Sza diagnosed. I have such bad anxiety about finding work. I worked a part time holiday job for about five weeks in retail before I had to quit; Severe joint pain and made my mental health so bad I was considering… Well, no longer existing, to put it lightly.
In March I’m working with a vocational rehab place to find work that better suits me. Even so, I’m so anxious. No matter where I look, I hear about abusive managers. I hear about sexual harassment at work. I hear about constant threats of being laid off, of being fired. It honestly has me mentally and emotionally crippled.
I’m sitting in bed right now and feel like I’m dying, just thinking about facing all of this. I want to cry, but I feel too in shock to cry. Some comfort and advise would be great right now.
You’re overthinking it and obsessing. Relax. You also hear about good managers and good co-workers. Just get the job, go to work and do what they ask you to. Be friendly; you don’t have to be the life of the party but it helps if you say hi to people and make small talk. If you put in some effort, have a good attitude, be punctual and remain teachable you shouldn’t have to worry about being fired.
I also cannot function at work. I had a job at a retail store that I had to quit after the first training session. I started getting paranoia on the sales floor and realized it would inevitably lead to psychosis. I felt terrible, I remember crying that night to my parents. I had to quit the job before that due to suicidal ideation.
I am personally lucky enough to receive disability payments from the government along with getting a HUD housing choice voucher. That makes it so I can live and afford everything without working. My primary recommendation would be to see if you can get on a governmental program for disability since you are struggling so much.
If that is not an option, I recommend trying to find a job where you work alone. Cleaning jobs are excellent in this regard. Oftentimes they let you wear headphones as you work. Coworkers can add stress in my experience.
If you stay positive in things you do, including work, chances are much less that bad things will happen.
Other than that we all just have to accept that nothing lasts forever. It’s just about trying to find a positive place to be in the moment. Try not to worry too much about what comes next.