There have been a couple of high profile cases in the U.S. where the rape accusation actually was false. Talk about damage done to the civil discourse. There have been times where different guys have let me know that they have committed rape before. Some guys make a regular practice of it. It’s more common than a lot of people think.
I’m of the opinion that every accused is innocent until proven guilty. I’d rather see some guilty men go free than have guilty men incarcerated.
The accusation ruins lives as much as the act ruins lives.
There is a strong push with the ME Too culture to just believe every victim. This is how black men and boys ended up lynched years ago.
Do you mean 'Than have innocent men incarcerated ’ ?
The thing is cases should be judged on the facts/ their merit and not on the personal prejudices either way of jurors.
I didn’t mean to capitalize it, no.
I wouldn’t say I believe men, but when it comes to the MeToo thing, I do feel like some women exploit the press it’s gained to jump on the bandwagon and harm people’s reputations.
I know it’s victim blaming to say “they should have reported it when it happened”, but if they’ve waited 20 years to say something, why say something now? One thing is to say it to a counsellor or someone who might help them, but what could they possibly gain from saying it on Instagram or Twitter?
It’s not like the cops can do anything about it after a certain amount of time.
I was abused. I want as little attention for it as possible, exept to talk it out with someone who knows how to help me through the trauma. I feel like if the women were really traumatized, they wouldn’t want attention for it by posting it on facebook and twitter and instagram for the world to see.
It seems fishy.
I don’t understand where all the conclusions and claims in this article are coming from. The only relevant information she provides is that less than a third of young men prosecuted for rape are convicted and that young men are less likely to be convicted than older men. This says nothing about the appropriateness of these decisions. It says nothing about the soundness of the judicial process. There is no logical link between the information she provides and the conclusions she comes to.
I think society encourages men to be aggressive and women to be passive. A lot of guys on this site who don’t have girlfriends likely don’t because we are too passive. I’ve heard many schizophrenics are tactile defensive which I am unfortunately which has kept me out of trouble generally but also helped keep me from making any real moves on women. Another problem is we feel we are being watched all the time and like animals we don’t tend to mate when we are watched. And yes many of us are unemployed and in poverty. I’m not saying however that schizophrenic men don’t have Me Too things written about us and each schizophrenic case is different. Women who don’t object to men making physical moves on them end up having sex. Women who do object cry out rape or make Me Too statements. Some guys say women don’t always make it clear what they want or assume falsely that they don’t. It a difficult subject matter.
Not to attack you, but I don’t really agree with that… I think it is different for everyone how they deal with that.
I was sexually abused as a child. I never told anyone - I was afraid, ashamed, felt it was my fault, wanted to protect the perpetrator, pushed the emotions way and also didn’t want to blow up the whole family, and I was to small to really grasp the whole thing. It had a major influence on my life though, without me seeing that. And when I finally crashed 20 years later… it was an overwhelming relief to break the silence. I told the perpetrator (and got a “sorry” and him moving further away from us, so we didn’t meet anymore), I told my family and pressed for them to acknowledge the issue (they finally understood some things, like why I suddenly became “difficult” and anxious as a child, and stopped blaming me for that) and I anonymously called child protection services and asked for advice because my perpetrator wanted to adopt a girl and I was scared of repetition with another child.
I have also been emotionally and sexually assaulted/abused as a grown up, by the father of my child. In this case as well, opening up was important. With a clear goal - protecting my child.
For me it was of enormous value to open up. I never really posted it on facebook or so, didn’t feel the need to. But perhaps for someone else, this is their way of opening up and healing.
Right now I openly talk about being abused at times. I’m not asking attention for it, but I’m also not hiding it.
It feels really as a liberation to be open about this and no longer ashamed!
Seriously, Blizzard? This is some of the worst victim blaming I’ve seen. “Some guys say women don’t make it clear”? And? There’s an effing ocean between that and rape or sexual harassment. I don’t see how you could think this is relevant at all. I’m actually completely shocked that you would stoop to this level. And women don’t “cry out rape” when they dislike sexual advances. Who told you this? How on earth did you come to believe this? Claims of having been raped are not made lightly. This is pretty disturbing, Blizzard.
I think it is one thing to not judge someone when there is no proof.
But right now, at least in my experience, police and child protection services are actively covering up abuse of all sorts.
When I wanted to report to the police that the father of my child abused/threatened both me and our child and I had proof… their response was I couldn’t officially report it and “btw, what did YOU yourself do wrong?”.
When child protection services got involved they eufemistically called sexual assault, threats of kidnapping and death, etc… “a conflictuous relationship”. They left admitted assaults out of their reports with the specific goal of pushing through visitation rights. They told me “a psychopath can be a nice father as well”. Etcetera.
Of course, you shouldnt convict someone when there is no proof. But now the opposite is happening… clear cases of sexual assault and other abuse are actively covered up.
One thing is to be open about it with family and friends, and mentioning it in a conversation if it becomes relevant.
Another thing is to blast it on a public page like fb or twitter, gaining massive attention for it.
I know people heal differently, but when someone twitters “this guy groped me 15 years ago, I’m soooo triggered”, I can’t help but feel they’re doing it for publicity and attention, not healing.
I also felt relief when I finally opened up about my abuse, but I did it in private settings with family and friends, I would never put it on Facebook for all to see.
@Pikasaur: I understand what you mean… 
I think there are all sorts of motivations to put something out in the open like that though… one could be attention seeking behaviour, another could be wanting to change something in the world, or wanting to make a ritual for yourself to stop being ashamed of it, or… etcetera. Some are “positive”, some are “negative”.
I think opening up about abuse on social media is fine, even though our society does glorify public openness about personal struggles. This is not always a good thing. But when people start naming others on social media for crimes that can’t be disproven or brought to the legal system, that’s a big problem. Like what’s been happening in Hollywood.
As someone that’s worked in web writing pretty much since it began to be used for marketing, people write opinion as fact. Conclusions and wild theories are used just for clickbait ad revenue makers.
Doesn’t change my general opinion of innocent until proven guilty. Just due process here (US for anyone not familiar)
It is ugly a lot of times and there are miscarriages of justice on both parts
I think the main issue the article author is raising is the relative reluctance to render a guilty verdict on a younger man because of the possible/probable future repercussions to the younger man of doing so.
That should not be a consideration in deciding whether to find someone innocent or guilty. What should matter is the evidence.
Of course,but it should be based on the evidence not jurors’ prejudices either way.
This also seems like pure speculation. She says “prosecutors believe…”. That’s not evidence. That’s not even a source. It’s a weasel word.