Not just mental illness…
Every condition..
I have enough trouble with my problems, don’t have capacity for the next person’s. Not everyone can be Mother Theresa.
2 Likes
Didn’t understand,what you ment to say..
Mostly guilt they cant do anything
1 Like
1 Like
You are very kind..
I think the reason is because they see you from above,like I don’t want to participate in another person’s pain.
Then start to gossip behind you’re back.
1 Like
I don’t feel guilt. I am just very aware of my limits and how exceeding them will make me sick, too.
I dont think didappearing when someone is sick is taking care of yourself. I can understand if they become problematic
2 Likes
I function on a much lower than normal dose of APs by carefully managing my stress. This means I have a thin safety margin I have to function within to maintain control over positive symptoms and insight. If I go outside of these parameters it punches up my positives and I can lose my grip on my insight.
Dealing with other people who are very ill is stressful. If I am not careful I’ll wind up sick, too. I came close to relapse so many times the year my BFF was dying of cancer. It beat the absolute hell out of me. If he wasn’t my bestie I would have been gone in minutes, but for him I stuck around to the end.
When my mother was sick,no one was there..
One lady borrowed us car for her to go on chemo..
I always stand with someone who is in crisis,even if it means I’d be overwhelmed..
My best friend died of suicide.
He lived with his mother,and in intervals of hospitalisation,kept coming.
One time it was a snow storm,but I went.
Other “friends” kept telling each other how he was fat,called him lunatic etc.
2 Likes
The more help you need, the less you get.
And
The less help you need, the more you get.
It’s the law.
3 Likes
I tend to agree. It’s hard to leave people who are hurting even if it costs you something. But I get what shutter is saying too. If I had more to lose maybe I’d be more selfish with the resources I’d have.
Well, for me, I hate to say this cause it sounds mean…
But I think most people can only handle so much “whining” over and over again about the same thing…
Like for example-
If someone (me or my friend) were going through a breakup… You get tired of hearing about it…
Or, I hate to say this even more, if people are constantly down in the dumps.. it gets tiring listening to them…
I have a couple friends who have bad depression and every time I talk to them it’s doom and gloom… Even if I try to talk about something positive it’s always depressing..
OR, when I was first diagnosed after my first psychosis… ALL I could talk about was my illness… Sooo, I imagine a few people got very tired of that as well.. I don’t blame them. It was probably annoying and uncomfortable for them…
1 Like
This is so goddamn true. Did you come up with this yourself?
1 Like
Yes I did.
But @77nick77 came up with it by himself too years ago.
So it’s a favourite saying for both of us.
1 Like
Ayah. There are exceptions, but they’re rare.
I was there through my mom’s decline.
I was there when my gran declined and all the other family fled.
I was there for Ray.
I’ll be there for my wife, if need be. Or my kid. Even my cat.
Anyone else? You’re on your own. Sorry, the tank is close to empty.
2 Likes
You should sell t shirts lol
1 Like
Hope I didn’t offend. Selfish was the wrong word. I’m also no implying that every time someone you know is falling apart should swoop in and save them. I’m just saying personally that if someone I’m close too is having a hard time and they want the help I usually give it.
Thats good. Jsut speaking from experience, as someone whos best friend never could be there for them, it sucks being on the receiving end lf that. I ended that “friendship” dueing my last mixed episode when i was about to be homeless and needed any support and she told me “i hope you can find some” .
Meanwhile i went through a tramatic event with her and helped get her to safety and stuck around beyond that.
Who sticks around says a lot.
It doesnt always matter the circumstances.
1 Like
It’s okay to be selfish, too. People need to establish and enforce boundaries for their own well-being. It sounds nice to say you’ll be there for everyone who needs it, but that’s not realistic or possible. Everyone has limits. I have learned mine the hard way and do my best to stay inside them. My wife does her best to make me sick AF by pushing those limits with her friends and family at every opportunity. I give myself very low odds of still being married by the end of the summer. Part of this is because I am getting very aggressive about my limits.
1 Like