The stress and grief buildup of the past few years is really getting to me. Normally I am pretty stoic (or at least I appear to be) because I was raised to never show emotions so as to not upset the “atmosphere of the household” (pretty messed up, I know) but right now I feel all these intense emotions welling up in my soul that I wish I could just cry away. When I do manage to cry, it’s rare that I shed more than a few tears, and it takes something profoundly sad to get me to cry in the first place. My meds might be a hindrance in this regard also but there’s not much I can do about that right now.
Anyone out there who’s dealt with this problem and come up with a solution for it?
It might not be the meds. Sometimes our brains can sort of turn emotions and reactions off. It’s almost impossible for me to show anger and even feel anger. Growing up I was essentially taught you dont get angry my brain grew up with this and it now has that inability to show anger. I start to get angry and itll just disappear. Same thing goes for crying around others.
As for a solution that will be something hat mainly you’ll have to play around with, everyone is different. I used to journal a lot. Writer down every single thought, every single emotion. Sometimes I would cry. Sometimes I wouldnt. But a lot of the time I felt lighter than before. Paper holds emotions a lot better than humans. I would do art. Sometimes I didnt know what to draw so I would just scribble I would scribble the whole page and it’s weird but I would feel better. I would listen to songs that I could relate to, songs about things I was going through. It helped me feel less alone and for whatever reason it opened that emotional trap and let me cry. Sometimes I would write poems, other times i would come up with random verses to songs that would never get a finished tune. Sometimes i would just curl up under a blanket and just let myself feel. I would try to not shut down. Sometimes it would help to talk to somebody, they wouldnt even really need to say anything. It was good to just have somebody that would listen.
