Did you even know much about it before you were diagnosed?
For me I took many psychology classes and read a lot about psychology so I knew a good deal about schizophrenia, even so I was experiencing symptoms for years before I realized I could be schizo (delusions and paranoia).
And what was the defining factor that changed your opinion? Mine was when I started to hear voices. That’s when I knew I was experiencing psychosis.
It was a few months after hearing voices and completely exploded before someone said I should go to the doctor because I may be bipolar.
It was a pastor that my parents called at 4am to come pray over me because I had gone completely insane . I was different people and laughing , screaming, crying , thrashing on the floor. My parents thought I was possessed. They locked me in my room
So after that I started researching and researching about what mental illness was.
The first second I the SOBs said it. If I had not seen the compassion and love in there faces I would have gone of the deep end.
I have heard this too. They are observing us.
about 15 years.
I was about to have to be hospitalized again.
My docter increased my dosage and I responded, not fully but it kept me out of the hospital.
I went for psychotherapy for many years and the psychologist kept telling me there was nothing wrong with me. Until one I think he saw something is not right with me anymore. He referred me to the psychiatrist. On my first appointment with her she was livid because the psychologist waited so long before he referred me to her. I was immediately prescribed Risperdal. It was only after my third visit to the psychiatrist that I asked her what my diagnosis was. She said I had “delusional paranoia” but on the medical aid forms I saw that she wrote “paranoid schizophrenia”. It still took me about six months after my dx before I started reading up on sz which ultimately made me realize that I have sz.
What a good question!
It took me more than 10 years to realize I had sz.
I wish I had known it much earlier then I would’ve been ok by now.
Prior to my diagnosis and research, I was like a lot of ppl and assumed through context that it was the same as DID. Now that I know what it really is, in a hypocritical way, I hate it when I see anything/anyone saying it’s the same as DID.
But as far as when I knew I had it was when I was diagnosed with it. Prior to that, different ideas cane through my mind. I first thought it was a tumor or brain lesions causing my problems. Then I thought it was physical like a hormone imbalance (thyroid or something). Finally I researched mental illnesses and decided it could be things like GAD, SAD, Depression, bipolar, OCD, and even SZ. Narrowing it down was difficult because I didn’t know I had certain symptoms and I was basing it all on subjective experience.
My doctor and therapist saw how I presented, my behavior, and what I admitted to feeling and my diagnosis started at Major Depression with Psychotic features and went to SZA as they pieced everything together.
The first time I ran across SZ in my research, I immediately dismissed it because I felt it was too ‘big’ and serious of a diagnosis. Then after realizing that my experiences were VERY similar to other people online with SZ, I realized it was possible for me to have SZ but still never fully considered it was a part of what I had until my current diagnosis of SZA. The hardest part was accepting that the things I had experienced/thought weren’t real.
After that, I always wanted to minimize my diagnosis to smaller less serious parts. I’m officially SZA bipolar type, but I tried looking at it as if I had schizotypal PD, social anxiety disorder/social phobia, bipolar disorder w/ psychosis, and a little OCD-like obsessions and compulsions. Either way, you mix it all together it’s still missing things like my negative symptoms (very different from depression), and the psychosis is always there at a somewhat low level where I can usually maintain a little bit of insight.
Even after all that, its still hard to accept and not think that I’m being made to think I’m sick to cover something up.
i didnt know anything about it before i was diagnosed,
i had to learn about it, it was just another word, but it was scary i guess,
i remember thinking i could get away with anything and i’d have a really good excuse to get out of it, i’d say it wasnt me it was the illness lol
I can’t realize it now, wish i could do that actually.
It would probably be easier not knowing i was being screwed with.
I was 12 when I was diagnosed. I had no concept of any kind of mental illness, much less schizophrenia. My diagnosis came quick, within a few days. I vividly remember sitting in the doctor’s office in the hospital and having him explain the disease to me. I thought my life was over. I was heavily drugged and thought I would never be the same. I didn’t really get out of that funk until I turned 18.
I heard voices at a young age as I got older I came to be able to control them , I developed a swagger , I though I had beat it , and bam! I become psychotic , yet I am still largely able to control voices , so 30 years of practice was not wasted. My sympthoms are somatic/tactile with a few cognitive problems ; can’t understand spoken language at times. I really never did research on sz until I got sick , but it was always the elephant in the room. The day I was dxd the pdoc asked me what I thought was wrong , and I told her I had schizophrenia. She agreed
I didn’t have a clue for about ten years until I checked myself into the local mental health facility. I was in there for three weeks before they could administer any medications because I had too much junk in my blood from street drugs. I was getting very paranoid that this was a trap to keep me indefinitely confined there. I was relieved to be diagnosed with something they could treat after all those years of tolerating the symptoms that lead me to those street drugs that were more immediately effective in what ailed me.
It was when I snapped out of whatever world I was in suddenly in hospital. I thought I could enter the subconscious world and I panicked because all I could see was people being manipulated everywhere I went.
I found out my diagnosis about six months ago, suspected it for about a year, was still a shock when I found out, took a couple of months for it to sink in.
I didn’t really understand much about it; I didn’t consider that my diagnosis could even be sz. I didn’t have prominent voices which I thought was necessary even though I did hear things occasionally. I think I am able to hide it better than some but that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with symptoms.
I think after I found out and did some reading I realized that it all made more sense and that I finally had some answers.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was still a little kid… then OCD and other things as I grew. 14 I was diagnosed with PTSD after a house fire. Then I started drugs and everyone said addiction not mental illness.
Then SZA and on up to SZ when I was in hospital at 17. Even when I was told it… I don’t think I believed it.
My Mom and Dad have been very supportive… they always tried to get me the most help they could. They tried to tell me… and explain why I needed the meds I was on… but I was pretty stubborn. I do remember a LOT of child psychologist…
I must not have liked them because I refused to listen to them.
People during my hospital stays told me all the time what I was diagnosed with… but I don’t think I finally accepted it until about 6 years ago.