Worst think you thought about yourself?

Lounge
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It will be terribly honest what I’ll share.
I remember during psychosis that my only path is prostitution. Though I never did it, and (what a coincidence) when old taxi driver offered me 50 euros and grabbed my leg, I jumped out of the car. It was 2016. He was a creeper. I was only a teenager.
The main thing why I thought about myself like that, is because I was so delusional, and felt so much hatred to myself, that I thought it could be the good way to hurt myself. It was sadomasochistic.
Psychosis is a dangerous state.
I am glad it was only in my mind, not in my actions.
What was the worst thing you were thinking about yourself?

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Many terrible things. Just putting myself down, telling myself I’m nothing and don’t deserve respect.

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Mentioning respect… same, so many years I thought I do not deserve it.
Working on self-love now.

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I thought about doing porn or trying to get into the business

Thank goodness these thoughts are gone

They were bothersome and made me not able to focus on enjoying my parents and family. I think a lot of these thoughts came from my psychosis.

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Psychosis can really mess with our heads @anon40326163

For me thoughts about prostitution were also bothersome. Good it’s gone.
Though I still sometimes remember it.

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I feel ugly

222222222

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you’re not ugly!!! @Turtle43

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Thank you I appreciate that

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I thought schizophrenia meant I was a sh!thead

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TW self-harm

I cut myself every night and I was very proud of the cuts I made. if they were deep and beautiful, I was so happy of myself that I was able to do that to myself. I was very proud of my accomplishments. I thought that there is one thing in the world I can do right and that was hurting myself.

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Ohhh… @nimeton thats so so sad and horrible. I am sorry you went through such huge depression

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@BringMeCoffee yeah, now that I think of it, it was pretty bad.

I have a lot of scars now. in my left arm there is barely any skin showing under the scar tissue… both of my arms are ruined from wrist to shoulder. I didn’t think of this when I was harming myself, that I will carry these signs of illness for the rest of my life.

I would never want to lose my scars tho, as I think they tell a story of how far I’ve come.

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I, too, have many scars from self harm…cutting and burning. I used to think I was courageous for harming myself. I’m no longer ashamed of them but, because I’m doing well, I’m also no longer proud of them. I like to say to myself “well, so far I’ve survived 100% of my bad days”!

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what?! hmmm, ha! wait, what?

lol

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One time after a really hard drinking binge I decided I was no longer a good or worthwhile person. It was a bad feeling. I’m not sure I have shaken it off.

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I think obsessive compulsive disorder intrusive thoughts can make you think you’re pretty disturbed but you have to dismiss those mishaps

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I thought I was a thought criminal and I had to kill myself to save the world from my horrible thoughts…

I learned that belief is very important…in myself and in other people. It shapes what we see in the world and others. The hard part for me is removing some of the distorting lenses I’ve accumulated over the past few years :person_shrugging:t5:

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I’ve told people to not cut themselves because later in life the scars will be an issue. In work life and life in general. I have been having to hide my arms because cutting scars are not socially accepted. And in some jobs it’s not always possible to wear long sleeves all the time.

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I Lov how keanu reeves dated a much older woman.

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in psychosis the whole universe hated me

and the punishment was hell forever

also I thought I was dead and in hell

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