When your in psychosis

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1

Does anyone replay all the crazy stuff they did during psychosis? I’ve been replaying some crazy things in my head. Makes me a upset and also very thankful I’m alive or didn’t kill anyone.
The memory that sticks out the most is when I had a .22 rifle and was pointing it at my tinted window at a guy at the bus stop cause I thought he was gonna shoot me. I remember hearing this girl say, “does he have a gun?!” She couldn’t have easily called the cops on me and I would’ve been in jail.
Another memory is following the clouds all the way to Canada. Then telling the border police that I was “following the weather”. I spent the night in canadien jail that night after they searched my car and found two guns. On the way home the next morning I drove through snow drifts going like 70mph. Could have easily lost control of the car and hit oncoming traffic.

Just scary ya know? Thank god for medicine even if it does make me feel like ■■■■.

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2

I’m pretty lucky to be here myself.

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3

It sounds like you need to get rid of your guns to keep you from accidentally hurting someone

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4

They are gone. Border patrol took one and my parents took the other one. I had bought a pistol cause I was paranoid Asians were taking over the town. I thought they were aliens. I could have easily been on the news as a Penn State murderer. Thank god for my brother realizing something was wrong and coming to get me.

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5

I’m also pretty lucky things weren’t worse.

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6

Wow. I’m so glad he did realize you were off

7

Alll from a phone call. He drove up from Maryland. My parents came too and took me home. I went to the hospital the same night cause I thought my parents were trying to eat me.

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8

I think a lot of us can say we got lucky. Maybe we are blessed in a sick way.

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9

How scary that must have been for you! I’m so glad you’re ok now

10

i got lucky a lot too… my mum always says i have like someone watching over my shoulder from up there and keeping me safe.

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11

Yeah. I’ve just been replaying it in my head a lot lately. Keeps me up at night. I know I should just blame the sickness but I can’t totally. I should have gotten help earlier. I was a psych major in college and kinda thought to myself I might have schizophrenia. But the schizophrenia just took over

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12

Yeah. I drove on the sidewalks of penn states campus like I was a university official. Only at night time. I remember doing it in front of these girls and hearing them go “damnnn” lol

13

So initially you had insight. That’s great. Now when you notice you’re off you can immediately call your pdoc.

14

Yeah. Luckily I only get small paranoia attacks now. I can feel it coming and just have to lay down in bed till it passes. Can be from 30 mins to a few hours.

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15

That’s good @pasteyface

16

When I was in the State Hospital, I saw a lot of people missing parts of their bodies. You know, a foot here and couple digits there.

17

Scary. When my dad stopped to pee I saw him with no penis. I thought he was an alien too. Schizophrenia is messed up

18

The worst thing I did was drive erratically under psychosis. I could have easily caused a serious accident. I was lucky that didn’t happen. Mad times.

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I’m Asian, and I’m not taking over your town. Plus, I’m physically disabled.

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I understand that now. It was just me being crazy. Majority of the people on campus were international students because it was winter break. I think that’s what triggered that thought.