Did you imagine you would suffer schizophrenia? I always imagine myself as a trash recollector so my dreams were humble, but I never imagined I would have schizophrenia and OCD. It is fault of my family I think. I was young when the illness began to manifest. But I’m recovering, that’s the good thing, I’m not easy to defeat hehe
I’ve had issues since I was a kid, so while I didn’t think I’d ever have something as severe and debilitating as sz, having a mental illness is not surprising.
I was on Ritalin as a child when I was in foster homes. ended up in psych ward when I was 17. when I got discharged I cold turkey my meds. Basically cause I hated my psych doctor couldn’t stand the guy. I ended up going without meds for 4 years. worst 4 years of my life I started smoking crack and weed and alcohol ecstasy mushrooms. Almost did myself in and when I was 21 I got diagnosed with sza was in denial for a long time about sza. Then I started seeing the symptoms. no longer in denial now. Took a while but I had this new psych since 21 the same one who diagnosed me he’s really cool and very funny. Now im 30 I wanted to be a pipeliner when I was a kid. the same thing my dad did. O Ya in 2006 when I was drying out from crack cocaine. That same a hole I had when I was 17 told me this Isent a holiday inn. When I was in psych ward. I can’t believe he’s a doctor
I’m not surprised, honestly, looking back on my childhood. I had a lot of problems. Some form of mental illness was bound to happen.
I totally feel you on that. My csa and growing up in an alcoholic home. Yes, it’s bound to happen. I struggle everyday. It’s hard. But we survive.
My life is a blur …
I’ve had my illness since as long as I can remember. Im still surprised that I saw literally no signs of psychosis in myself until my friend pointed it out when I was nearly 17. I got really into psychology in middle school and studied all kinds of illnesses including schizophrenia. I even knew I had dealt with depression, but did not put two and two together about the psychosis at all.
HIndsight is a wonderful thing! I’ve always been a little different and remember ocd behavior in the first years of school. I didn’t get diagnosed till I was 29 so a lot of wasted years suffering with symptoms. Never knew much about sz but had had a depressive break with some paranoid overtones. I’d just learned to live with a certain level of paranoia so it did come as a surprise for sure!
I always felt kinda weird and like an outsider when I was a kid up through my pre-diagnosis years.
Looking back on the things I’ve experienced in my life my sza doesn’t really surprise me. At least not at this point in my life.
Mostly everything is a haze. But I remember I got manic very quickly and them I should talk a lot of ■■■■ and everybody was laughing at me. I knew I was different, after a los in family the symptoms kick in at age 14, did not get diagnoaticated until 18
I was always different. I didn’t get sick until 35. got to go to college…I value my degree even though I didn’t get to use it long. I put a lot of houses on the ground that I designed. I am happy about that…
No, it never once crossed my mind. Setting aside my autism spectrum disorder (‘pervasive developmental disorder’ as it was then termed), I had no personal history of mental illness in the usual sense - not even depression!
What I remember about my childhood is being relaxed and confident. But I also remember my childhood having its problems. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time so I could correct some of the mistakes I made during my childhood.
I grew up in a REALLY abusive home and then I quickly progressed to alcoholism and drug use in my early teens. SZ wasn’t on my radar, day-to-day survival was.
I dreamt of being married and having lots of kids. And being happy.
To be honest I was born this way I didn’t think it was abnormal or a bad thing til I started going to school. That’s when people started treating me bad…
I do, back when I was a child I always threat my mom that I will commit a suicide if she will not buy me new toys. I play with a knife just to get my families attention.
I did a lot of fun, typical things growing up. Me and my friends would play sports a lot between ourselves, we rode our bikes everywhere, we went fishing, we went to the beach a lot or the semi-famous Santa Cruz Beach & Boardwalk. Later as we grew older our fun was a lot less innocent. We started smoking pot and dropping LSD, we stole stuff we wanted, we vandalized stuff etc. We weren’t bad kids but we did some bad things.
But I have always been shy and withdrawn and as I grew older I didn’t talk to most people except for my friends. I will be self centered and egotistical here and say that I was the last person who should’ve got schizophrenia. I’m exaggerating. But I was not well adjusted as a kid, I never felt liked, and never said two words to anyone except my friends.
And even then when girls came into the picture my friends were better looking than me and had girls telling them how cute they were. I don’t think I got a compliment about my looks until I was twenty or twenty one. And it happened rarely after that. But yeah, schizophrenia almost destroyed me but the reason I’ve survived and accomplished anything was partly because no one could tell I have the disease. I will give myself credit for working, I’ve had lots of help but it was me who went out searching for jobs and once I got them it was me who got up at 6:00 am or 7:00 am and took the bus for more than an hour to get to work, often with a bus packed with school kids and did back breaking work.
This topic was automatically closed 14 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.