So this question makes me think.
I feel like ive not come across people I can relate to, as friends. I don’t have enough in common.
And that gives me GREAT anxiety when people don’t understand me. Or judge me negatively or have higher/unrealistic expectations
I sometimes feel I’m not worthy to have friends but that seems very self defeating way to think…
For me I talk about myself too much.
Healthy people always say that others like to talk about themselves. But I don’t ask many questions bc it always feels like gathering leverage. My life unfolded with too many sinister experiences.
I call it ‘cutting bone’ bc I get deep about my disorder. Not helping is that I seriously think it’s kind of cool.
What do u mean by gathering leverage?
I’m incubating.
Brain’s not well enough to be physically social, so I just get a watered down version of socializing online.
@anon90843118
I think you’re awesome. I have insecurities about my looks, especially being physically I’ll, too. We have that in common, the insecurities.
I think you’re beautiful in every way.
In college I was so innocent. But on my first real job I got attracted to ‘a girl in uniform’, I guess. It’s not the worst thing that happened to me ever but then again I was only 22 .
On the job and reading the Internet was the first time I learned that ‘information is power’. That an a fascination with mafia movies (at the time) didn’t serve me.
When I talk/ I feel like I’m saying something on cynicism. I almost am submitting but people over time don’t ‘agree’ with that so much either.
I truly think this happens to some personalities out there.
I don’t mind you talking about yourself, just sometimes I find you hard to understand because of the way you write and the way my brain is lol…
And I don’t like to ask someone to rephrase so much, but I get the gist 
Thankyouu. That’s so sweet of you.
I think you are a beautiful person too.
Hope we will both be OK health wise.
Thanks for that. I’ll try and be less ‘pretentious’ a word that feels accurate as I post here. You’re the third to comment about me being difficult to understand, so I’ll try and communicate better. Funny enough I hate acronyms so at least I don’t fall victim to that.
I don’t know if it’s pretentious, probably not…
have a good day 
I have never felt insecure. I am always super confident and never shy. Those didn’t change after my SZ. These are personality traits and never change. You are born with your personality.
I took 4 psychology courses in my university and got 3 A’s and a B.
I had a friend who was so much insecure that he had social phobia, he gets a panick attack when he is surrounded by ppl. I tried helping him but that never worked. His personality will never change.
That’s really sad about your friend
I don’t get panic attacks Thnks God but I do get Depersonalisation and mute too sporadically
Are u planning on pursuing a career in psychology or physiotherapy?
I already have a major degree in physiotherapy and I tried working but I was never able to. I worked in a gym as a kinesiologist for a week, got stressed and then quit. I was also lazy because of negative symptoms, I wake up and don’t go to work. I quit 15 different jobs. Even the high salary didn’t motivate me, it was double the minimum wage.
As for psychology maybe when they find a cure for SZ. My psy teacher asked me if I wanted to do a degree in psy because I was in the top 5 in some classes.
I think it is the opposite. You are worthy of having friends. You are a normal person therefore you are worthy of having friends!
Yea I understand the work struggles, hopefully the future will allow it…
Thanks!
I agree with you 
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