Yesterday my sister and I went to visit my dad who is in assisted living about an hour and a half away. Anyway, that gives us over an hour of conversation each way, and she’s very talkative. I love this sister and have confided in her about many things. She wants to help and says things to encourage me. But, one of the things she says to encourage me is that I “don’t seem that bad”. This does not encourage me. I appreciate the sentiment, but feel hurt by her unwitting disregard considering everything I’ve shared with her.
I was overlooked and neglected for so long and I have been really strong, but I guess I really do want some sympathy/empathy now. Is it wrong to just want to hear “holy sh*t!” sometimes?
Maybe she’s thinking “holy sh*t!” , but wants to say something to encourage you. 
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You’re probably right. I think the real issue is how tired I am of hiding my suffering and seeming “not so bad”.
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I have a sister who I don’t like very much. I’ve tried explaining some things to her to give her some insight and understanding about what psychosis is and what it is to be psychotic or delusional.
She still uses those terms to insult mentally healthy people. She’s an ignorant coward.
Mr Turtle’s sister has severe autism and a developmental disorder. My sister was visiting once with her girlfriend and they were having a laugh at “retarded” people and making a “funny” voice to display how a person with problems talks.
They thought it was hilarious. I thought it was downright offensive.
This doesn’t really relate to your story, and I’m sorry I kind of went off on a tangent, but there are some pretty horrible and ignorant people out there.
I’m sorry, @anon84763962. 
️ Ignorance is a terrible thing!
I’m lucky to have this sister who is interested enough to listen and I know she cares about me. I’ve been invisible in my family for so long. I’m grateful she’s taking the time now to get to know me. I guess I’m overly sensitive to disregard because of not being seen and not being helped.
I hope you stay away from truly toxic people. I have another sister who I don’t speak with anymore. She was toxic so I finally disowned her. Those really destructive people aren’t allowed in my life.
I’m lucky I have two sisters. The other one is really good to me.
I try to avoid the toxic one as much as possible. I think she has a personality disorder. She is very selfish and she can’t stand to be challenged. She just crumbles if anyone pulls her up on anything. She only remembers bad things and brings them up constantly to make people feel bad about their past.
I’ve changed my technique when speaking with her now. I actually stand up to her and tell her what I really think about situations.
She and her partner are really stupid. They make stupid decisions. I’ve recently started taking seroquel and it comes with warnings all over it not to drink while taking it. Her partner was prescribed seroquel for depression and got drunk on it and ate a whole box of it. She wasn’t admitted to the psych ward, just had her stomach pumped. But this is a big story for them (they’re drama queens, the pair of them) so they play it up with whoever they are talking to.
Both of them suffer depression and anxiety. You would think they would have a little more sensitivity when it comes to mental illness. But no, they don’t. In Australia we have a term (insulting) called Bogan. Both my sister and her partner are bogans. It’s probably the equivalent of the American term Trailer Trash.
It’s actually really hard to reconcile that she is part of our family. It’s like she comes from some other family.
I believe my destructive sister has BPD. I was compassionate towards her and held on as long as I could, but she self-medicates and perpetuates her problems. I can’t save her, she’ll continue to hurt me if I try, so she’s out.
Now, I’m almost 50 years old and just finally made this final decision about six months ago! It’s hard when it’s a sibling, but I’m focused on my own healing and it doesn’t/can’t involve her.
I’m glad you stand up to your sister. Calling people out on things is important. Protect yourself ️
It sounds like we both have similar situations with our sisters! It’s nice to find someone who can relate.
When you cut your bad sister off, did you say anything to her about it, like tell her you just can’t deal with the destructiveness etc? Or did you just stop talking to her?
I still struggle with not explaining things to her and feeling like I still could/should. I just stopped answering her calls and texts, etc. She went on a couple of rants that bolstered my decision to disown her. But I do still feel a thread of connection and a sense of familial responsibility. I think when I can get the wording just right that I will write to her. But seeing her and speaking with her is not an option for me right now.
Her absence has given my life a little peace where there was Once stress and conflict. I did the right thing for sure.
You’re a really strong woman @Hedgehog. I’ve always really admired you.
I think the familial responsibility bit it was ties me to my bad sister. I know my mother just wants all three of us to get along so I keep the contact up for Mum’s sake more than anything else.
I’m glad your decision has brought peace to your life. It’s so hard to find that, that when you do, you really need to hold onto it for as long as possible.
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Thank you! You’re very strong too, @anon84763962! We all have to do what we can do when we can. My mom was an enabler to this sister, which unfortunately was bad for everyone. My mom passed away seven years ago, and it still took me all these years longer to do this.
You’ll find what works for you in the time that’s right for you. Like I said, your standing up to her is so important and will be healing and empowering for you. I wish you the best in that difficult situation! 
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