When (if you did) did you come to terms that you were mentally ill?

I didn’t even consider it for a long time. My parents literally dragged me to a therapist in those days.

Only this year has it really hit me that I’m sick.

My cover photo (Im on the right) was around a year and a half before my psychotic break. You can see in my eyes that something was starting to go wrong.

I still kind of bounce back and forth wondering if this ■■■■ is real or I’m sick. Isolation is really helping.

There have been a few moments where a message would have came quickly (car driving by) and I almost had to put effort/focus on the situation before it came. It might actually be starting to break apart the less I care about it, the less weight I put on it, the more I focus on living my life.

1 Like

yeah, after I gained my sanity, I had a hard time with the fact that first, I’d have to take pills all my life, second I wasn’t like a normal person. My mom has this illness too, we never thought it would happen to me. I was 23 at the time. My friends called an ambulance and I was hospitalized. I didn’t take pills for quite sometime and I couldn’t function! Even though I don’t hallucinate, it’s still pretty bad. I still lose touch with reality. Long story short, I still have a hard time that I should probably not have kids of my own, not to pass this illness to another human being and that I will not have an easy normal life like a normal human being. There’s always something wrong with me.

You look great. Nice picture. I can’t tell anything from your picture. If you can function like a normal person with pills, then enjoy your life!

thanks. i don’t plan on having kids either, which is sad for me. i love kids… i might adopt them one day.

2 Likes

you look great yourself. I can’t tell anything in your pic either.

1 Like

I knew something was wrong when I was 15. I’m 56 now. Sometimes I think I have more of an anxiety disorder than sz. I have hallucinated before, but not that much. Sometimes my reality is stranger than psychosis.

There seem to be a lot of potential underlying factors that could prop up psychosis or schizophrenia.

I haven’t really gathered much about what your particular experience is like.

For me though, social anxiety, the tendency to obsess, the inability to rationalize the presence of thoughts that would seem controversial but turn out to be quite common. These things have all been pillars of my psychotic focus.

I’ve always been more focused on the internal experience rather than the external. Unfortunately SZ has made the internal experience impossible to enjoy like I used to, but that original focus was another layer of reinforcement behind my focus on the illness.

I was likewise dragged into a shrinks office by my parents for what like a year before I actually took an antipsychotic. I was sent to therapy as well. I didn’t really like therapy until I was diagnosed and confirmed crazy, then I figured it was good to at least be in therapy.

It took me a year after people told me I was crazy to actually take meds for being crazy.

lol confirmed

15151515

I don’t see a pic baby is it cuz I’m on my phone? Would love to see you.

Anger spurting uncontrollably mornings waking in bed. Knew I needed med then gone after taking them. Sucks I thought I was just like everybody else.

me and my sister. right before i started to slowly go insane.

2 Likes

image above

1515151515

Oh wow David you are enchanting. You and your sis remind me of my daughter and her boyfriend. So young. So beautiful. Thanks for sharing honey.

1 Like

yesterday.
take care :alien:

2 Likes

For many years, I thought I was schizotypal, and always identified as that. I was100% sure of it. They still gave me schizophrenia as a diagnosis. Although ive been a hermit kind of person for many years, its not untill the last 5 years I believed them. I sort of hate it, but not for my own sake, but more that there is a terrible stigma.

It took a while for me to realize I’m ill. I read a sz book and after a few chapters I realized the doctors were right.

Every day.

8/11/15

I was having problems when I was young… crumbling slowly since I was 15. Hospitalized at 17… to some of the people I used to know… I just fell off the face of the earth.

they had no idea that I was in hospital.

Most people I’ve been open with… some people I still haven’t told…

It’s a case by case basis.

I really came to terms that I was mentally ill when I was 21. My life kept running aground. I couldn’t get away from the problems I had. I had depression but due to stigma I kept looking for some socially acceptable diagnosis, lik eallergies.

I finally bit the bullet and went to a pdoc when I was 22.

I think I came to terms with it about 4 years ago… it was 2 years after my suicide attempt (docs said I was pretty close to the exit when I was found)

I was fully clean and sober for two years… but the problems in my head were still there… (so I couldn’t blame it all on drugs and alcohol)

I hit this patch of nearly crippling negative symptoms… I was so down… so flat… I gave up and gave in… bring on the meds… bring on the docs who will treat me like a lab rat… I have nothing left to fight with…

So I took the meds given to me… I did was others told me to do…

Then to my surprise… things started getting better… that’s when I started accepting that I need to take this seriously… and learn what I can…

1 Like