Why is everyone in my life abusive/sociopath/puts you down

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I never meet “good people”…Everyone ive ever met is abusive sociopathic or tries to put you down. In fact maybe I have met a couple people who are good people, but misunderstanding of the illness, so ditched me. Oh well I had that one friend, but he would buy me wine every night and id drink a bottle of his wine??? My sister said he was living vicariously through me cuz he couldn’t drink since he was on the VIVITROL shot…then he moved away.

I attract bad personalities

hopefully washington will be different.

sometimes i feel all alone in this world other than my family

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is it the drug culture to be this way???

because all my friends ive ever had are drug addicts or ppl who hang with drug addicts (some werent drug addicts but all their friends were drug addicts, maybe they do this to feel better about themselves??)

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I currently have this problem as well. It’s hard to find people who truly understand and having sz doesn’t make it easier. :disappointed_relieved: But don’t give up! I’ve “met” more nice people on these forums and social media more than in the outer world. :slight_smile: Just like, @flameoftherhine said, we have to takE action and spread awareness of this illness.

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@flameoftherhine is so wise

always getting quoted :blush:

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I just wanted my damn badge. :joy: But I really think it was a great idea. I hear you’re speaking at NAMI so that’s a good start! :slight_smile: By the way, Good luck!

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I had this one friend in college, his name was Christian. he was african-american. He never drank or smoked pot. But he hung out with all the alcoholics and drug addicts. 100% of his friends. And he would just badmouth alcoholics and drug addicts all the time. “YOU FRIGGIN DRUGGIE” and non-stop. He seemed likeable at the time but thinking back he was a menace. And when I stopped my meds and started becoming psychotic he began f’ing with my mind, driving me to the point of greater insanity that I had my worst psychotic break I ever had.

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Some locations have nothing but hate mongers and passive aggressives, especially if you are trying to move into smaller community. Some small towns are throwing out city people who tried it or women who moved there alone to take job got ruined to get SSDI, put with drug dealers and cops put her in mental hospital when she complains about it…

Some of these bad situations flat out make people sick, it causes a nervous to be around some of these especially if wealthy abusers are involved. Way to handle meeting the wrong people and desire to leave, cut contact with all you met through these people without ANYTHING confrontational. Confrontationally telling someone off can put you into paranoid schizo sometimes. If stalked, just say ‘we are good’ one time and ignore them every other time and avoid places these frequent. You may not meet any people who are even neutral until you move…

Facebook is a relief. I went back to the old group from school. I know who was who then see who has cracked up or whatever since…Meetup.com is HUGE in some places. Is calendar for a huge number of activity groups nationally and LOW COST. Word of warning, in a sick community is is way to fall prey to more people making slaves or trying to land a mistress; if the community looks healthy, is huge relief to meet some professional normals through this.

Sometimes checking out churches isn’t even a good idea unless you get invite from good people and you have been around a while to watch what is treating people wrong in the community. Some of these dirty church situations with hate mongers won’t let people go and the tentacles are VERY long if you try to leave. Is nice to know which denominations teach hate monger tactics to show stigma and which do not in small town, helps you avoid the messed up ones. Some places have a lot of hate to show and no ethics from some churches…

Locally, my community has tolerated a lot of sex abuse from wealthies, covered up by governor and attorney general some of the victims landing on the check and tortured for 30 years now…This atmosphere has lured in some really opportunistic business people who knew just to plug into the churches and lure the lambs into doing anything to each other and strangers as GAWD’s voices call. The businesses have suffered being screwed by employee’s personal suffering and weakness as the employees gave into demands to mess up customers and okay coworkers. Cops and court went dirty, lots of bad scams and church leaders who claim to own minorities and cops. If you knew anything about the elders at some of these churches or watched coworkers from certain places harmed, you would never go near it. In this atmosphere, the men are pussies. I’ve been worked in govt places where it was normal to screw people who took this job or that job, go after hot ones or work over the old battleax in groups just following demands to do latest scam to workers who managed to hang on. For profit businesses are dirtier yet. Saw workshops on ‘how to ditch people on medical leave’, then all hell broke loose as lots of adults started to have their own mental problems for 2-3 years here, screwed out of job, ran out of retirement money…then they will mess up their own mama. Worked for guy who drove his wife crazy, got kids and wants dates – his problems are harming the kid customers.

Moved around myself and seen lots of victimizing situations so would advise you go where you know at least a few people who have lived there a while. Be prepared to expect little and maybe just accept avoidance. A few good ones is much better than wondering. The questionables are expensive. I am now living with family as the local asses won’t leave the women alone to even work while living alone sometimes, even someone 330 lb female torment victim. Late good one I know is in jail and I’m waiting on him. Had to give up my house of 12 years because the cops here were screwing out some people in 1-2 weeks, unsure for what new scam. Moved around 6 times and got screwed or found out psychotics from an abuser are who is usually killed in a city where I got GOOD work in 1 month…

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Should mention, some of the smaller communities (10k) are ‘not taking new workers’ and people who tried to rent/buy existing housing were being screwed. People went broke as all their possessions are vandalized every 6 months or so… Whole neighborhoods of nice older houses sat in foreclosure and empty. While people doing new builds were only ones left alone to keep the contractors busy. People with deeper pockets got a warm welcome, screwed, sent to same cops and same town attorney who just take rest of money and they left broke. This is Colorado.

