Where im at

Ive just got a new girlfriend I wonder why she is with my as im mostly monged out on medication and not really myself amd dont talk alot … when we have sex I cant get a boner really amd if I do I cum real quick dunno if this is a side effect. Sometimes I feel I want my old self back and my old life it was great. Im 2 and a half years in drug addiction recovery and see people moving forward with life and making the dreams come true I get so jelous amd wish I wasnt me I feel aqward and umcomfortable in my skin and my head tries to isolate me. Im not sure if il ever recover from skitzaphernia amd that makes me sad as I will never be mysepf again while medicated and move forward in life I dont think I have the strenght to be like this the rest of my life im only 23 and most people would say I have tje rest of my life ahead of me but been a skitzaphernic I dont look forward to years of living this way
needed to get that stuff outta my head.

At least your girlfriend is still with you. Maybe she accepts you for who you actually are rather than what you’d like to be or something she wants to change you into. If the problems you describe are not something she complains about then she’ll likely hang around. It’s difficult to watch others do better than you but as long as you have people who love you, food in the fridge, and a place to stay other than a street corner, a prison, or a Psych Hospital like so many others like us it’s not as bad as it could be.


Shes really understanding im aware she likes me for who I am just that thought in the back of my head … how can she like me