. 19 years have passed by and the old self never came back.
Then my psychiatrist, not that long after the all hell broke lose, said that he was no longer seeing people of my age bracket. He gave me my medical files and guess what ? All the information concerning this drug induced schizophrenia had been carefully removed.
When I tried to hook up with other psychiatrists, they all gave me the OK that they could help me, but eventually my original psychiatrist passed the info that if I was classified as a schizo via their actions, I could sue my original psychiatrist. So they all dumped me after saying either that they could not help me, or that there was nothing wrong with me. Thus they all covered each others butts.
My first reaction was - thatās a lot of ā ā ā ā . Donāt usually use that word unless I drop something. Itās good that you are managing and without the meds + their side effects. Psychiatry in an infant science, or is it a science?
I wish it was a lot of ā ā ā ā , but in truth, it was pure hell. I broke into tears when I was in the process of cooking some beans. Instead of opening the bean can with a can opener, I was trying to open the pan that I was to put the beans in instead. Yep that may sound funny, but it was hell to experience as I realized that I was fading away into nothingness. At the same time, If I was in the shower, I could only tell that the water was in one of the two extremes. It was either way to hot or way to cold, but I was no longer able to tell which of the two extremes it was.
Physical awareness had also reduced to zero, and so I was now 100% dependent upon visual awareness instead. Thus when I hit the sack. I could not tell if I was lying on my back or my side. Physical awareness was reduced to zero. However, if one focuses upon a specific part of the body, under normal circumstances this amplifies ones awareness of this part of the body. But in my case, since I had no physical awareness when in the dark, this brought an awareness to the conscious level concerning that part of the body ONLY. Imagine what that is like.
I also had NO short term memory. Thus if I was in a store and entered through one door and exited through another door, I had no way of telling whether or not I had used just one door as both exit and entrance since there was no short term memory at work.
Other times, if I at home watched a movie and was eating snacks and then ran out of snacks, my hand that was holding the snacks could still be being held out in front of me, despite being empty, for up to an hour before I would even notice this. This is what happens when ones awareness of ones self is reduced to close to zero.
But since this is in no way a common occurrence, it is seen by others as nothing but B.S.
Thereās a difference ā ā ā ā and bull ā ā ā ā I was saying - what a lot of bad stuff to happen. Itās good that youāve recovered from the dementia at least largely. I always think - if youāre better off without the meds than with - long range, donāt take them.
I know. I have never heard of anyone elsewhere experience such a nightmare. Not even remotely the same at all.
Once, as a dimwit, I was washing my apartment windows, and I had accidentally leaned up against the window and it cracked. I damn nearly fell through the window on the eighteenth floor. Many times I wish that I had fallen to my death rather than experience what was yet to come.
I take lots of prescription medications and I also do lots of other things. Just sayin. Just because you are on a whole slew of sedating medications does not mean that you cannot do what you put your mind to. With caffeine and resolve, you can even do extreme sports and be awesome at your occupation. I myself am very passionate about psychology, youāve probably picked that up from being on here, and I am also an avid weightlifter, thereās videos of me powerlifting on this forum in the creativity section.
And no I am not manic, I know mania, my sister lives with me and has bipolar. I take weightlifting stimulant drinks before hitting the gym and run on double doses of coffee (like a doubleshot can made my starbucks) when I am not lifting.
Medication saved my life and I will take it until I am dead. I canāt help but ask people who donāt take meds how far that has gotten them in life, sarcastically. Meds are not fun. Side effects suck. Having to take so many pills sucks. Being addicted to tranquilizers (that is what antipsychotics are) is as bad as it sounds, but life without them is worse, I tried it and am still trying to understand how I survived that hell.
I suggest taking medicine for an illness. I mean you take aspirin for a headache, go use toothpaste and shampoo respectively, had vaccinations when you were a kid, maybe you even take birth control, I mean what if you were diabetic, wouldnāt you take insulin? Well you are schizophrenic, and there is medicine for that.
Well over all I tried it, got lowā¦decided to back on the meds and Iām actually doing greatā¦ Not the results I expected I hoped I was different and that I didnāt need these meds but I cant lie Iām friggin wonderful being back on them. Itās an awful adjustment. But Iām better
The only way Iāll stop taking my meds is if my doctor tell me weāre taking you off. If not Iāll keep taking them. Whoa @mortimermouse
I couldnāt imagine my life without soap or shampoo, thatās incredibly insightful of you, Iāve heard the insulin/diabetes comparison before but it wasnāt worded as nicely, what you said really had an impact on me!!!
