OK… So maybe my Sz is going away.
But God it’s an awful process. You know, down regulation hurts a lot more than up regulation. A Lot!!!
And you’d think one would be happy that it’s gone… Not true in my case… Even though the path looks nice up ahead I’m looking back at a junk yard. It’s really quite upsetting. =(
So I actually need support with this…
Yeah man I used to have a good day and get excited and then come crashing down back into the mess.
That’s not the way it works. Just gotta let it slowly pass, get worked up or think to hard about it and it’ll all resurface. Takes time for the brain to slip out of it.
I have to be brain silent for the most part and keep myself spaced out and not focusing on people.
Yeah, thanks. There’s also a high degree of confusion going on cycling through out my whole day and night and clearly linked to my confused moods. At least my moods are becoming less and less subject to my immediate surroundings… God THAT was hell.
Dude, you have been to hell. Here is your new favorite song: Been to Hell
If you have recovered, what looks to be natural remission, be proud of what you have experienced. You are the less than 1%.
And just remember that whatever ■■■■ life throws at you from now on, you have defeated worse.
Met a cool wolf once, we were kindred souls me and him.
He was gigantic and quite nice.
Humans should stop insulting the animals like this.
Alpha males WILL RULE THA WORLD EVENTUALLY.
Yeah I’ve been there. It’s like being dropped on another planet and everyone expects you know how to function. A lot of your perceptions are different, we don’t share the same reference points as others. Things that are supposed to be easy are hard because they are foreign.
Docs can really make this process worse. Remember to communicate the struggles you have to them. I feel like they expect us to be jumping for joy when the symptoms leave, and their job is done. Trying to integrate is hard. There is a lot of fear. I find that people tell me constantly to stop living in the past and to see where I am. I don’t believe I am living in the past. I believe there are things I’ve seen in the past and learned that I am scared will return. I monitor a lot to make sure I’m not going too far down one avenue of my brain. I have to. Docs know their role (whether or not they are good at it is a different topic) to try to treat us. They seem to be total ■■■■ when it comes to helping us when what they’ve done works.
This doesn’t sound like what I’m talking about at all. What you’re describing sounds like a relapse.
Not a relapse at all, it’s coming out of a strange reality. It’s not an instant fix.
RIGHT in the center of the bullseye for me.
Or better. But after nine years of the missing the target (actually shooting in the opposite direction altogether), I decided even after one of them did hit it that I was going to do everything I could to free myself from the delusion that medication is The Solution.
Yeah right? I mean if you have healthy DNA and a functioning immune system… Makes no sense to me… Unless freakin’ wall mart bought out my med suppliers…
Can you answer this question in the OP?
This has been roughly my experience… It’s possible to live a good life on meds I guess, its not the exact same thing though. I don’t like it it’s certainly not for me either…
Actually now that I think about it… I do suffer from fear but I also then feel like I’m invincible (beavis on coffee). In the the same day… Rapid mood swings… Neurological sensitivity… BRAIN ZAPS because I’m coming off of SSRIs …
My sleep schedule just shifted to being nocturnal from diurnal outa the blue… (But see I’m actually feeling solid and together my feelings are just changing its weird). Feelings are changing… My personality is changing… The way I talk is changing… However things are more clear and not in a manic way or flare up way. More like water settling in a pond after someone threw a rock in it.
What else… Oh yeah I got hyper sexual for a bit and now I’m not… Nipple pain is going away… My eyes are not rolling around in my eyeballs as viciously…
I experience delusional flare up for like an hour at a time per day or two then goes away and is easily controlled.
I had MIGRANES severe MIGRANES for like 4 months and wanted to slam my head through the wall… But here going away…
I can feel the biological changes in my body and it hurts (working right now would still be a joke- at least comfortably).
Massive mood swings…
Severe bouts of insightful confusion that cycle through the day…
I am still taking some meds… Been stepping down from 400mg seroquel per day in 50mg intervals. I have 100 mgs to go. Till i m meds free completely and comfortably…
Then given the current trajectory based on my body… I’d say it’s probably take me about another year after than before I’m totally 100% back to normal------ 100%.
This making sense to anyone?
Can anyone answer the OP?
BTW my point of reference is changing… As is implied…
It just hurts a lot…
Is your main worry that you have regrets about things that happened, or feel shame? I have had such episodes in my life where I would feel this way about. I do not have somthing like an easy fix, a cognitive trick that places such events in a different light instantaneously. But it is true that in my personal experience such periods come to stand in a different light with time. It is not that I’m particularly proud of certain episodes in my life. It is more that they have turned into mere givens with time. Events that seem to be beyond any appreciation positive or negative but which are just ‘there’ in my past. This is a lousy answer, the old ‘time heals all wounds.’
That’s actually just what I needed to hear.
It’s been too rough and humiliating… Destroys your view of humans…
My mom says, “Ha-ha sh17 happens!!! Crazy world!!!”
But I say, no you don’t understand: those is too much. It like having your whole family die, and you’re supposed to go back to being a happy productive person? Like you can’t just chalk up medical malpractice like this as “Crazy world”. It’s too bad. Lit.
How do you feel about the ‘it wasn’t me’ approach? Like, it wasn’t me it was the illness acting. Some people can find a lot of comfort in this.
I think medication can be a part of the solution but it’s seldom the only tool needed.
my schizophrenia seems to go away after just 1,5 year (7 month hospital) and one episode in total. voices have become silent and the only hallucinations i had were during the first months and were really insignificant. i dont miss the schizophrenia it only gave me a ■■■■ mood and weird unrealistic worldviews. hope this stays this way even after i drop my meds next month.
I have a great doc now. She’s an internal medicine doc but the best. She’s helped a ton. A lot of it is that she sees me and isn’t trying to make me conform. She said we have to figure what reality suits me and find a way for me to be happy and comfortable in that. I’ve fought docs on that before. While I have a great doc now, I had to cycle through closed minded ones for a few years.