day 3 of no drinking. anyways me and my old friends have nothing in common,. i don’t miss them.
Death to old friends, certain.
It’s good you recognize that. It sounds like you’re ready to make new, sober friends
I had that realization when I quit drinking, also. Most of my friends now are friends who don’t drink.
My former friends didn’t like me with the alcohol. They tried an intervention once. It didn’t work.
Now I have two solid friends who don’t drink and all is well now.
People places and things they call it in AA
Very important early in sobriety!!
Me myself I get sick at the thought of alcohol usually
My friend drank around me for 3 years. Now we’re both on naltrexone and off of alcohol
I have a hard time feeling at ease with others unless I’m drinking.
Not healthy, and trying to learn how to hang out without alcohol involved.
I’m more into enjoying your friends, no matter if they drink or not.
I usually think that I don’t have many opportunities to make meaningful relationships that last for years. When I’m them I talk and listen a lot, it’s not just being drunk or something else.
So yes, in my opinion we should all enjoy time with our friends, would you refuse a glass of wine with friends? When I say wine I could say anything else, beer, I don’t know…
I really enjoy being with my friends, mostly because I don’t know how long it gonna last. Someone finds a new place to live far away from me, or a friend starts living with a gf, so many things that could happen.
I spent so much time alone that I think I can have sense of a real value of a good talk.
there are old friends of mine that i may not like much now adays .
some are very arrogant and stuck up and just not my type of people so i would not want to be friends with them today choice given.
i have to be very careful with alcohol because i was a binge drinker who got in a lot of trouble.
my x boyfriend in sa is a very very good drunk and i was sober the time we were together.
when he got drunk with his friends i would just not drink.
i had 5 years without a drop.
then drank 4 months or so.
then 3 years without a drop and now i drink about 5 drinks a year or so.
i had half a bottle of wine the other day but managed to stop at half bottle instead of drinking whole bottle like i used to and more.
i can not go to pubs or night clubs or parties at night.
i can not dance sober or socialise sober and feel uncomfortable i think.
im in bed 6 pm or so anyway now adays due to depession and not wanting to be awake to feel awful.
i would not party with friends nowadays.
i do not get drunk now adays.
i dont have friends to party with really anyway but if i did i would have to say no to getting drunk and partying.
i could not be with friends who did drugs incase it would tempt me.
i have some family that are very arrogant and stuck up and think they are sooo superior in their view and belief of hierarchy but i beleive differently and do not agree and the way they treat me is not ok.
they do not value me so i do not like to be around them.
i want to find my people.
maybe i have them in spirit but not in da flesh or i person.
its better to be alone than have bad friends.
Same. There were people I used and people who used me.
But not friends.
For me, a lot of them were cool people. But we are now in such different places in our lives that it is a struggle to talk with them about anything. We just have no overlapping interests.
I don’t even have overlapping interests with the person that I used to be when I was using and drinking. I can remember being there, but so much of it is foreign to me now. Horrifying and embarassing. It’s like someone else was using my body while I watched from the sidelines. I suppose it’s a healthy mind shift when you no longer relate to addictive behavior, but just holy crap, y’know?
Yeah. A lot of people who knew me back then and fell out of touch have reached out again, listened to my updates on my current life, and said “damn, what happened to you? You used to be so cool.”
Mostly when i think back on my “cool” stories, I feel either deeply embarased or deeply thankful I didnt end up dead.
Things my old friends find deeply uncool about my current life:
I got married
I own a home
I have lived in the same city for more than 6 months
I don’t drink
I know how to cook
I have children
I have children intentionally
Im back in school
I haven’t done anything likely to result in serious injury/death in years
I don’t watch TV anymore (because of the brain damage because of aforementioned dangerous life choices)
@ninjastar Having children intentionally has got to be worst. No child should be conceived outside a consensual drunken stupor. That’s how I was conceived and I turned out alright, didn’t I?
Sobriety can be a harsh judge. That said I seem to get along with most of my friends even when sober.
I think the most offensive part for them is that the way I chose to have children required someone else to evaluate me and deem me responsible enough, and i passed.
You broke their hearts.
To be fair, the only other person from that group who grew up and out of the lifestyle is one of my best friends and I also have trouble believing he is responsible enough to be a parent. But he for sure is. I remember the first time we tried hanging out after we both got into therapy and then serious relationships. We went out to the bar with every intention of having antics. Like five minutes after walking in, we just turned around and walked out, because we realized we had enough happiness and inner peace that we didn’t need to fill the void with reckless decisions. We spent the rest of the night watching Buffy.
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