It’s hard to pinpoint when I knew I was ill, in my psychotic states in and out of the hospitals I always was distracted by psychosis instead of realizing I was struggling with my sz. Not knowing you’re sick is a symptom of schizophenia isn’t it? Only after I was last hospitalized and released did I then see a therapist who talked to me how people don’t think they’re sick- it really helped bc she talked about how people go off their meds and stuff, all the things I wanted to do but realize I now will do my best to stay on them. I remember getting mad at my inner voices and that other people don’t hear them. But it’s hard to say at one exact moment I was sick. But to that effect, a year before my first psychotic break I remember thinking the friend I was hanging out with at the time was actually another friend of mine. When I realized my mind was out of wack is when I had a scary realization that I might be one of “those” people who loses their minds. Sadly enough a year later is when two years of drugs and hospitalizations were ruling my life. Sz sucks when it happens at first…
Well I had symptoms all my life but didn’t know I was ill until I involved a friend in one of my psychotic episodes when I was 16. She ended up realizing something was very wrong and recommended I get help. First I just panicked that she would tell everyone I was crazy even though I wasn’t, but then I started thinking about it and ended up questioning my sanity and basically the reality of everything I’d ever experienced in life. Over several more years I gradually recognized more and more features of psychosis in myself until I gave in and decided to get help for it.
I don’t think I would’ve ever realized I had an illness if someone else hadn’t intervened. I am so glad I did because it made my life so much less terrifying.
Anna is ur med working for u now …u look fine today…so sup miss anna…
Hmmm well I’m not 100% sure depakote does anything for me at all. It’s true my mood and anxiety have improved on it, but they took so long to go away and there were so many other variables that I’m not convinced this med does anything of note for me.
Modafinil does its job. I’m still feeling pretty awake and aware 10 hours after taking it 
hope I can get to sleep tonight, yikes
When i was 14 I started having panic attacks but i didn’t do anything about it until my sz started when i was 18 and I realised something was wrong bcuz i was cutting myself and my mother told me I’m not normal. I overheard her talking to a friend and she said the look in my eyes is not of God. Weird but true.