An old friend died on Thursday. We were best friends all through primary and secondary school, but lost touch after that, and I hadn’t seen her for nearly 20 years. I keep crying, and feel hollow and empty. I don’t understand the way I’m feeling, it doesn’t make sense that I should be grieving for someone I hadn’t had contact with for such a long time, and I am not thinking about her all the time yet I feel sad, tearful and empty. Hearing about her death was a real shock, yet I don’t feel like I have the right to grieve. I really don’t understand these feelings, I’m so down and depressed, but is it really over her death or am I just depressed because of my illness? I’m not sure how to deal with this…
Her death has made you reconnect with your past, with a time when you weren’t ill. Sometimes nostalgia takes the form of depression.
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I’m sorry about your Friend @Turquoise.
It’s natural to be grieving, especially if she was a close childhood friend.
Maybe when she died, a part of you died also.
Childhood memories remain strong.
It will take some time to heal.
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I’ve had three friends die this year. The first one who died I cried a lot. For days. And I was never ALL THAT close with her. It’s normal. But I’ve had 7 friends die heroin od last two years and now it stopped being worthy to cry over cuz it’s no shock anymore. I might still cry cuz I’m like “WHY ARE ALL THESE PPL DYING??” But not for the individual losses. I hope what happens to me don’t happen to you. Very sorry about your friend. I don’t blame u for crying. At all. It’s sad as hell when someone dies that u shared a bond with any point in ur life.
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We were very close, and those times were good times for us both. I just can’t get my head around someone dying at the young age of 35, I find it hard to understand death at all, how it happens, how a life can just end. It’s brought up a lot of difficult feelings. I’ve had school friends die from heroin too, and it’s always a shock, always sad, but L was never into drugs, she was a nurse and died from an infection (sepsis), it just seems so unfair that someone who was so giving should be taken so young. Death makes no sense to me, it should be something that happens at the end of a long life, not to someone young. It’s a lot of confusing, overwhelming feelings. It reminds me of my own mortality too, which scares the hell out of me, because I don’t believe I will ever die but facing this makes it come into reality.
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Socrates had been sentenced to death for some fabricated crimes. His wife told him “darling, I am devastated, you will die innocent!” To which he replied: “would me dying guilty make you feel better?!”
A death is a great loss and nobody deserves to die young, be it a nurse or a heroin addict. There is no planning behind death, just randomness. And grievance is always appropriate.
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I read Socrates said as he was being poisoned “I enjoyed my life, now I get to see what death is like. Who knows , maybe it’ll be better than life! Maybe everything will turn black and nothing will matter!” You get the gist. But ya there’s probably a lot of stories about Socrates death. But he was a wise man regardless.
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We are all going to die, it’s just we aren’t exactly sure…
Grieve for the loss of your friend, but don’t shed tears for your own life while your still breathing. It takes too much time best spent on the road to that illusive place called happiness.
One day you’ll be looking back at the life you’ve had, and hopefully there will be joy for you to remember
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