Sometimes when I get really hopeless, I tell myself Iāll buy a plane ticket and escape psychiatry, but not many people will lend a hand in life in times where you truly need it, and I feel my care team wants to help. Itās not much but better than nothing. Too late to go back now, I havenāt been admitted in emergency since 2009 and I plan on continuing that way. The pdoc in charge when I was in the ward said if I take my meds I never have to come back.
Iād be too far out in my own trip to be on this forum if I didnāt take meds, it gives me a group to belong to, Vivotica, you are a pretty girl, I know youāre not sure if meds are right for you, but maybe it is better to give it a try than have things that canāt be rewinded happen to you. not trying to be negative, but I see a common theme among diagnosed schizophrenics, some kind of beauty in their facesā¦ Happiness isnāt far away, be grateful for the things you have, and God willing with time you shall add to your blessings, good luck!
I have a new psychiatrist and am running into the same ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā problem/ they cancel without warning and think they can do that because their paid to ā ā ā ā ā ā ā prescribe me pills I was diagnosed to apparently need!!! This is the second time in a row this psychiatrist has canceled on me running to a month after my last appointment which was supposed to be on a holiday in January, my next appointment was supposed to be february 12th and he canceled already, better than a day before but still!!! I have medications I need to take and be prescribed. Like adderall is over with Iām so done because I canāt get it when I need it.
You have had enough advice but I would like to add one point.
It is not the side effects that matter most but the negative symptoms we endure when we are psychotic free.
There are fine examples of people who battled their negative symptoms and are surviving despite the hardships they face.
I take my meds to maintain my sane condition and then it is my battle to fight the negative and cognitive symptoms, yes, you will not find adequate support to resolve your issues with these non psychotic symptoms, it is entirely up to you to wake up and search to be productive or stay in bed and keep thinking of what has gone wrong with you.
I wish you luck and above all I wish you will stay med compliant and regard your life as a battle that has many outcome options with many positive ones.
Itās better to let your doctor take you off meds gradually if youāre having so many problems. It might not be very wise to just stop all together on your own. Maybe the doctor can find another medication that would be better for you. Iāve been on lots of meds. Now, Iām on clozapine and itās really worked with the racing thoughts and voices. I donāt hear them nearly as much as I used to.
I suggest taking medicine for an illness. I mean you take aspirin for a headache, go use toothpaste and shampoo respectively, had vaccinations when you were a kid, maybe you even take birth control, I mean what if you were diabetic, wouldnāt you take insulin? Well you are schizophrenic, and there is medicine for that.
This really really helped me @mortimermouse
Iām stable in a way I havenāt been in years! I finally see the light at the end of this tunnel Iām coming out of and itās wonderful! My doctor just added Strattera (25 mg) to help with my focus as well anyone else taking Anti-Psychotics, Anti-Depressants and ADHD meds?? If yes how is it working for you?? I finally see the me I want to be more and more every day
No I do not feel cured, for I stuck to the truth, and I will die with the truth.
I said that I will die defending the truth, and so I will.
Those who say the so called āschizophreniaā is a mental illness have chosen not to look at the bigger picture, thus have chosen not to look at the bigger truth.
When I was in the hospital in 2013; they took me off all my medications except Lithium cold turkey and my psychiatrist said that was what they were supposed to do! Then, they added medications and took me of medications. The same psychiatrist put me on zyprexa and then told me not to eat even if I was hungry! A pa took me off Cogentin and later another psychiatrist put me back on Cogentin for the tardive dykasia that I had. I got so fed up that I stop taking meds altogether. Finally, I did consent with the new psychiatrist (the psychiatrist who put me on zyprexa had escaped to California!) put me back on Lithium. After I moved, my psychosis came back, my anxiety increased, my mania and insomnia came back! Now, I am on Lithium, Ativan, and Seroquel. I canāt sleep ( I am afraid that I will die!) I canāt stay still and all I can do is sit on my bed and watch tv and surf the internet. Somehow, the communication lines have broken down and I am suffering. I blaime the doctors for trying to poison me, stealing from me what I need for my survival for their own mean-spirited and financial ends.
