I’m not sure where to ask this so asking here instead of my other on line haunts
I’m sure the 1 in 4 is a complete statistical pile of s***
I think it’s virtually all women , in the UK
anyway… God knows about rural Scandinavia etc but in the UK it’s everyone
I’m wondering if it’s a guarantee if born female
I could be so hugely wrong though
Some days I feel like this too. Out of all my friends and family members, I would say at least half have been sexually assaulted at some point. The 25-30% statistics are educated guesses at best, because so few women ever admit it happened to them.
Yeah, thinking of this, I realize that I only know one woman who I am certain was not raped. Everyone else: yes, or I don’t know.
If I remember correctly the attitude towards women I found all around me in high school which I always at least met with silence if not challenge, then I don’t doubt that it happened so much. I’ve never been able to comprehend the mentality it takes to even want to do that to someone. I was driving one night when a friend in the backseat said out of the blue: “You know I think I understand date rape” And I’m just like WTF dude!?
Just something I’ve never been able to wrap my mind around that makes my life experience and current circumstances all THAT much more inane.
I was sexually abused as a kid by my dad’s friend. my partner was raped repeatedly by her step brother. my mom was molested by her step father. and I know for sure one cousin was abused by the same man as me. that alone is quite a bit but still its still messed up.
My big sister used to do things to me. She pretty much controlled me, my entire life and I couldn’t say or do anything about it.
I have not met anyone else who has been molested, though.
I seriously doubt that a 100% of women in the U.K.have been raped. As everybody knows lots of rapes go unreported so the statistics may be off because of that. But I doubt every women has been raped.
I will tell you what.
When I was with a friend, she asked a mutual friend to buy as all drinks as we were all under age. So me and the first friend are drunk and alone. She comes on to me, and one thing leads to another. Months later I’m being yelled at with things like “you got me drunk”, and “you waited for me to drink to take advantage of me.” And you know who initiated the whole thing from the drinking and the mutual touching? Her. But that’s not what everybody else heard. And I don’t know what to say to people now because of them maybe knowing false information.
And it’s hard to tell if people who turned their back on me did so because of that story or because of my psychosis. Even simple interactions become misread and I think they are mistreating me because they might know this story. Same as @mussel I do not understand the mindset needed to do something like that to someone. I would never do that to someone, I am not power starved. I could go grab someone from that bar and do this but I already know the problems it causes already. I do not wanna do that with someone.
But with all things, it helps to know someone who has been through the same thing. And I know someone who used to be a security guard at the area and he had a similar experience happen to him. I have not seen him in awhile but I’d hope to talk to him about his experience a bit more because he only mentioned it briefly before.
I think most of the people on this site are getting a skewed sample because we are more likely to be surrounded by dysfunctional people who have been abused. It goes with the territory.
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according to a friend of mine who is a volunteer at a women’s shelter, about 60% of rapes and sexual assaults go unreported.
As for my own personal experiences with such things? At 14 I was accued of rape by a girl who was pissed because I told her she was a skank and that I wouldn’t date her. I spent some time in jail, and even had charges broguth against me. For two years it was my word vs hers and no one believed me because hey? what girl lies about rape? Finally a new prosecutor took over when the old one retired. He looked at her statements, al taken over the course of a week, and noticed that her story changed drastically with each one, and that my alibi was rock solid. I was out of state at a funeral with 200 witnesses. Needless to say all charges were dropped.
Also my GF was assault by her ex which is why she broke up with him. Learned an interesting fact that way actually, he TRIED to force her but her roommate hit him over the head with a wine bottle, she is actually still a virgin. Gotta say that’s a find in a 24 year old…
One time me and a friend were with this girl who had gotten very drunk and decided she wanted to take us both on. It’s ironic that though she was shouting “Why not?” we could have been charged with rape if we had obliged her. She was too drunk to give consent. Alcohol ruins sex anyway.
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The irony is that when a drunk woman has sex with a sober man, it is rape. When a drunk man has sex with a sober woman, he is just lucky. So for some reason drunk women are deemed as less able to consent than drunk men.
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It’s unlikely 100% yes I agree
I think I mean within their lifetimes
Why are you arguing about consent? And coming down as on side of the perpetrator?
Consent is a really simple issue- see below when I find the link
It’s not needed, men are already protected by this kind of thinking - no further need to protect them
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I’m not arguing about consent. I’m just saying we do not treat men and women equally when it comes to rape and consent. And men can be raped too, they are not always the perpetrator. You are wrong about there not being a need to protect men from rape.
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Well in the meantime, my mum was molested by her grandfather raped by her husband and someone broke into the house and raped her in front of her 3 year old daughter my father bought my little sister to a pedophile ring, she was then raped most nights by her partner and gang raped in a hotel and raped by some other arse hole who drugged her
My sister who died. Was repeatedly raped and battered into hospital by her boyfriend
I was raped by 2 men who gave me rohypnol
Not to mention the stuff that goes on in the lifetime of my recovering addict friends
I’m not defending rape. Rape is despicable no matter how it happens. And yes, men are more often the perpetrator than the victim. But none of this means we should close our eyes to the unequal treatment of men and women in the legal system and society in general when it comes to rape OR the many men who have also been raped. And I do empathize with you. What you told here shouldn’t happen to anyone, it is horrible.
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I do wonder why - on line there is such a need for this caveat at all times - I did say (usually women) in my post
Women are overwhelmingly the abused… Men are overwhelmingly protected by women’s silence and difficulty of proof or just not reporting it
I considered myself a rapist in my first love affair because it was with a 16 year old. I was 20. I molested my sister. My brother and the butler had a hand in it too. I might have raped a woman in the mental hospital although she seemed to consent. I mistreated a young girl there too. I myself am a rape victim. Something that happened to me when I was 29 in a detention center. Men need to learn respect for women’s bodies. Women need to trust men and not have that trust betrayed.
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