Why do we put so much emphasis on how diseases will effect others?

Yeah I looked at SZ simulations in what I thought were the early stages (turns out i’ve actually been delusional since i was six), and they are pretty accurate some of 'em.

Yeah, you need to go to the doctor. Please go to the doctor and tell them everything. I’m still having trouble telling my doctor everything, and I’ve been seeing her for two years. It’s OKAY if you don’t open up like a shucked clam at first, but it’s best if you tell them all you can. I would go see a therapist both for yourself, and maybe even group therapy with your family, if they are willing and want to better understand your condition.

You know I have totally opened up to my therapist but I might see trouble opening up to a doctor. Maybe I’ll ask him to send an email to my doctor… I’m sure he’d do it.

Maybe not. But it’s worth a shot. And I don’t recommend it as a permanent thing, you’ll have to go in eventually, and most doctors can’t give prescriptions without proper testing or without meeting the patient. I ran out of my medication for chronic migraine and the neurologist won’t prescribe me more because I won’t see him. So you may get lucky, you may not. I hope you get medication and proper treatment either way.

Right. I just meant, have him email, then I come in and the doctor, already knowing, talks to me. My therapist wonders if I have a medical condition since it started so young - he is looking at all the options (from psychosis to brain tumors) but I think he knows that it is most likely sz, based on the questions he asks. He doesn’t know I know this, but I know that they are based around suspicions of schizophrenia. He is just trying to be responsible and not freak me out.

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This was a common response from my mom when I had issues. It was mainly poorly expressed worry for me - when she was stressed out and didn’t know what was wrong or how to fix it or what it might mean for my future, she’d respond sometimes by getting angry at me.

I’m sorry that your father is responding like this, but try to think of it this way: if he says it’s worse for the parents than it is for the children, he isn’t saying that it’s not bad for you. He’s saying that it’s horrible for him.

(I can also tell you that I’ve had illnesses - a heart condition, life-threatening complications from tonsil surgery - that were much worse for my mom than for me. Parents really can care a lot about their children.)

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Yeah that is true - but I think he isn’t concerned about me - no, I KNOW that. He just gets pissed when I have poor responses, when I don’t talk much, etc. It isn’t about him feeling scared for me - it is about how he is mad that I am letting it affect him. He apparently thinks I can just turn my symptoms off when he is around - what a jerk. But your mom sounds like a really good mom (to my understanding). But my dad isn’t making an effort for me. Even when he finds out that I probably have one of the most severe mental illnesses - if not the most severe (though I don’t like to rank) of mental illnesses there are.

When I was 13, I thought she was a bad mom who only cared about herself, too.