I’ve been talking to this guy for about a week, we both like each other, we skype and text. He’s a great guy and has asked questions like what medications do I take and why don’t I work or go to school, and I kinda dodge the questions or half answer them, and it makes me feel deceitful.
We plan on meeting this Sunday, so do I tell him then? Or wait a few more times we meet?
See how it goes… If your meeting up for the first time… let him get to know you. Plus the topic might not come up… and you two can have a great first meeting.
I feel bad on this topic… I tell people to wait and stuff…
but I have always ended up just blurting it out there.
Sometimes people have left right there… other times… people have stuck around. I sort of think if I tell them early and they split… then I haven’t gotten attached and it’s easier for me to bounce back.
I guess I can only say… follow your inner bell. If the conversation turns that way… and it feels right to tell… then tell.
Wow, I’m kinda shocked he asked what meds you are on and you’ve only known him a week!
I brought it up! I said my meds are making my eyes messed up. So I told him I was on blood pressure meds (half lie)
You make a good point. I can get attached easily or hopeful. And dragging out the relationship would really hurt me if telling him were a deal breaker. I don’t see why it would be, but I can tell he’s very ambitious and might be looking for someone without negative symptoms of SZ.
Always good to tell the truth - not to deceive.
If he says no, He’s not worth it :).
Why not practice with us what you are going to say, when he asks you what you do with your days if you don’t work or go to school?
Well I’d love to say:
“You’re probably wondering why I don’t work or go to school. Well I was diagnosed schizophrenic 2 years ago, and it’s been a struggle in all aspects of my life. I’ve lost friends, lost jobs, dropped out of school, and suffer day to day, but I’m medicated and I’m doing as good as I can, much better than before. Do you have any questions for me?”
That’s a really brave thing to say. Well spoken too.
Thank you. Do you think I should bring it up this Sunday if we meet?
I would play it by ear, see whAt kind of connection you have with him and how comfortable you feel. Personally I’ve never told anyone other than teachers at school. My bf was with me throughout the 1st psychosis and dx, so he knew me before and now after. I have felt the urge to tell friends but have always held back from doing so.
I would suggest tell if you feel comfortable telling. I firmly believe that if you tell it comfortably and confidently, others will perceive of it more positively. If you make it a big deal, why wouldn’t he as well? And the converse. In general, people take things as they are presented to them. Are you comfortable with your diagnosis yourself?
I really like your suggestion. Not to make it a big deal. And I’m comfortable with my diagnosis, I’m not and haven’t been afraid to tell friends and extended family and even the occasional stranger but I don’t do that often, it usually doesn’t feel necessary.
do what you feel comfortable with, I suppose he ahs to find out at some time. Make the illness sound interesting, like something supernatural. You know you could be a medium.
It has been long time since I have dated anybody, I do not know the answer, but you may use this ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ principle, or you may just tell about your illness immediately, I do not know.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
I usually just blurt it out like surprisedj. I told this new friend I’m hanging out with immediately and he was totally cool about it. He even checked out this forum and asked if supplements might help my symptoms. We still text everyday. But everyone is different, I suppose. A lot of people are afraid of what they don’t understand.
If you two have been getting on well and you think you might have a potential relationship I don’t think you’d scare him off by telling him, but if you don’t feel up to it just yet, then don’t worry about it til later. Good luck on your date. I think you’ll have a great time
I told my fiancé on our third date. I agree that as long as you don’t make a big deal about it, other people usually don’t get alarmed. I think it goes best when they have had enough time around you to know your personality, but it is early enough that you don’t feel you were hiding it. That way they already know you’re not going to murder a bunch of people or anything, because they know you’re pretty cool.