My aunt wants to introduce me to someone but then she wants me to hide my diagnosis and claim it is only stress. I really do not want to meet this person anymore. Yes, I have been free of symptoms since diagnosis four years ago but there is no guarateee it won’t come back.
Maybe she just doesn’t want this person to think less of you because of the misconceptions surrounding sz, my partner has it and its not something I openly tell family and friends even though he doesn’t care who knows purely because I don’t want them to think his any less amazing then he is because they don’t understand at all
Oh I realise I forgot to add you shouldn’t have to hide it some people are open minded and are not phased at all its just unfortunate there’s just as many out there that are not and make the whole subject more uncomfortable then it should be hope all that makes sense
I personally would not tell a date/stranger my diagnosis right away, especially if she did not have a mental illness herself or was not familiar with it on a personal level. I would get to know the person and see how things go. If things are going smooth and the relationship starts to get serious, then I would tell her
I was thinking about how I just blab it out there right off. Not always the best solution, but for some reason I have to tell them up front. I just think I’d rather have someone get freaked out and leave me after the first day of knowing rather then six months down the line.
One date ended quickly and it had nothing to do with SZ.
I told her I was part time employed… not a deal breaker
I was tight on cash… not a deal breaker
I live with my sister… not a deal breaker
I have SZ… not a deal breaker
My family is part Mexican… deal breaker. Yep, this young lass bought in to all the stereotypes of us lazy Mexicans. Actually said her family would never approve of her dating a Mexican … illegal or not.
But @Ish I’m sorry you’re family couldn’t just set you up with a nice dinner and leave it at that and have to make a deal about this. I have a feeling that on the first date with both of you probably being nervous,… you probably wouldn’t have told this person anything anyway because first dates are usually small talk and nervous glances. So it probably wouldn’t have come up just because it’s the nature of a first date.
You shouldn’t have to hide your diagnosis. I don’t. But I hope you don’t let your family get you down on this. You should be able to have a meal with the person and if he’s cool, try for another. Tell or don’t tell when it’s right for you.
I was told right from the start I admired that my partner could be so honest straight up with out even knowing me at the time and I don’t think it would have mattered to me when he chose to disclose to me about his mental illness I love him for who he is regardless and things have gotten pretty tough right now and I still want to be there to love and support him so in all honesty I don’t think it really matters when you tell someone, if they are the right person it won’t make any difference I was confused with what the post said at first I thought it was just like an aunts friend not a possible date or I’d have said this instead my apology
If you are symptom free, like me, I advise doing your best to go out there and meet the world head-on. I have a domineering yet also highly conscientious personality, so my recovery had me focused entirely on self-improvement, I am a nit-picker with my grades (I demand all A’s) and I got into powerlifting.
four years is a long time. I think it’s best to live well at this point for you, celebrate your victory over schizophrenia by living well. That is how I see life after waking up from the living nightmare of psychosis. I try not to look back. I have nothing to gain by limiting myself.
I have met new people, but recently I decided to tell them the truth about myself. They find it interesting, and they usually have lots of questions. I am obviously of sound mind these days, people say they would have never guessed that I was mentally ill. I explain that medication can work miracles for some people with schizophrenia, and I am lucky to be one of those people.
Don’t let the fear of relapse stunt your personal growth. I have nightmares about relapsing sometimes, but I wake up, make coffee, take my meds and get ■■■■ done and spend time with friends every day. I don’t let a label mean anything. I try to disprove the misconceptions and stereotypes of what people who have schizophrenia are like.
I still smoke cigarettes though. That is the one stereotype that I reinforce, LOL. But I have made acquaintances by hanging out at smoking spots on campus, so even that has worked in my favor. Besides, lots of psych students smoke, I don’t know why, they just do. I met yet another acquaintance yesterday at a smoking spot outside of the psych building yesterday.
I actually believe its something interesting to say about yourself. I have a habit of telling people a lot. It tells a lot about you, and trust me of all the mental illnesses or physical illnesses out there, schizophrenia has to be the most interesting to tell someone you have.
Do you not want to meet this person anymore because of what your aunt wants you to do? Or you just don’t have an interest? My thoughts are that if you really do want to meet them go ahead. Why would you have to say anything at all about your dx? Especially if you are symptom free now. If by chance you really become close to this person, then you will know in your heart when the time is right to disclose your medical history.
I don’t usually go around telling people of my diagnosis right off the bat. I figure someone should get to know me first, and then they can decide for themselves whether or not it’s a big deal. I figure that if someone knows right off the bat, then they may stereotype me or think bad things about me without giving me a chance at being who I am. So far, I haven’t even told any of my teachers about it. In one English class at community college long ago, I wrote about my experience in the mental hospital, without giving my diagnosis. I got an A+ on that paper, so he responded well. Also, if I was diabetic or something, I wouldn’t go around telling people my diagnosis, not for fear that they would think badly of me for it, but just because you don’t usually go around telling people about your medical problems. And that’s what schizophrenia is–a medical problem. Does it define you? Are you more than your diagnosis? Is it an essential part of who you are? I did tell about my diagnosis on my Bryn Mawr College application. We’ll see how that goes–whether I get in or not.
Really like your comments Caroline. Your right your diagnosis it doesn’t define who you are and we are more than our diagnosis, hopefully! I think for each person its individual if you want to tell people. James and others it works well to tell people. But some people it works better to not say anything.
If you are schizoaffective and bipolar is the mood part you could always say you are bipolar?? just a thought.
The right time to tell someone is different for everyone but with anything you feel you need to disclose to a person if its me I feel that if I don’t feel I can be honest from the start or I am and I don’t get a good response they aren’t the kind of person I want around around anyways and unfortunately until the time comes to tell you don’t know wether the person is going to be open minded or judgemental but for me the start of any relationship is best for myself saves getting to know a person then realising they are a douch then going through the cycle of questioning why I wasn’t good enough once I told them , thanks for reading
What a silly family.
My past makes no sense unless I tell that I am schizophrenic. So if I try and hide it then I have to keep ducking and dodging questions about me and can’t talk about my past. too much of a pain in the ass to bother with.