Joseph was shot down by the cops.
Aurora in drunk driving accident in Mexico.
Cin died of a heroin overdose.
Mike intentionally overdosed of heroin a year to the day of Cins death.
Shannon was shot in a drug deal gone bad.
Chris took his own life.
They were all my close friends, I trusted them. Bad dreams bring this on. I was the one who always took too much, went too far…I’m the one left.
There’s a reason I don’t pursue friendships in real life.
I’ll snap out of it. Vent over.
Sounds like a terrible amount of loss to experience in one life time
I am sorry this happened to all these people
In 2014 I had no friends who I knew who died. Then all of a sudden three die in a matter of months. Years later. Another 3. And a few since.
I dunno they were all good people but maybe they made bad decisions which ultimately lead to the reason why we knew each other.
It’s sad as hell but I’m a survivor. Unfortunately they couldn’t survive.
And the very worst is when they say something leading up to their death and you can never ask them about it cuz they’re gone. It’s Sad af.
I like to think the good die young
If I live old it doesn’t make me bad. Just means I have more work to do here on this earth 
But thinking what could’ve been is always tough
My 19y.o. coworker died, it was sad. He got hit by a big truck. My other friend at work told me he saw his intestines and organs out as the truck crushed him.
I’m sorry, @Ooorgle
Losing friends like that hurts so deep.
I feel like if I had been a better person,
I could have prevented losses like that in my life.
It’s hard not to feel a little responsable.
But that’s not logic.
It’s emotions.
Each one of those deaths is a trauma alone,
Together it has to be overwhelming.
I hope you’re able to find peace with this.
Though I acknowledge how difficult that will be.
And don’t force yourself to snap out of it too quickly.
Have a good cry,
Curse the gods,
Do what you need to and know you can always continue to vent to us.
Sorry about your losses. At my age, 62, I have seen a lot of death now. I try not to wonder why, but remember and appreciate the time we had together.
My very close friend commit suicide too.it devastating.sorry for your loss
I’m sorry, Llama. That’s a lot of trauma to deal with. I’m so sorry you lost so many friends.
Remember the good times, remember them in their best moments.
Could you go for a walk? It’s not really a fix, but maybe it’ll help you process some emotions, before the emotions get too strong. Is there a park that has private areas? Maybe you could go there to have a good cry, if you’re able to cry.
(hugs)
Thank you for kind words and shared stories.
I appreciate you all.
I jumped on my moms trampoline for a while to get some chemicals flooding.
Could really use a cigarette. Lol
yeah i had an ex who died in 2013. missed the funeral. i still swear it was a suicide. found out she taught negotiation at harvard at some point. i knew she was quoted in a book about difficult negotiations but she only told me she taught powerpoint presentations at harvard night school.
My friend markos was always telling me to do opioids. Well he really encouraged me to do heroin once. I was stupid psychotic listened to him but wasn’t into it. And he later died of a heroin od I only talked to him maybe twice after that happened before he died.
Markos I always looked up too but I didn’t understand why he wanted me to do opioids. Now it makes more sense but it’s sad.
A friend from childhood Sean we were the best of friends at first and then he turned on me a bit. We were against each other when he saw me again at 19 years old. But then at 27 years old we made up in a restaurant. He was with a rapper named Chris webby and I was with a woman who knew Sean too by coincidence they were neighbors. It tripped me out they showed up. Well Sean had this look when I said my name like omg and he hugged me. He was so down to earth chill to me now. And I said I was a fan of the rapper and we got a pic together but I was nervous af. But then a year later Sean died of a heroin od too. Then on his birthday a year and a half later I hallucinated in a mirror on that I was him he winked at me then I asked a psychic about it she said he was saying he’s somewhere and he loves you. Idk life is crazy man. I’m glad we’re still going strong. With this illness and addiction I’ve had some close breaks but learned my lessons. Weed only now lol.
Society would like you to believe that we all live long and prospered lives
The reality is sickness and death reaches out to everyone
In my lifetime I have lost as far as family goes:
1 great grandparent
4 grandparents
1 cousin to suicide
1 cousin who fell off a catwalk while working on a theatre production at a college.
1 uncle
1 sister to cancer
I am almost 49. The list is sure to grow.
Grandparents
Mother in law ( so young)
Two cousins under 30 years of age both overdosed.
And quite a lot of old school friends.
More pain to come to us all. And we will pain many who love us
I’ve also lost a lot in my life @Ooorgle . So I empathize.
You often ask your Higher Power, why them and not me?
There’s seriously something to be said about survivor’s guilt.
I’ve learned to find beauty in the Great Mystery of it all.
i had two friends that killed themselves that i know of( there could be more ). one had paranoid schizophrenia/addiction and the other was Bi Polar. neither were yet 30 years old yet. i never grieved their deaths, i never grieved a death in my life, i think it may be that i didnt believe in death or thar i have rarely let myself feel. they werent very close friends but i had done things with them a number of times. i think about them still today but only feel the presence of one.
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