He thinks getting married right now won’t be a good idea because we aren’t even living together… we want to buy a property but it’s not that easy… I like that he takes things slow, but at the same time it drives me up the wall… I know he’s being sensible but why … I just want things done now
1 Like
Maybe you guys need to pin a date. Might give you something to look forward to.
1 Like
It’s a good idea to live together before marriage. Yes
3 Likes
I think relationships need to be two individuals with their own opinion, that is respected by the other.
A marriage needs two consenting partners.
You want it. He doesn’t (now). That is something you can only respect. Unless you really don’t want to live together before marriage or so. But forcing or subtly pressing him into something he doesn’t want doesn’t seem like a good idea.
Marriage is not getting something done. It is a free choice out of love.
2 Likes
Are you guys engaged?
You mentioned ring shopping.
1 Like
Hahaha I wish… 
he wants to move in with me first…
2 Likes
Best way to get a Man to act, is to cut off his bonking privileges. When they are not getting their leg over - they usually change their mind 
2 Likes
lol we haven’t you know in 4 years… but thats because its something im working through
1 Like
@anon25873142 , I’d be concerned if my partner kept dragging his feet on marriage if I wanted it and he didn’t.
I mean to the point of separation.
I feel like he’s dangling a carrot in front of you that you’re chasing but never going to get.
That’s not fair to you. You have dreams of a certain life that he’s not letting you have.
If this continues for too long you’ll resent him for it and you won’t be a happy couple.
I’m not trying to hurt you by saying this but I’m worried about how much he’ll hurt you emotionally
4 Likes
It sounds like he is messing you about. I think you’re wasting your time with him. If it were me I would end it and find someone else before I got older.
3 Likes
Thank you @LilyoftheValley, but I told myself a few years ago that if this doesn’t work out, I probably won’t give relationships another go… if this doesn’t work out, I am done with relationships… I agree though I don’t understand why he is taking so much time over it it really does hurt me…
my mum says i don’t have to marry him to live with him, and to be honest I am in two minds about marriage but I seem to want to more than not.
1 Like
As I mentioned I don’t intend to find someone else if this does not work out … im done with any kind of relationship… not me being negative, but from past experience its mostly been about sex and this guy isn’t all about it…I mean we haven’t in 4 years and he’s still been there for me.
1 Like
That’s exactly what I was worried about. I’m sorry to hear that.
1 Like
It’s nothing to worry about I am happy with my own company too because if the relationship is mostly about psychical intimacy id rather be alone.
2 Likes
I don’t think we will ever get married, at least not anytime soon. And that’s the only thing that bugs me about him. I have no doubts he wants to marry, and I know he would if circumstances were different.
Also, if we get married and live together financially I would be far worse off, meaning I would have to rely on him… and I don’t want that… I am sick of feeling this way about it. I just wish I didn’t want to, its just a piece of paper at the end of the day right?
This is manipulative though and not a good way to be
1 Like
If you haven’t slept with him for four years I think waiting for marriage makes sense.
Are you going to make love the night of the wedding?
He may be waiting to see if you change btw
1 Like
How long have you been together?
1 Like
Oh lighten up. It was said tongue in cheek.