May be better to hang onto your old place and just not pay the house taxes. Would consider making strong friendships and fix family squables with the okay people so poorer people like us will be okay through this and have options with so much predatorial stuff…

City can be so bad for women who even transfer with a job, they moved away in a few months if alone. Looked like gay bar with only males at the bars in Denver.

Oregon has become very bit—y btw, nasty even. I’ve never been cursed out that much just looking around but saw all the homeless in Portland laying around the parks/empty lots…I just cannot look closely at an expensive city again.
Some only left city area here after loss of home for trying to hang on, fired from multiple jobs without unemployment, vehicle ruined, retirement long spent and left on kindness of a friend who wants to keep the wolves away by renting out back room of his/her place elsewhere. Working online was only way out of here…only way for some ruined and blackballed to keep homelessness away.

Then we get towns with kids being allowed to mess up and throw out adults, cops do nothing. Landlords are only housing the nutcases and screwing the okay people who moved in and out quickly, probably paying for lots of broken belongings/vehicles along the way. Fell victim to this myself…Cannot just buy a property and move to country alone and female even on social security, they mess up their own to keep the males served.

But told by my town elders 20 years ago, only way to be okay in my city which usually ruins anyone who worked there was to own country property. So, when area ruined you, you had a place to go because if you try to move to a new place with psychosis going, sometimes you are thrown out. Many of the normal professionals I knew, worked on a country property elsewhere on weekends and stayed away from the wrong thing networks forming in the local churches filled with crazy peoples.

I’m sorry for your suffering. I miss contact with normals and had to return to verbally abusive parent’s home after 20 years but this is so much better than suffering I have seen others endure…

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I think often as one gets older one may eventually not want to tolerate abuse of any kind whether it sexual, spiritual, pshycological ,physical etc
As a child often it is very easy for someone to abuse sexually, mentally etc and still get loved.
Specially as stillperkin may of mentioned that there are often cover ups by wealthy, educated or people in power of molestations etc
Infact I have thought that some of the most populor people are perhaps pedophiles.
Maybe it is excused by filosofy of "one with all kinds people n energies n yada yada…"n that e sometimes needs to be bad.Still dont see that as reason to pedofilia etc
or they think they are together in relationship with the child or taking /stealing from them but the childs body is to young n even a "consenting " child obeying n doing what she/he is told i think is molested n abused often by someone they loved.
It may be common to love the people who abuse you and forgive them but it is very bad for ones health, pride, selfworth etc.

Then theres the thought of say a person loving a mad person and that they want to forgive them, support them and understand them but one should still not tolerate abuse but that may be the individuals choice .

I think one should even be cautious of little nasty comments, mental/pschycological abuse along with sm of hate.

It is in my opinion truly better to be alone than to be with people that abuse you and put you down whether its provable or not.
Some serious abusers make it look as if they are caring and kind and play pshycolocal games and sm with hate and are actually really dangerous people for ones wellbeing .
No matter how lonely one may feel.

Hold oneself high and love oneself and not accept abuse and put downs.
Wait to meet someone who will be loving, kind and good and supportive to you or if not then chose to be byself.

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any friends ive had that are into drugs , or getting wasted generally want you to partake, even at the cost of them paying for you, ive done it myself included. example: out with a few friends, i want to drink a bunch of shots , so i just buy my other 2 friends the same shots so im not soloing it.

stuff like that.

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It may depend on who the person is, your type of relationship, how close you are etc
There are people who may have diagnoses that make them agressive and there are some people who may experience such intense emotions that they do not feel they always can control so they might not sit down and plan the event/abuse then their are others who want to be mean and hurt you and put you down and are malicious and conciously want to cause harm or death.

If one had say a child who beat one up horosiously and did one wrong maybe one would put him in jail but seek help for im, medical help , emotional support , careplan etc
But if the abuse continued and you feared for your life because you knew they would n could kill you then maybe one would meet them in safe place…or not meet at all for a while or longer.
Maybe write letters.

I think i understand those who want to stay in abusive relationship where they are abused.
They may love the person so much and the person might struggle and be sick .
They might receive love and happiness on a good day and kling on to that.
They may keep thinking things will improve.

some people abuse each other. so they are both abusive.

Individuals choice but for me individually i would not want to take it but would want to leave.
I think I have taken too much in past actually in situations where I should not of associated with some people who were not nice to me.

If it is a spouse i think i would try get them help first and if that fails then leave them.or leave them straight away depending how i felt and how severe the abuse was/is…
It is awful feeling to get constant put downs and some of the people who get abused still have good sexlifes with the abuser and get kindness sometimes.

It can be difficult to put ones foot down to a person one loves and say : no, this is not what i want. I want better than this. I want to be treated better.

while sometimes it can be enough to let the abuser just “cool it” and just not have contact for a few weeks or months.
maybe it is a friend even.

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I have a memory of being suffocated with pillow etc till thought was going to die.

Another occasion of someone drowning me in bath tub and being “pshycho”.

Ive been bullied n experienced some different types of abuse.

Some of the people i do not like or want in my life in any way , shape or form while some of them i just forgive em and one of them i might just have some space from for a while.
I think it can be important to stand ones ground and stand up for one self.

I think Hope you will find positive relation ships with people that are good to and for you.

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It does seem like some people get into a pattern in their relationships, always ending up with the wrong type of person. Maybe if you moved in different circles and showed an interest in a different type of person you would have better relationships. Just a thought.

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Yeah I’m moving to Olympia, Washington I think the ppl r different there that’s one of the main reasons I’m moving

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