It is just so frustrating and depressing. Every time i hear her talking about my condition with another person i feel completely down, sad, helpless and hopeless. I mean schizophrenia is a big stigma, why tell people that your son has it? Last time she was talking about it with the gardener, i went to ask her why she needed to humiliate me like that and then she thought that because of my questioning i was unwell (i later heard she told my brother) and i feared i would be sent to the ward. I now know i dont have to show my feelings to her which makes me feel sad. I would like to leave but i basically have nowhere to go and if i were to leave surely she would go to the police saying that i have mental problems and i would end up in the ward. The situation makes me feel so vulnerable and defenseless and it feels like im having a big weight pushed into my chest.
Don’t Give Up Upon tha Mindless Uncaring of Ignorance … ,
Some Peeps jus Won’t and Don’t Get it … ,
Can’t let that Annoyance Eat You Alive .
Your mother is very unthoughtful and obviously emotionally immature if she keeps doing it despite you told her that it upsets you. Maybe she feels better when she shares her worries with someone but nevertheless its selfish and intolerable.
I suggest you to gather all your strength and calmness and talk to her about it, choose a moment when you are alone and when she is in a good mood, just tell her how much it upsets you because stigma is additional burden in already though illness to handle. Tell her that if you have sz it doesn’t mean you are mentally disabled and immature, and tell her that you feel belittled and disrespected by her acting.
I hope she gets at least some of it.
If not, though, maybe you could ask your pdoc to speak with her ( my did with my mother), or if you maybe have other more understanding member of a family.
Just remember that its not your fault, some people just lack emotional intelligence even when they’re old.
I told my cousin when I got my diagnosis, asking for advice. They told my aunt and it spread to the rest of my family. I still haven’t talked to them about it, I feel so betrayed. Now I pretty much keep everything to myself.
I hope you can talk some sense into your mom. Idk tell her to see a therapist if @Sarad is right about her needing someone to talk to because telling the whole town is doing more harm than good.
My mom told a lot of people too, mostly friends and family. I told her a few weeks ago that I didn’t like that she’d done that, that it’s a very private thing and should be my own choice if I wanted people to know or not. She apologized, but said no one would judge me for it. Little does she know the small ways people can misleadingly judge another person for said person having a severe mental illness.
You should definitely tell her to stop doing that. Tell her it’s your business and yours alone, and if she can’t understand it, explain that if it was her illness she probably wouldn’t want so many people knowing.
Parents do this so they don’t feel so alone in dealing with us, for people to show them compassion and understanding. We can’t really blame them though, it’s a very tough situation to have to deal with a mentally ill child. They need support, from wherever they can get it.
I understand it awakens such feelings within you and that you feel you cant move because she may contact police etc and that you might feel trapped or stuck in situation you dont feel you can get out of.
With out money or place to stay… where could one go.
Living out of a van may not be good in long run and talking about government assisted living can be difficult.
There are live in positions of work but often with schizophrenia symptoms one is not well enough to work let alone live with other people one might not even feel good about or with etc.
I agree with Sarad that talking with your mum could be a good idea.
Telling her honestly how it makes you feel and that you do not like it.
Maybe she feels she gets attention and sympathy or understanding from people by telling them but its about you not her. Its your privacy, integrity etc.
If you feel unable to talk to/with her then you could show her this post you have written because you have written and articulated yourself very clearly here.
Theres no mistaken how you feel about it…
As if we don’t have to educate the whole world about stigma…
Some parents just don’t get it, ever.
I think some play the I have it so hard taking care of my son or daughter, so they tell everyone about it for sympathy.
But do they give their own children sympathy? some never.
When you get old enough to get to get away from your parents and be free of their shackles.
But try to explain to them WHY its so hurtful to blabber on about it. maybe after explaining every time they do it, they May get it, or NOT…
my mom tells people about my paranoid sz, all the time. I have no shame for my illness, so I don’t care. in fact, she is actually giving them a heads-up or a warning, because then I can’t feel guilty when I avoid them.
everyone, even my brother, knows about my sz, and nobody cares about it; or I wouldn’t notice because I only socialize with my good brother.
Maybe she needs therapy as an appropriate outlet to talk to someone about your illness. She is looking towards others for comfort, other parents for advice and whatnot.
my partner shares my mental health status with her coworkers, she felt the need to since she is becoming a QMA,(qualified medical assistant) at a nursing home. and they were discussing the meds I was taking and she had to right down the definitions for akathisia and tardive dyskinesia. both of which I have
My mother once told a person that was coming to look at my house to swap it,
I really wish she hadn’t you should have seen the look her and her husband gave me.
Id rather people weren’t informed haha
My mom def makes a lot of Facebook posts about mi and substance abuse… She mostly just tells my family and her close friends but I know how it feels. She needs an outlet and it makes you feel like ■■■■.
well, I didn’t mean to say that nobody cares about my paranoid sz. my doctors care about it
No one in my family had to tell anyone else. When I started showing up at family functions 60 lbs overweight and medicated they all got the picture. Not to mention the fact that I can’t hold a job, haven’t dated in three years and don’t function like I used to
I guess I just wanted to be in charge of when to tell people.
Because I have found some friends will stand by you.
But others start to look at you like an alien.
Its due to all the stigma stuff floating around.
I try to hide it and go to work and not talk about it.
UNTIL I have a relapse, then I may get to say after the fact.
O well that was juts the old sz kicking in, sometimes I have to go to hospital.
but they remember the year they know you and remember that First.
You can explain later what sz can do.
You may lose some friends that don’t understand, but if they can’t handle it, you don’t need those so called friends anyway if they are judgemental.