When's the right time...?

If I do end up living with him i think i’d want to be at least engaged… if not married… but I am not sure why I feel that way… it’s like him telling me he’d want to be married to have kids… :confused:


I think you should live together before you get married, but waiting until you’re engaged is alright.
It all depends on the culture and your opinions on it.

I wouldn’t want to be engaged to someone I hadn’t lived with for at least a couple of years. And I wouldn’t want to live with someone I hadn’t been going steady with for at least a year.

But that’s because I’m the kind of person who wants to be absolutely sure I know the person and our compatibility, and because my society looks down on people who rush things without seeming like they’ve thought things through.


Living together before marriage might tell each of you a bit of how a marriage would be.

From your post, I gather you dont want to marry?
Perhaps I misunderstood.

Why the switch-a-roo refered to in your post?

I can only guess you want to feel certain that he is atleast considering marriage and your not just a roommate with benifits?

If he refuses kids with no marriage involved it is because he wants to do more than pay(child support) to babysit his own kids every saturday?


I agree, live with him before marriage.
This would be ideal.

I think there is no rule in place, but living together would allow you two to know each other more intimately before considering the big step. However there are slso married couples who don’t live under the same roof. To each their own.

Yeah you make up the rules as you go along. Whatever works for you both and being engaged isn’t a bad compromise to see how things work.

@anon80629714, Living with a man is no guarantee that they will be a good husband. I lived with my boyfriend for three years before marrying him. He didn’t get abusive until I was married and pregnant.

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Well, there’s a million pros and cons to living with each other prior to marriage (if getting married eventually is your plan.) Like most people mentioned, a good school of thought is if you live together first you will get know each other better to see if you would be compatible and if you can stand each other in such closed quarters and if you can accept each others annoying habits and you both would see what you’re getting into if you got married. Because I guarantee you will both have things about each other you don’t like and in close quarters you are going to discover these things. But if you like each another enough you can get used to them.

But the whole argument boils down to individual couples. What’s right for one couple may not work for another couple.

I wanna live with a guy before I get married. I know traditionally it’s frowned upon but to me it just makes logical sense. There are some people who you can get along with fantastically and be best friends but you just can’t live together and doing so destroys the friendship. I would rather know if that was the situation before I’m bound to them via marriage.

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