I get this kind of nice atmospheric surroundings feel, it feels ‘safe’ and peaceful, sweet and warm,
Until things go mean.
Does anyone have this
How does your psychosis episode differ, start vs end?
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My psychotic episodes were exhausting and hard to endure. But i get pretty amped or manic i guess.
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I used to feel good about my delusions when I was a kid and teen because I thought I was going to live to be 80 then go to heaven.
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I miss something about my psychotic episodes, the start of them, but I don’t want it again, either. Cos I know it goes bad. 
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Its exhausting but its interesting while it lasts. Kind of a manic feeling, lot of energy that costs a lot later
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Well I don’t miss the start completely but there was something so touching about the atmosphere they created.
Yea I understand the exhaustion very much. They occupied my mind so much I never used to eat much during them, kind of cool to loose weight 
but aside from that, hell no
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I feel weird in the mind when psychotic
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When I first start getting psychotic everything seems sharper and brighter, like a strange clarity comes over me. It feels incredible until it goes south. Then it sucks and is scary.
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Same here. I used to feel homely and safe until the realisation sets in. When it is gone too far I feel like angry irritable guilty and burnt out.
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I can’t remember my psychotic states, I think because all the ECT treatments I’ve had.
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It was such a a weird mix of emotions. On one hand I felt guilty and scared and confused.
But on the other hand I felt absolutely invincible and I had such a strong sense of purpose and the power I thought I had was quite the rush.
Being a demon lord wasn’t all bad but it was still less than ideal
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I have the same problem due to ECT.
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I just remember a loss of flexibility, especially in dealing with others.
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When I had delusions I thought that I had found meaning to my life. I heard horns in the background playing music and a sense of peace, belonging and identity. I thought that I was on a holy mission. No more thinking about the unnecessary. What I felt was divine. Like I was at the center of the universe.
It totally came crashing down with paranoia, horrific delusions and panic.
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Hey Speedy is this a metaphor or did you genuinely hear an auditorial hallucination of horns playing music in the background? During a psychotic episode of mine in Philadelphia I believe that a concert was taking place for about 6 hours straight finally I realized that the music and sound that I heard was hallucinated and there was no concert off in the distance one of the weirder hallucinations I’ve ever experienced.
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Yes! I heard horns playing. I thought it was a divine sign. Then I realized it was just another hallucination.
I became very biblical in my psychosis, and I’m an atheist, so it was really out of character.
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I remember that during psychosis sometimes I felt really nervous, anxious and scared, but some moments I was feeling like the most powerful creature in the universe. Very mixed feelings
But I would not want to go back to psychosis times… my life was falling apart. I did some mistakes and I still feel a bit guilty of the things I’ve done during psychosis. Also I lost most of my friends…
I want to stay stable as long as its possible - it’s my goal for life now.
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Yeah for sure. At times everything felt magical and very intriguing and light. But other times were very frightening and horrible. Now that im stable everything is boring and not much is interesting or entertaining. But im sane so whatever i guess.
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There were times when I was feeling pretty good, and then it turned bad on me. I’d been at this facility for over a year, and they had stopped giving me my Prolixin shot, and it took a while, but boy did it ever catch up with me.
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